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Original poster

Huaband wants to take 'sexy' photos of me.

209 replies

LissyW · 08/02/2022 15:14

Hi everyone, first post... My husband has asked me if he can take some sexy photos of me. He says not pornographic, more erotic. I've said I'll think about it but I'm not sure how I feel about it, so I'm seeking opinions.
My libido, and our sex life, has taken a dip since out daughter was born. Not unusual. Husband says he wants to try to revive things and he thinks the erotic pictures might help to restore my confidence. I don't feel very sexy but he says, to him, I'm as sexy as I ever was. What do you think l. Should I?
Lissy x

OP posts:
AquilaCadens · 09/02/2022 12:09

@LissyW for a different perspective, I had an ex gf who i thought was incredibly beautiful but who had a lot of issues around body image and self confidence. If I'd thought of it this is something I might have suggested for her. Like your husband I wouldn't have brought it up more than once if she didn't seem 100% on board - it would just have been a casual idea that I probably wouldn't even have thought about again. I'd have suggested a professional boudoir shoot though (mostly because they'd do a much better job than me with my crappy phone, and have more experience of setting up lighting etc for the most flattering effect) and wouldn't even have asked to see the pictures if she didn't feel comfortable showing me. I see you're considering taking the pictures yourself, but maybe something like this might work for you too?

AquilaCadens · 09/02/2022 12:09

(I'm also a woman btw, if that wasn't clear!)

Original poster
LissyW · 09/02/2022 14:33

@AquilaCadens

(I'm also a woman btw, if that wasn't clear!)
That's interesting. I wonder if the idea of two women taking pictures would affect some of the attitudes on here, or if some of the attitudes are only because there's a man involved.
OP posts:
CourtRand · 09/02/2022 18:12

I'd do a boudoir photo shoot (pro) but never just him taking dirty photos. Have a feeling they'd make me feel worse.

AChocolateOrangeaday · 09/02/2022 18:28

My Fanny would close faster than a venus fly trap at that suggestion.

It's a no from me OP.

Itsnotdeep · 09/02/2022 19:08

@LissyW at the end of the day, it's down to what you think you need to restore your libido. It doesn't matter what your H says, what other people on this thread say, it's what you want to do. ime of having young children, a photo shoot is the last thing that I would want. But you're not me.

And I don't know anything about people sharing photos on the web or other sites - I don't immediately think that would happen, and I would probably trust my partner, but you never know, so it's good to have that in mind. I don't suppose anyone thinks they will become a victim of revenge porn, but I know (and have seen it happen) that it does happen.

At the end of the day it's what do you want or need. And stop criticising the other women on this Board - you asked for their opinions, and they gave them - it seems you already made your mind up.

I'm remembering a post from years ago where the poster posted a tasteful picture of her arse - it came to be known as the BWA (big white arse)! I can't think of any of these boudoir shots without seeing that massive BWA. Each to their own. I suppose.

Sunshinesky1981 · 09/02/2022 19:55

Never have your fanny and your face in the same photo would be my advice

Piggyk2 · 09/02/2022 20:04

@Sunshinesky1981

Never have your fanny and your face in the same photo would be my advice
Wise.
Dontbeme · 09/02/2022 20:38

@Sunshinesky1981

Never have your fanny and your face in the same photo would be my advice
Great, now I have to redo my passport photo.
SheldonesqueTheBstard · 09/02/2022 20:49

Quality dontbeme 🤣

Original poster
LissyW · 09/02/2022 21:01

Stop criticising? Isn't this a discussion board? Isn't criticism not a part of discussion? In any case, I've hardly been scathing in any critical comments I've made. Stop telling me what not to do! And, no, I hadn't (haven't) made my mind up, but this discussion is helping. Thank you.

