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Original poster

Argument at midnight NYE

215 replies

yan79 · 01/01/2022 00:51

Hi.
I’ve had a bottle of wine and fallen asleep before
Midnight.
Woke up by the kids at 12:06 (ages 9 & 14) to look at the fireworks (which I promised)
My other half was her (who I don’t live with) and he was awake. I said *** I’m a bit pissed off you didn’t wake me up at 12am for NYE for all of us really. (To say happy new year, to have a kiss, to say hi to the kids. To watch the fireworks)
He’s gone absolutely mad, said I was inappropriate, my fault I was asleep, why should he have to wake me up etc) he’s then proceeded to get up and leave (taxi home-6 miles
Away) when he first kicked off I told him I was recording him On my phone as I thought he was being over the top. Soon after that he stopped shouting, collected his things and left without saying a word.
I’ve lived in an abusive relationship for 15 years prior to this (I know the score). I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong for being pissed off and saying so to him. Or is he the one for shouting in front of the kids and blaming me then leaving?
I’m a bit marred due to the wine?

I’m so angry and upset.

Happy new year every one xx

OP posts:
Haggisfish3 · 01/01/2022 00:53

Tbh I wouldn’t have woken you up either. His reaction does seem ridiculous as well. At least he left rather than staying and it getting out of control.

bedheadedzombie · 01/01/2022 00:55

I think you are being overdramatic. So you said happy new year six minutes later. No big deal.

He shouldn't shout in front of your kids though.

Pollingbadly · 01/01/2022 00:55

If you say you're recording someone, what on earth do you expect?

Other than that it sounds very silly?

pinksquash13 · 01/01/2022 00:56

His reaction seems OTT but I would not have woken you up either (unless you'd asked). I would not be happy with my partner recording me during an argument.

Withnailandyou · 01/01/2022 00:56

The recording thing is very provoking

SheWolfOFFrancee · 01/01/2022 00:56

Unless specifically asked to wake you up I wouldn’t have woken you up either. I’m sure lots of people would be pissed off to be woken up at midnight if they hadn’t asked to be

I don’t think his reaction was great but I also think your response might have been a little over the top. You had a go at him and when he got cross back You recorded him? I’d have let too if my partner did that. Better he leave than it escalated

RussianSpy101 · 01/01/2022 00:58

I think you were both out of order tbh. I wouldn’t wake an adult just to give them a kiss and say happy new year.
You were only 6 minutes “late” anyway. Surely the children would’ve woken you prior to 12 if they were that bothered?

Your OH was unreasonable for kicking off. I think YABU to of filmed him too though, so it could be that.

HeddaGarbled · 01/01/2022 00:59

You are completely unreasonable. You drank a whole bottle of wine and passed out in an alcoholic mess when you’d promised your children you’d watch the fireworks with them, then blamed your completely blameless partner.

You let your children down because you have no control over your drinking. Then picked a fight you had no right to pick.

Sort yourself out.

Nostrings457 · 01/01/2022 00:59

He 100% should have woke you up, I would have been cross too. His reaction was OTT. Filming though is definitely provoking. Sounds like it’s a good job he left tbh before it escalated. You can see it out tomorrow with sober heads

user1471457751 · 01/01/2022 01:01

Unless you had asked to be woken up, I would have left you sleeping. While his response wasn't OK, I think the filming him was very provocative and he made the right decision to leave.

He shouldn't have shouted in front of the kids but then you shouldn't have told him you were pissed off with him in front of the kids. What reaction were you expecting when you spoke down to him in front of the kids? Him to beg forgiveness?

Yummypumpkin · 01/01/2022 01:01

Get some sleep. Sober out. Be prepared to apologise. We've all been there. Not your finest moment.

NeedsCharging · 01/01/2022 01:01

Frankly you both sound bad.
You fell asleep leaving him on his own with the kids which is fine but then you blame him and have ago because it's apparently his job to wake you up?
He then gets pussed off and shouts. He did the right thing by leaving.

Are you drunk or just tired?

Theunamedcat · 01/01/2022 01:02

How did you tell him you were a bit pissed off? Aggressive mildy stroppy laughing drunken sloppy?

Telling him you were filming did seem a protective act and it worked they buggered off without it escalating I would think long and hard and do some work on yourself maybe you have gone back into another abusive relationship

LucozadeGirl · 01/01/2022 01:02

Kind of your fault for falling asleep I think. Think you're both a bit in the wrong tbh

AnneLovesGilbert · 01/01/2022 01:02

Where had you gone to sleep after your bottle of wine? What were your kids doing? Probably a good job there was another adult there.

It’s not his fault you fell asleep, you could have set an alarm or not got so wasted, you didn’t have to escalate things by recording him. I don’t blame him for leaving tbh.

If you’ve been in an abusive relationship you’ll realise this is dysfunctional and it’s certainly not entirely his fault.

Do you usually drink a lot?

Opaljewel · 01/01/2022 01:04

I don't think he should have had to have woken you up. You could have set an alarm yourself? He probably did overreact. See how you both feel awake and sober in the morning.

jalopy · 01/01/2022 01:04

Totally agree with Hedda.

LowlyTheWorm · 01/01/2022 01:04

So your boyfriend who doesn’t live with you comes over to spend NYE with you and your children. You arse a bottle of wine and fall asleep- missing the Bells.
That’s somehow HIS fault? Nope. This is on you and he was right to leave.

EnrouteNOTonroute · 01/01/2022 01:05

Why did you film him? Can you see how that would inflame a situation? He is not your ex partner

saleorbouy · 01/01/2022 01:05

Why would he have to wake you up you're obviously tired or inebriated and perfectly able to keep yourself awake if the event is so important to you.
Waving a camera in his face isn't going to put him in the best of moods either, and it's a bit of a childish move aswell.
Go to bed and discuss with him tomorrow without the drink talking for either of you.
Happy new year....

MadameMinimes · 01/01/2022 01:06

I’m not sure why you had a go at him in the first place. You invited him over, drank a bottle of wine and fell asleep, leaving him awake with the kids.
I’m not surprised he was annoyed that you were pissed off with him when you woke up. The filming is also a big escalation. I think you left him little choice but to leave.

OrlandointheWilderness · 01/01/2022 01:06

Tbh I don't think you've covered yourself with glory here really.

Nekoness · 01/01/2022 01:06

“ You drank a whole bottle of wine and passed out in an alcoholic mess ”

Why are you making up shite? She didn’t pass out. She fell asleep.

I feel sleepy after a single half pint of beer and it will send me to sleep. I can drink half a bottle of wine and not feel tipsy.

Maybe she has a drinking problem, maybe she has a higher tolerance. But claiming someone passed out when you don’t know is ridiculous

NerrSnerr · 01/01/2022 01:07

It's a bit shit for you to fall asleep if he'd come over for NYE, especially as your children were up too.

If any of the argument was in front of the children you were both unreasonable.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 01/01/2022 01:08

Yeah you both sound like a pair of idiots. Hope the kids didn’t have to watch this little display from you both?