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Original poster

Huaband wants to take 'sexy' photos of me.

209 replies

LissyW · 08/02/2022 15:14

Hi everyone, first post... My husband has asked me if he can take some sexy photos of me. He says not pornographic, more erotic. I've said I'll think about it but I'm not sure how I feel about it, so I'm seeking opinions.
My libido, and our sex life, has taken a dip since out daughter was born. Not unusual. Husband says he wants to try to revive things and he thinks the erotic pictures might help to restore my confidence. I don't feel very sexy but he says, to him, I'm as sexy as I ever was. What do you think l. Should I?
Lissy x

OP posts:
Bagelsandbrie · 08/02/2022 19:26

Well if it floats your boat go for it.

I can’t imagine anything worse. I think I’d actually do it in some tongue in cheek way - like get dressed up in a village people type builder outfit and seductively throw myself over the wheelie bins or something. There’s no way I could keep a straight face.

AutomaticMoon · 08/02/2022 19:26

@LissyW

I'm surprised how many distrustful, mean-spirited, and downright cynical some of these replies are. I don't think all men are as deceitful, manipulative, and selfish as some of you clearly think. I certainly don't think my husband is! Part of me thinks, we are not getting any younger and it might be nice to have some images that show me as a sexy woman to look back on in the future. In fact, I sort of wish I had some from when I was even younger. That might even remind me of the fact that I WAS sexy once upon a time.
Sounds like you’re leaning towards doing it, have fun OP, however you do it 😃 I think there’s encoding apps for keeping files secure, IIRC
TabithaTittlemouse · 08/02/2022 19:26

@LissyW

I'm surprised how many distrustful, mean-spirited, and downright cynical some of these replies are. I don't think all men are as deceitful, manipulative, and selfish as some of you clearly think. I certainly don't think my husband is! Part of me thinks, we are not getting any younger and it might be nice to have some images that show me as a sexy woman to look back on in the future. In fact, I sort of wish I had some from when I was even younger. That might even remind me of the fact that I WAS sexy once upon a time.
I don’t think that all men are deceitful, manipulative or selfish. You know your husband and if you want to do it then do it. You asked for advice and you got it.

Fwiw I think I would probably just laugh at my Dh if he suggested it. I think I would find a pot of gravy far sexier than an erotic pic of me (and I’m bloody gorgeous).

Have fun!

CrimbleCrumble1 · 08/02/2022 19:26

OP I did a Boudoir photo shoot and love my photos. It was something I did for myself to celebrate how I felt and looked at the time.

AutomaticMoon · 08/02/2022 19:27

OP you can look on Pinterest for ideas for poses or whatever

trumpisagit · 08/02/2022 19:27

Can you imagine looking at "sexy photos" of yourself from 20 odd years ago?
I wouldn't find them sexy, but feel a little sad for the me who let herself be exploited.
It's your choice OP, but I would advise no.

RantyAunty · 08/02/2022 19:31

What would make you feel more confident?

Original poster
LissyW · 08/02/2022 19:33

WanderingLost167 and AutomaticMoon. I like these ideas. Thank you. x

OP posts:
Iwonder08 · 08/02/2022 19:34

If you don't want to do it then don't do it. But there is nothing wrong with his request at all

BoodleBug51 · 08/02/2022 19:34

Thing is, is he going to find it sexy or you?

Personally, when our DC were little I found DH taking over bedtime and letting me have a long soak in the bath with a glass of wine made me feel far more relaxed and in the mood than posing for a photo would have done..........

ImInStealthMode · 08/02/2022 19:35

@trumpisagit

Can you imagine looking at "sexy photos" of yourself from 20 odd years ago? I wouldn't find them sexy, but feel a little sad for the me who let herself be exploited. It's your choice OP, but I would advise no.
I had some 'boudoir' pictures done by a professional photographer in my early 20s, just for fun. They're arty black and white, not pornographic. I'm nearly 40 now and I still have the two I purchased as prints, one of them is framed in our bedroom (although it's just my bum/legs from the hips down, no face).

Go for it if you want and trust your DH OP. I'd also recommend checking Pinterest and the like for poses you'd be comfortable with. Wear something you feel good in, do your hair and make-up, soft lighting and a glass of wine. Worst case scenario you don't like them and delete them, no harm done.

Also a bit saddened by some of the cynical and untrusting posts in this thread!

DoneByWeds · 08/02/2022 19:35

My body image was at rock bottom when i came out of a long term relationship. I booked a makeover and boudoir photoshoot with a female photographer. The photos are fabulous, a flattering but realistic record of my body 10 years ago. It was an empowering experience and the confidence boost I needed.
And now its a lovely memory of that stage in my life.

Folklore9074 · 08/02/2022 19:41

It’s be a no from me but if you think it’d float your boat go for it. Not sure there is much more to say really.

