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Original poster

Huaband wants to take 'sexy' photos of me.

209 replies

LissyW · 08/02/2022 15:14

Hi everyone, first post... My husband has asked me if he can take some sexy photos of me. He says not pornographic, more erotic. I've said I'll think about it but I'm not sure how I feel about it, so I'm seeking opinions.
My libido, and our sex life, has taken a dip since out daughter was born. Not unusual. Husband says he wants to try to revive things and he thinks the erotic pictures might help to restore my confidence. I don't feel very sexy but he says, to him, I'm as sexy as I ever was. What do you think l. Should I?
Lissy x

OP posts:
Original poster
LissyW · 08/02/2022 15:14

Hi everyone, first post... My husband has asked me if he can take some sexy photos of me. He says not pornographic, more erotic. I've said I'll think about it but I'm not sure how I feel about it, so I'm seeking opinions.
My libido, and our sex life, has taken a dip since out daughter was born. Not unusual. Husband says he wants to try to revive things and he thinks the erotic pictures might help to restore my confidence. I don't feel very sexy but he says, to him, I'm as sexy as I ever was. What do you think l. Should I?
Lissy x

OP posts:
FayCarew · 08/02/2022 15:16

Don't do it.

Dillydollydingdong · 08/02/2022 15:18

Depends what exactly he's thinking of. Tasteful photos with drapery over strategic areas might be ok. Just remember though that chances are, somehow they'd leak out online, even if he promised they wouldn't!

SleepingStandingUp · 08/02/2022 15:20

How old is baby?
What would make YOU want more sex?
I'd be worried it'd all go a bit crotchless panties and legs akimbo but if they works for you fine. If it doesn't but boudoir style would, then do yo u research and have boundaries. And if it doesn't appeal, don't do it.

Also be very wary of what he's taking the photos on and who might be able to access them. On HIS mobile for example is a big no.

Hadalifeonce · 08/02/2022 15:20

I wouldn't. Once he's got them they could end up anywhere and everywhere, even if he didn't mean to.
I have always told our DC that they shouldn't put anything 'out there', even on their phones, that they wouldn't be happy with nanny seeing.

GeodesicDome · 08/02/2022 15:21

Of him, or you?

SeasonFinale · 08/02/2022 15:23

That's a no then

DCINightingale · 08/02/2022 15:24

Are the photos for him or for you? Personally I wouldn't want to have any identifiable part of me in a photo like that for fear of it ending up in undesirable hands - no matter how trustworthy your husband was.

Just dont do anything you are not comfortable with. If he loves you he will respect your boundaries on this without question.

ChaToilLeam · 08/02/2022 15:24

I wouldn’t.

optimistic40 · 08/02/2022 15:26

How do you feel about it? If you want to, then fine (and I would suggest using YOUR phone). But really I doubt that the doing the photoshoot will revive your sex drive - it's more something to do when you actually feel sexual already!

I found that after having babies my sex drive increased when I had time to myself, or when I worked... basically anything that made me feel like the woman I was before, not purely a mother.

QuinkWashable · 08/02/2022 15:40

I think, like many other things, that you should only do it if you actually want to, and that if you do decide to do it, you should get to take some of him first - so he understands what it is that he's asking you to do/risk.

username1987a · 08/02/2022 15:47

Don't do it OP. Don't risk those photos being used against you at some point in the future. Say no and stick to it.

2otheleft · 08/02/2022 15:56

If you're uncomfortable at the thought of it now just imagine how you would feel actually doing it. It won't just be the once either...he will ask for more and more. Take it from someone who's been there. I remember looking back at the photos and feeling dirty doing them. I don't know why cause it's not dirty in anyway that was just how I felt. Do what you feel happy doing and don't let anyone force you to do something you don't feel happy doing. If he gets angry, don't let him make you feel guilty.

Justcallmebebes · 08/02/2022 15:56

My guideline is - would I want my parents/boss/friends to see a photo of me? If the answer is no, then I don't do it

lochmaree · 08/02/2022 16:03

I actually wouldn't mind doing this and would be curious to try it, but I'm too scared of the pictures going somewhere I don't want them - not necessarily maliciously but via some sort of accidental sharing, Google photos or icloud or something.

Piggyk2 · 08/02/2022 16:06

I wouldn't do it. But if YOU want to spice things up... buy some new toys or something.

sixtiesbaby88 · 08/02/2022 16:11

I wouldn't. I can't see the point of taking pictures only you and him can see when you are there with each other anyway. Better to work on your relationship in the real world than risk the photos being shown to other people. And however much anyone promised you never know what will happen in the future

StickerPlace · 08/02/2022 16:13

Some of these replies make me wonder if people have noticed this is a husband wanting to take photos not some new partner.

Can only speak for my husband but I'm very certain our photos aren't going to go further than our personal devices - we're married after all and have lots of private matters like most marriages. If you can't trust a man not to share personal things then don't marry him!!

Back to the question -

OP - it's totally up to you. To me it sounds like your DH maybe thinks you're being too hard on yourself and wants you to see him the way he sees you? If you trust him and are sure it's all with good intentions then do maybe treat yourself to some nice underwear and let him take the pictures. Has only ever been a positive in our relationship and we both know that if the other wanted anything deleted then it would be right away.

If you're not comfortable then of course don't do it. X

CrimbleCrumble1 · 08/02/2022 17:52

It’s a no from me.

Rainbowqueeen · 08/02/2022 18:01

The fact that you’re asking on here says to me that you are not comfortable with the idea. So I would say no on that basis.
I also think it’s risky and I would not agree t it either

The question of what would increase your libido is a good one. I’d have a think about that and suggest some changes based on what would work for you. As you have a young child I’d say that more sleep and your DH stepping up as a parent are probably good starting points. Compliments, hugs, messages during the day would probably help too

picklemewalnuts · 08/02/2022 18:10

If you wanted to give this a go- and I really wouldn't- you could insist he use your phone, so you keep control of the pictures. If that wasn't acceptable I'd want to know why not. I wouldn't want him having photos of me that he could wank over, share online, collect etc. I'd feel really objectified.

If it's the photo shoot he thinks you'd enjoy, well great. If it's for him to have photos of you- absolutely not.

TabithaTittlemouse · 08/02/2022 18:14

Maybe he could work on showing you that he still finds you attractive rather than taking photos for his wank bank.
I would find having faux sexy photos of myself an absolute turn off.

duvetdayforeveryone · 08/02/2022 18:15

For me sexy = having plenty of confidence!

Only take photos you'd be happy your mum and dad seeing.

If you type into google images "woman in silk dress sexy", there are some tasteful poses you could try.

If you are not comfortable, do not do it.

Lilolily · 08/02/2022 18:18

Why not ask him to book and pay for you to have a boudoir shoot at a studio instead? That way you get pampered and get to feel sexy and you both get some lovely photos.

YanTanTetheraPetheraPimp · 08/02/2022 18:22

@TabithaTittlemouse

Maybe he could work on showing you that he still finds you attractive rather than taking photos for his wank bank. I would find having faux sexy photos of myself an absolute turn off.
This. 100%. The fact you have come on here to ask shows how uncertain you are about it. I would never trust any man, including my husband, enough to do this.