Funny clichéd things that men put on their dating pages....

[bananatwain]

Or women of course but I'm a heterosexual female so wouldn't know!

I'll start:

• 6ft4 because apparently that matters.
• doesn't take life too seriously so if you can't handle sarcasm swipe left
• photos of themselves holding fish
• not sure what to write here

Finding dating pretty uninspiring at the moment as you can probably tell so thought I'd at least get a laugh out of it!

Not vanilla

Sorry just reported my own post @mumsnet coz it could trigger 😳 please delete ASAP

For my most recent ex:

5 Years out of date photos (which I took).

Lying about body type (he says average body type but he's got a massive beer belly).

Hobbies listed as "all the usual pastimes" Mine are crochet and cooking, not that unusual but ffs give the ladies a clue about your mountain bike obsession, man!

Another popular one seems to be "will fill this in later". Basically can't be arsed making any effort and think they can rely of a photo of them holding a fish or wearing cycling gear to reel us in 🙄

'I enjoy a variety of music from jazz to classical, but currently mostly listening to the Beatles and the Stone Roses.'

Code for, 'I don't really listen to music, but think I should, so have picked a classic band plus the only one I can remember from my youth.'

Posing by fast car or motorcycle (not theirs) no drama,

I’m in ireland and there is a plague of Conor McGregor lookalikes 🤮 with all the interest in MMA —and latent aggression— tattoos and spivvy clothes complete with sunglasses.

The "not interested in messaging for ages so only swipe if you want to meet"

My own chap, after 2 weeks of lovely, informative and sometimes flirty messages said "at risk of ruining this beautiful friendship, would you like to go on a date?" I loved that approach.

Photos of them indoor rock climbing
Asking for travel tips to Japan
No photos of the guy, just photos of cars
“I quit my job on a whim and moved to [insert exotic destination]” - they’re either lying, did it off mummy and daddy’s dollar, or feckless perma-gap-yah twats
“I’m looking for someone who doesn’t take themselves too seriously” - they have as much depth as a birdbath
“Into ethical non-monogamy, if that’s not your thing swipe left” (actually saw this a lot from women too) - I’ll use the pretext of polyamory to be a manipulative gaslighter
“I’ve got my own house” - and? So have I? What do you want, a medal?

'My kids are my world', usually on the profile of men who quite quickly prove the only people they do actually care about are themselves.

"I'm just a normal guy"...hmm, instantly the alarm bells go off 🤣🤣

What is it with people now saying How's you" on dating sites?

I don't bite

Picture of them holding a pint

'A lot to offer the right woman'

'My friends said I should give this a try'

'You won't be disappointed'

'Good sense of humour'

Don't any of the guys ever shave or is 'designer stubble' making a comeback ?!

They usually all have the following pictures:-

1. In the gym
2. Running a race
3. With a cute dog
4. Top of Kilamanjaro/Grand Canyon/Rio
5. One with loads of women,most who are better looking that them
6. One with a fish - I assume it's something do with plenty of fish but it's on all sites

The 2 that drive me insane:-

1. I want something meaningful- while their name as Hard4U69XXL or something!!

1. I don't bite...unless you want me too

Yes, yawn to the group shots. Which one are you? I'm not scrolling to find out mate soz.

Hate 'partner in crime'. Or 'no drama.' 'Fill in later' or 'just ask' gets ignored by me, I'm here to get an idea of why you'd be a good date or partner, not to ask you all the basic questions that your profile has space to show.

Only seen 1 fish pic recently. But lately every guy matching with me seems to be trying to show they are either some kind of champion rock climber or skier but has their entire face and body obscured by kit, or else just a terrible selfie sticking their tongue out sitting in a car or van. I don't get why those are the best pics they'd choose for a first impression.

My kids are my world - best dad of the year award on it's way!

And recently I've seen a few say part time dad, which really rubs me up the wrong way

Not putting anything here because what will we chat about. I don't know Dave, maybe things we have in common that will open up a conversation?

"House, job, car". Me too, and...?

Enjoying this thread! I’m so pleased I am happily married and not having to do OLD. There seems to be a real mismatch between men and women on OLD - or maybe in real life too. Where do intelligent women find emotionally and intellectually intelligent men these days? It sounds grim out there.

I hate

• open-minded (I just think they’re a kinky bugger)
• university of life or school of hard-knocks : so bloody tedious
• I’ll fill this in later (why not now?)
• ask me (no, tell me, you lazy fucker)
• I also get really irritated on Hinge (for example) where they can state quite clearly if they have kids, but they don’t. I don’t want to date anyone with kids. Then you’ll be messaging and they’ll announce they’ve got 4. WTF didn’t you put that in your profile. So I can filter you out.

The fish photos are because most men don't take selfies or even consider taking some specifically for their profile so they use the only ones they have and that's of them holding a fish because they're proud of their catch and all men take a tripod and clicker ready for catch selfies when they're fishing.

Don't match if .... list of bitter dislikes - probably hates women.

Open minded (translates as married or wants anal)

Own car, house, teeth - unless you're out of my age range I'm going to assume the teeth in your mouth are your own and I hope at age 45 you aren't living with you're parents and taking the bus or getting dogs from your dad

*lifts not dogs 😆

I was on Tinder when I was about 20. Saw a lad who had "riding my donkey all the way to Seshlehem" as his bio. Was very close to packing up and moving to a convent after that,

@glebaisaword

Yes, yawn to the group shots. Which one are you? I'm not scrolling to find out mate soz.

Hate 'partner in crime'. Or 'no drama.' 'Fill in later' or 'just ask' gets ignored by me, I'm here to get an idea of why you'd be a good date or partner, not to ask you all the basic questions that your profile has space to show.

Only seen 1 fish pic recently. But lately every guy matching with me seems to be trying to show they are either some kind of champion rock climber or skier but has their entire face and body obscured by kit, or else just a terrible selfie sticking their tongue out sitting in a car or van. I don't get why those are the best pics they'd choose for a first impression.

Yep, I was going to say the fish, the group shots and the 'Just ask'. Why the fuck should I go to the trouble of asking anything if you can't be bothered to fill in your profile to a basic level? Your picture is not captivating enough on its own. 😂

Disclaimer: not dated for some time but did for a good few years. If my current relationship ends I will never never go back to it. I'd rather be single. And I met my partner in real life in the end 😂

Selfies in their car. Why?

Selfies from bizarre angles, usually taken in bed and not remotely flattering.

“Just ask”