Huaband wants to take 'sexy' photos of me.

[LissyW]

Hi everyone, first post... My husband has asked me if he can take some sexy photos of me. He says not pornographic, more erotic. I've said I'll think about it but I'm not sure how I feel about it, so I'm seeking opinions.
My libido, and our sex life, has taken a dip since out daughter was born. Not unusual. Husband says he wants to try to revive things and he thinks the erotic pictures might help to restore my confidence. I don't feel very sexy but he says, to him, I'm as sexy as I ever was. What do you think l. Should I?
Lissy x

I wouldn’t let anyone take pictures of me nude, or semi nude or in any overtly sexualised position. IF they get shared it can be life ruining.

If he just means pics in decent coverage undies or with good draping then that could be OK, but only if YOU actively want to, and I’d get a professional to do it w proper lighting etc

But really I can’t see why or how this will get your sex life back on track, so I would put this aside and focus on more direct routes,

I'd be very suspicious, personally. That he will trade the photos for others online. Don't do it.

I'm surprised how many distrustful, mean-spirited, and downright cynical some of these replies are.

Conversely, I am never surprised at how naive and blindly-trusting so many women are. Five minutes on MN is all it takes to see what your rose coloured glasses will get you.

@BlancheB

but I know men are more image-oriented

Hahaha and women aren't? I can't believe this rubbish is trotted out.Someone else said men are more visual, I couldn't disagree more. Women have eyes too you know and we like an attractive partner as much as the next person

Yep i also have erotic pics of my (male) partner that i took of him nude and looking gorgeous

No, with this being taken on a mobile, in the wrong hands, it will be catastrophic. It’s another form of objectivity I feel and honestly the grieve it potentially could bring is not worth it.

No way should you do this. Further down the line you cannot erase them. Tell him to treat you instead.

Jeez some of these replies are so dramatic!!

Most adults take photos and videos of each other naked or doing sexual acts.

Of course there is such thing as revenge porn but there’s also people who put secret cameras in public toilets, changing rooms and hotels, up skirting etc - which are just as common (if not more so) as revenge porn.

The issue comes when people send nudes or provocative photos to people they don’t know or barely know and it ends up getting spread on the internet.

If you don’t trust your partner enough to have a naked photo of you then you’re in the wrong relationship.
That doesn’t mean you have to do it if you don’t want to but many women find these things just as fun as men.

A boudoir shoot can be so much fun and you can get some good pics, just research fully for a nice professional one.

I think the fact you asked a question about this shows there's a big doubt in your mind. I think for me I would feel the photos might be sexy but a permanent reminder of the sexiness would be a bit weird, probably for all the reasons that other posters have suggested.

Perhaps do the photos together and have some sexy time but then get him to delete the pics afterwards.

My dp is a lovely man but after a couple of drinks presses the wrong keys on his phone A LOT!!!

Yuk. No from me

@ImInStealthMode i guess so. Personally if im not feeling the least big sexual doing sexual things will not help to make me feel more so or even remotely more into it or myself.

Some people need physical course of action and some people need a more emotional approach.

I myself know that feeling good in myself starts mentally rather than physically. Its kind of like when someone constantly compliments you when you arent feeling your best. The compliment will never change your mindset no matter if its true or not.

The act of my partner suggesting something selfless that is purely with the intentions of my self care and well being in mind is more likely to turn me on and make me feel diserable rather than hey babe get dolled up and take some pics for me.

But hey as you said, different strokes for different folks.

@WonderfulYou

"Most adults take photos and videos of each other naked or doing sexual acts."

Yes when both adults have a healthy sex drive going. But that is not the case here. Can you imagine if you had a newborn and you had made it clear your libido was low so your partners approach to that was to take photos. Its that process of thinking to me that seems completely off and self serving.

I wouldn't. Once those photos are taken you have zero control over where they go.

Nope

@WonderfulYou

Jeez some of these replies are so dramatic!!

Most adults take photos and videos of each other naked or doing sexual acts.