Sunnytwobridges · 08/02/2022 19:52

Something doesn't sit right with this for me. Why does he think taking photos of you would make you feel sexier. Just weird. I feel like it's more for HIM than for YOU, unless you were the one that suggested it.

Lemis · 08/02/2022 19:56

Ugh of course. Woman becomes newly mum and its up to her to do something drastic to save the sex life.

Instead of him proposing you can do why doesnt he come up with some ideas that he can do to help you feel good about yourself.

I dont see how taking errotic photos for his satisfication is going to genuinely help you.

I wouldnt do this op for the simple fact that its a got a selfish motive behind it and he has not really considered your needs

Lemis · 08/02/2022 19:56

Nothing more off putting and a turn off than a selfish sleazy lover

Esspee · 08/02/2022 20:01

@StickerPlace

Some of these replies make me wonder if people have noticed this is a husband wanting to take photos not some new partner.

Can only speak for my husband but I'm very certain our photos aren't going to go further than our personal devices - we're married after all and have lots of private matters like most marriages. If you can't trust a man not to share personal things then don't marry him!!

Back to the question -

OP - it's totally up to you. To me it sounds like your DH maybe thinks you're being too hard on yourself and wants you to see him the way he sees you? If you trust him and are sure it's all with good intentions then do maybe treat yourself to some nice underwear and let him take the pictures. Has only ever been a positive in our relationship and we both know that if the other wanted anything deleted then it would be right away.

If you're not comfortable then of course don't do it. X

I found out today in an email from Google that “a lot of people are seeing your photos on Google Maps” Really? I make very sure that I don’t post photographs anywhere. I don’t do Facebook or anything like that. Somehow somewhere I have agreed to terms that presumably have given away my rights. I am going to need help to change whatever settings need changed. Unless your husband used a camera and developed those pictures himself your photos may be anywhere. If they are on a phone or computer you need to remove them. Nothing is private these days and people need to understand this.
Lemis · 08/02/2022 20:01

@LissyW if you want to do it for you then do it strictly on your terms. Take the photos yourself without your partner's involvement and keep them on YOUR phone. You could show him the photots but dont send them to him.

If he really is doing this for a feel good thing for you and is not selfishly setting it up to get something out of it then just seeing the photos and how good it makes you feel should be enough for him.

If he presses you on sending the photos over to him then there is your answer, he clearly wanted it for himself.

Original poster
LissyW · 08/02/2022 20:03

IminStealthMode. Thank you. You have made me feel better. Smile

OP posts:
Dontbeme · 08/02/2022 20:03

I'm surprised how many distrustful, mean-spirited, and downright cynical some of these replies are. I don't think all men are as deceitful, manipulative, and selfish as some of you clearly think

Maybe stop and think that some of us here have seen the absolute worst of men and the pain they inflicted on us, from up there on your high horse. That we have trusted honest, good and decent men who when the tide turned fucked us over at the first chance they got. Go ahead and have the photos taken if you want OP, or don't if you don't want but whatever you do decide, make that decision for you alone.

longcoffeebreak · 08/02/2022 20:07

I've done it - it was fun and erotic

Opentooffers · 08/02/2022 20:10

The pics are more for him, so the claim that it's to make you feel sexy doesn't really add up. Men are visual, looking at pics of SO doesn't quite have the same affect on women. However, if I were you, I'd suggest that he be the one to pose nude for you, because it's got to be more fun than him getting you to do it, and surely, if the point is for your fun, that way around makes more sense.
You see, it's an extension of believing that women are actually enjoying the porn they watch, women must like posing nude too. But at the very least, if you are doing it for him, he should do the same for you - quid pro quo applies here, otherwise it's all really for him and making out it's for your benefit is just BS.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 08/02/2022 20:12

I had a boudoir photo shoot done when younger and had no idea I was so sexy. Your DHs argument worked for me.

Lemis · 08/02/2022 20:15

@LissyW i mean i dont understand why you made this thread. You asked what we all thought and people are giving you their opinions in the situation not based of being "cycnical" but based of experienced. Do you not think alot of these women that gave their photos out for them to be publicised or shared trusted these men initially? Most women share their photos with bfs/husbands because they think they can trust them and then they betray that trust.

People arent saying dont do it.

People are questioning his motive as it seems to benefit him more than you.

What would make you feel more sexy?

A spa trip, Massage, if he ran you a bath, did the chores for the day, he looked after dc whilst you had a pamper session?

These all seem alot more honest ways of approaching your lack of feeling sexy.

You clearly want to do this as you seem set on it and only reply to people that are all for it

But just make sure you are doing this because its going to help YOU and only you, because presumably you will be the only one "dressing up erroticly

ImInStealthMode · 08/02/2022 20:31

I dont see how taking errotic photos for his satisfication is going to genuinely help you

And yet, numerous women in this thread who have done sexy photo shoots [in a controlled way, remaining in possession of their own photos] saying that it worked for them and made them feel good. Myself included.