Funny clichéd things that men put on their dating pages....

[bananatwain]

Or women of course but I'm a heterosexual female so wouldn't know!

I'll start:

• 6ft4 because apparently that matters.
• doesn't take life too seriously so if you can't handle sarcasm swipe left
• photos of themselves holding fish
• not sure what to write here

Finding dating pretty uninspiring at the moment as you can probably tell so thought I'd at least get a laugh out of it!

I've just written a bit about my hobbies, my interests, etc. It's always a starting point. I don't mention I have a young child until we've chatted for a bit as don't want to attract weirdos who are possibly looking for women with children.

Selfies in toilets and topless selfies so unimaginative. The strangest profile picture I saw was posing outside Auschwitz.....WTF!

"Why does no one chat on here?" - Probably because you have the personality of a wet mop and just give yes or no answers

Tongue out selfie - yuck!!! I can see the plaque on your tongue mate

I'm a family man / Family is the most important thing in the world

Translation: I spend all my free time at my mum's house and now that all my siblings are married I need a wife to bring as well.

Omg it could be him! 😂 he was on tinder.

Maybe he is also on other sites…there surely cannot be more than one octopus guy

I’m no longer on there as, thank god, I found a good one amongst all the drudgery but he definitely stood out in my mind

@Vapeyvapevape nail on the head there I think

I'm a Sapiophile. Of course you are with your half naked photo.

@bananatwain

I'm curious now to know what annoying things women write on their profiles now....

"Just ask" - it's universal!

Swap fish for dogs and horses.

Paddle boarding (nothing wrong with that - just seems 90% of women I see on OLD are doing it!)

I once had one bloke who said he liked to write the alphabet with his tongue...( on your minge! )

@Lonelylonelylonely

Own house = mortgaged to the hilt (so house actually owned by the bank) Own car = car on PCP (so far actually owned by loan company) Own hair and teeth = well done! You've made it to your 40's without losing either. Wow. I'm impressed.

love it 🤣🤣

@bananatwain

Saw one today 'might let you get to know the real me if you play your cards right' - like it's some kind of weird game.

Also, photos taken from below the chin so can just about count the nose hairs.

Right.. I'm off to do some plucking. And ( takes note ) no fish..

@mycatsarecool

"I'm just a normal guy"...hmm, instantly the alarm bells go off 🤣🤣

Bloody hell.. I'm off to delete "normal"..

Why can't they take a decent photo? It's not like you've got to wait a week for them to come back from Boots and find they're all blurred these days. They could take another selfie, instead of settling for the blurred one that's angled up the nostrils and only half the face showing. Do they really think this is going to bring women flocking? Presumably so, because often, there's a seemingly puzzled comment about how they're about to give up, because no one responds. Man, have you seen just how awful your profile is? That's why no one responds.

There are articles about why there are do many fish photos out there. It's definitely a (weird) thing.

@Lonelylonelylonely

I once set my profile pic as a generic pic of a fish. I still had over 99 "likes" in less than an hour around half of them asking why I was a fish. Made me realise just how indiscriminate most men on these apps are.

I started setting up a Facebook dating profile about a year ago. Got bored long before adding a picture or any details so it's basically a blank page with a user name and my age. Had several likes a week since 😆

Must be awful to have to go on dating sites to meet people. Why cant men and women meet people like they did in the old days.. it wasn't a thing in my dating days., And there are far more different kinds of places to meet a partner these days, than there used to be years ago.

Some of the replies here are brilliant.

Up the nose photos, usually taken in their cars.
They'll be in a photo with their mates but will be the short, fat, bald one.
The wear shirts with thick vertical stripes in colours purple, brown, navy and black.
Looking for their princess.
Their kid sare their world (but clearly the ex-wife, girlfriend, partner, fuckbuddy never was).

"Looking for my soul mate"

I met my husband on tinder (but a long time ago now, we’ve been together since 2014). But back then the ‘thing’ I never understood was how many men had a photo of them stroking a tiger?! I think they put it to show they’re adventurous but I’d always swipe left as I felt it showed a lack of understanding of ethical / world issues. But honestly, you used to see a man stroking a drugged tiger probs every 15ish profiles.

"I don't have much time for dating" So why are you here then?!

The tiger pictures are still aplenty. More than 10-15 I'd say and now you know they are using old pictures.

Profiles with loads of selfies and not a single smile among them. Why? Why would I want a cheerless man with no friends to take a picture for them?

Swipe left on anyone with a selfie in a vehicle. Hasn’t even got the imagination to get out of the fucking car.

@TulipCat

"I don't have much time for dating" So why are you here then?!

He's here for fuck.

Aren't they all?

" gentleman "= sexist, " old-school gent" = racist as well.

... ' if you want to be treated like a princess ...' = he'll lock you in a metaphorical gilded cage and not let you go anywhere.