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Original poster

Funny clichéd things that men put on their dating pages....

209 replies

bananatwain · 04/04/2022 19:30

Or women of course but I'm a heterosexual female so wouldn't know!

I'll start:

  • 6ft4 because apparently that matters.
  • doesn't take life too seriously so if you can't handle sarcasm swipe left
  • photos of themselves holding fish
  • not sure what to write here

Finding dating pretty uninspiring at the moment as you can probably tell so thought I'd at least get a laugh out of it!

OP posts:
BoobsOnTheMoon · 04/04/2022 21:32

Photos of them touching their crotch 🤢

And yes to "just ask" - nah mate, put some fucking effort in Hmm

Kanaloa · 04/04/2022 21:34

I saw one that had under things they like to do ‘like staying in and going out.’

Erm ok. Doesn’t really give much detail though!

JoyLurking9to5 · 04/04/2022 21:35

@bananatwain

Or every photo with the same 5 guys in it so no idea which one the profile belongs to
The ugliest one!
Uncurtailed · 04/04/2022 21:46

I see the women's profiles too - I can assure you that women use all these and many other cringe cliches too....

Vapeyvapevape · 04/04/2022 21:49

I live life to the full - do you ? Do you really ?

excelledyourself · 04/04/2022 21:52

@Uncurtailed

I see the women's profiles too - I can assure you that women use all these and many other cringe cliches too....
I wondered about this.

What is seen as a cliche on a woman's profile?

Vapeyvapevape · 04/04/2022 21:54

I saw one profile picture of a chap with loads of rifles slung across his body - beats the holding a fish or picture of my motorbike crowd !

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 04/04/2022 21:58

My friend shared some dooozies with me. “I’m not a tourist, I’m a citizen of the world”
“Feminist” then asked for nudes.
“Poly. If you don’t want to share me, your loss”
“If you don’t love yourself neither can I”

Sidge · 04/04/2022 22:00

I swiped right on a guy purely on the off chance we’d match so I could ask him about his photo.

Luckily we did match, so I could ask him why he set his profile pic as one of him posing in front of a urinal in a public toilet somewhere.

He deleted me 🤣🤣

Honestly I have so many OLD stories. I nearly wrote a book called Dodged A Bullet.

MasFina · 04/04/2022 22:02

‘If you don’t look like your profile pics, you’re buying the drinks until you do…’ This one is STILL doing the rounds. Not funny the first time, even less funny after reading it #4999 times.

And… ‘I’m the type of guy who’ll open the door for you and slap your arse on your way through.’ So, a complete wanker then..

Oh jeez…

BoobsOnTheMoon · 04/04/2022 22:03

They're all just vile. Where does one find a better class of man??

Lonelylonelylonely · 04/04/2022 22:04

I once set my profile pic as a generic pic of a fish. I still had over 99 "likes" in less than an hour around half of them asking why I was a fish. Made me realise just how indiscriminate most men on these apps are.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/04/2022 22:07

' just ask'
Nothing to say then

'Job? Yes'
Shit job then

'Don't do drama'
I have no interest in actually having a deep relationship where we actually talk

'Easy going'
Lazy

'Is anyone on here real?'
I will continue to message women several miles out of my league and wonder why I get no response. Must be them.

'Have kids, see them EOW. Want more'
I've no idea how hard kids are cos I've never actually parented properly.

'Don't take myself too seriously'
What on Earth does that mean?

Oh - and for all of the above, I'll spelt words correctly for ease of understanding. Doesn't often happen online.

TangoTarantella · 04/04/2022 22:08

The selfies taken in bed with no top on. Always from an unflattering angle, they look like they need a good wash and the sheets look grubby. Yet they seem to think we’ll find it alluring.

arethereanyleftatall · 04/04/2022 22:10

@Lonelylonelylonely

I once set my profile pic as a generic pic of a fish. I still had over 99 "likes" in less than an hour around half of them asking why I was a fish. Made me realise just how indiscriminate most men on these apps are.
On 'plenty of fish' you can see a blurry photo of who looks at your profile and who presses like. 90% press like without even viewing the profile (for me).
DuckPancake · 04/04/2022 22:11

'Own house, own car, own hair & teeth"

🙄 very accomplished....

Lonelylonelylonely · 04/04/2022 22:14

Own house = mortgaged to the hilt (so house actually owned by the bank)
Own car = car on PCP (so far actually owned by loan company)
Own hair and teeth = well done! You've made it to your 40's without losing either. Wow. I'm impressed.

Lonelylonelylonely · 04/04/2022 22:15

*far = car

Original poster
bananatwain · 04/04/2022 22:16

I'm curious now to know what annoying things women write on their profiles now....

OP posts:
BabyNo11989 · 04/04/2022 22:19

“My mum says I’m a catch”

“House trained” (deffo isn’t)

“Message on my insta” (clout chaser)

The height thing really wound me up. It’s everywhere. Do people genuinely care about this?

Half naked “gym” selfies

I can beat the fish thing as well… one guy inexplicably had a picture holding up an octopus 🐙

Original poster
bananatwain · 04/04/2022 22:21

@BabyNo11989

“My mum says I’m a catch”

“House trained” (deffo isn’t)

“Message on my insta” (clout chaser)

The height thing really wound me up. It’s everywhere. Do people genuinely care about this?

Half naked “gym” selfies

I can beat the fish thing as well… one guy inexplicably had a picture holding up an octopus 🐙

Does he look like a short, average weight, geeky, sandy haired kinda guy? Octopus guy keeps turning up on mine I've swiped left 3 times and he keeps coming back! Wonder if we're in the same place...
OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 04/04/2022 22:23

@bananatwain

I'm curious now to know what annoying things women write on their profiles now....
I signed up as a man to look once- they are no where near as generally bad as mens. Most quite funny.

It blows me away how bad mens profiles are - you have once chance to show yourself off, most can't even be arsed to spend 2 minutes taking it. What does that tell you about how much effort they are prepared to put in?

Unfortunately, imo, the quality of women is far far higher than the quality of men, both in life and on OLD.

jimmyjammy001 · 04/04/2022 22:24

Women :-

Just ask = great, very informative
Won't date anyone under 6ft
Pics of them up some mountain or pouting in selfies

I've got 5 kids, if you don't like it then it's your problem = quite certain it's your problem if people won't date you because of it.

Not looking for a step dad to my kids = great so what happens in a few years time when we want to move in together, I'd be living with you and some underage lodger who I have no control over. Sounds fun! Not!

Vapeyvapevape · 04/04/2022 22:26

BabyNo11989
“My mum says I’m a catch”

She's probably desperate for someone to take you off her hands .

Otterhound · 04/04/2022 22:28

Women’s profile
Dog/cat/bunny filters
Pouting at the camera
Group photos and its never the hot one
Photos of horses
Endless ‘If you’re not 6ft don’t bother’ hence the ‘I’m 6ft 4 as it seems to matter’
Kids are my world
Looking for a night in shining armour
Partner in crime
And you can tell the ones who think they’re attractive as they dont even bother with a profile.