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 09/02/2022 21:05

They must love you at passport control dontbeme 😁

Stressedout1009 · 09/02/2022 21:12

@LissyW

I'm surprised how many distrustful, mean-spirited, and downright cynical some of these replies are. I don't think all men are as deceitful, manipulative, and selfish as some of you clearly think. I certainly don't think my husband is! Part of me thinks, we are not getting any younger and it might be nice to have some images that show me as a sexy woman to look back on in the future. In fact, I sort of wish I had some from when I was even younger. That might even remind me of the fact that I WAS sexy once upon a time.
Well why not put all of this in your op? You phrased your post as if this was something you are pressured to do and having some hesitation due to some secret reasons, and now becoming upset at people going according to your post 🤔
Original poster
LissyW · 10/02/2022 08:25

I'm not getting upset at 'people going according to my post' whatever that means. I only got slightly annoyed by someone telling my that I shouldn't criticise and that I had already made my mind up. I haven't.

OP posts:
Original poster
LissyW · 10/02/2022 08:26

Also, I never said I was being pressured. I'm not. It was a suggestion, not even a request really.

OP posts:
layladomino · 10/02/2022 09:01

I would go back to the reason he's given for taking them.... it's to revive your sex life.

So... what do YOU think would revive your sex life? If it's taking some photos then go for it (but I would keep control of the pictures 100% - and somewhere they can't accidentally end up being shared with someone else - it happens!). You could take them of both of you.

There may be other stuff that would help you revive your sex life - for example if you're tired, could you share out tasks better, or get more sleep, or take up an interest that takes you out of the house... There may be longer term tweaks or changes you could both make that make for a more sustainable improvement than a one-off photo session.

Danceswithwhippets · 10/02/2022 09:32

@Shunter350

I'm a bloke and it's a definite no. I just don't get why people put themselves in risk of being exploited like this. Any number OLD sites have bogus contacts with pics clearly lifted from the internet. Don't do it.
I'm a man too, and agree. It's a digital world and nobody has control of any image once it exists. Many posters have suggested a boudoir shoot, which would be the safest and certainly the classiest. I had a partner who was worried about her ExH having taken photos of he during their long (30 year, children) marriage and was then with his next partner and my partner having no control of them. I knew him and his history, and he was a bit creepy. My guess was he was something of a "collector" and treated photos as a kind of trophy.
miltonj · 10/02/2022 09:46

If you feel comfortable with it, there's no reason you shouldn't take sexy pics/nudes for your husband or have him take them of you. You know and trust your husband. And it's a nice flirty bit of marriage. People can be so quick to assume red flags are everywhere.

miltonj · 10/02/2022 09:48

@trumpisagit

Can you imagine looking at "sexy photos" of yourself from 20 odd years ago? I wouldn't find them sexy, but feel a little sad for the me who let herself be exploited. It's your choice OP, but I would advise no.
How is it exploited if you've done it willingly for your husband? Women are not daft, easily swayable creatures just ready to be taken advantage of at any given moment. We have agency and free will. Free will to take sexy pictures or not!
Scbchl · 10/02/2022 09:52

Some of these replies are absolute madness. Do some of you have such untrustworthy husbands/terrible relationships that you instantly think they will end up online or he will use them against her. Really quite a sad and shocking mentality.

Op if you feel comfortable and want to do it then do it but you get to decide positions, what you are wearing and what is covered up.

WhatsWithAllTheCarrots · 10/02/2022 10:27

Hi Lissy, just wanted to say that this is actually something I have done with my husband for a similar reason. What was nice was that I realised I like my body a lot more than I thought I did, and it did give me a boost of self-confidence, which was what was intended. We have deleted all the photos - not because I think he will share them, but because I don't want to forget they're there and accidentally show them to someone else while scrolling through! I think doing selfies / tripod yourself is a good idea.

namechanger121212 · 10/02/2022 12:45

I agree with what @Lilolily said, a boudoir shoot could be very empowering and make you feel amazing, you could have your hair and make up done and choose something tasteful that makes you feel confident etc and then the photos would also be a surprise for him too

SportsMother · 10/02/2022 13:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maireas · 10/02/2022 19:16

Funny how men never find posing nude "empowering".

Maireas · 10/02/2022 19:22

@SheldonesqueTheBstard

Nuh.

But tell him if he is all about the photos then you’ll take ones of him as you find it more ‘erotic’ being the one behind the lens.

Assure him it won’t be pornographic.

And you’ll even bleach his nuuuuus.

GrinGrinGrin
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