Of course there is such thing as revenge porn but there’s also people who put secret cameras in public toilets, changing rooms and hotels, up skirting etc - which are just as common (if not more so) as revenge porn.

The issue comes when people send nudes or provocative photos to people they don’t know or barely know and it ends up getting spread on the internet.

If you don’t trust your partner enough to have a naked photo of you then you’re in the wrong relationship.
That doesn’t mean you have to do it if you don’t want to but many women find these things just as fun as men.

I am a pretty relaxed person, but this is epically fucking naive. It’s incredibly easy to hit the wrong key on a phone. And a photo of you posing full face and full frontal is much more of an issue then a unidentifiable up skirt shot, or your blurry bum in a changing room.

Annoying though it is tech has revolutionised this part of life, and privacy isn’t what it was.

Nothing wrong with doing it, but you do need to whip the Rose tinted glasses off.

I definitely wouldn't. There's so many other things that you can do to revive your sex life. Anyone could get hold of the images.

@LissyW

Hi everyone, first post... My husband has asked me if he can take some sexy photos of me. He says not pornographic, more erotic. I've said I'll think about it but I'm not sure how I feel about it, so I'm seeking opinions. My libido, and our sex life, has taken a dip since out daughter was born. Not unusual. Husband says he wants to try to revive things and he thinks the erotic pictures might help to restore my confidence. I don't feel very sexy but he says, to him, I'm as sexy as I ever was. What do you think l. Should I? Lissy x

Well, if you're asking on here you're clearly not comfortable about it.

My answer would always be No.

You can't look into the future and you don't know what might happen with them

It's not like the old days with actual photographs, they'd be on his phone and it would be far too easy for something to happen.

I'm a bloke and it's a definite no. I just don't get why people put themselves in risk of being exploited like this.
Any number OLD sites have bogus contacts with pics clearly lifted from the internet.
Don't do it.

@WonderfulYou

Jeez some of these replies are so dramatic!!

Most adults take photos and videos of each other naked or doing sexual acts.

Of course there is such thing as revenge porn but there’s also people who put secret cameras in public toilets, changing rooms and hotels, up skirting etc - which are just as common (if not more so) as revenge porn.

The issue comes when people send nudes or provocative photos to people they don’t know or barely know and it ends up getting spread on the internet.

If you don’t trust your partner enough to have a naked photo of you then you’re in the wrong relationship.
That doesn’t mean you have to do it if you don’t want to but many women find these things just as fun as men.

Really? Most?

Evidence?

What is he doing to try and make you feel loved? I'd hate for someone to just say I'm sexy and to expect action

I wouldn't go it cos knowing my luck they would end up somewhere I didn't intend them to, accidentally or otherwise.

Is he a photographer because if not, he is unlikely to get the best angles, lighting etc. and it may not even work out as planned whereas the boudoir photography session is bound to be better and it also usually flatteringly sexy rather than random photo. They can also take them from angles where your face isn't fully identifiable.

Seperate to that, do you want to get your libido back? What do you think it might take? Are you willing to talk to GP etc?

I actually think it's good that your husband raised this and is doing it in a reasonable way rather than giving out about lack of sex etc.

Do you have much time alone? Date nights? Weekends away? Do you treat yourself well, if not it's difficult to feel sexy etc.

It's occurred to me after previous responses that the majority of respondents here seem to be automatically assuming that these pictures would be pornographic and life-ending should [likewise, assumed to be a when, not an if] they end up in the wrong hands.

My family (including Grandparents) have seen my boudoir photo shoot pictures and so have friends. They're not explicit, no more revealing than a bikini is, nor at all shocking.

They did make me feel great at the time though, and still do when looking at them now.

Likewise I've seen some that a close friend had done professionally that are proudly displayed on their bedroom wall. She looks a million bloody dollars in them.

Good god, no.

Give him a red leather thing, get your camera out and see how he feels.

@Ionlydomassiveones

"Most adults take photos and videos of each other naked or doing sexual acts."

Do they?

Yuk.