Argument at midnight NYE

[yan79]

Hi.
I’ve had a bottle of wine and fallen asleep before
Midnight.
Woke up by the kids at 12:06 (ages 9 & 14) to look at the fireworks (which I promised)
My other half was her (who I don’t live with) and he was awake. I said *** I’m a bit pissed off you didn’t wake me up at 12am for NYE for all of us really. (To say happy new year, to have a kiss, to say hi to the kids. To watch the fireworks)
He’s gone absolutely mad, said I was inappropriate, my fault I was asleep, why should he have to wake me up etc) he’s then proceeded to get up and leave (taxi home-6 miles
Away) when he first kicked off I told him I was recording him On my phone as I thought he was being over the top. Soon after that he stopped shouting, collected his things and left without saying a word.
I’ve lived in an abusive relationship for 15 years prior to this (I know the score). I just wanted to know if I was in the wrong for being pissed off and saying so to him. Or is he the one for shouting in front of the kids and blaming me then leaving?
I’m a bit marred due to the wine?

I’m so angry and upset.

Happy new year every one xx

Did you ask him specifically to wake you before midnight if you dozed off?

If not you can't be angry if you're left to sleep. He's not a mind reader.

I'd also be pissed off if DH told me he was recording me. I think it was right he left rather than staying and things escalating.

I personally think you need to apologise but maybe when you're sober

@HeddaGarbled

You are completely unreasonable. You drank a whole bottle of wine and passed out in an alcoholic mess when you’d promised your children you’d watch the fireworks with them, then blamed your completely blameless partner.

You let your children down because you have no control over your drinking. Then picked a fight you had no right to pick.

Sort yourself out.

this 👆

If you'd picked a fight with me and then recorded my reaction, I'd have shoved that phone where the sun don't shine.

Your children were up and awake, you fell asleep and he was what? Babysitter? He shouldn't have shouted and is immature for leaving but you failed your children and were blaming him for your guilt having not been there for them. You disappointed yourself and took it out in him. Your a parent- it's your responsibility.

You’re at fault here.

You dont come out of this looking good.

You fell asleep, leaving him to look after your children (who aren't his and he doesn't even live with you so he was doing you a nice favour).

You then bollocked him for not waking you up bang on midnight.

You then recorded his reaction.

Hopefully tomorrow you'll have sobered up and say sorry.

You missed the midnight promise you made your kids because you drank a bottle of wine and went to sleep, not because he did anything wrong.

Six of one and half a dozen of the other tbh.

Did your children see what went on?

As above.

@HeddaGarbled

You are completely unreasonable. You drank a whole bottle of wine and passed out in an alcoholic mess when you’d promised your children you’d watch the fireworks with them, then blamed your completely blameless partner.

You let your children down because you have no control over your drinking. Then picked a fight you had no right to pick.

Sort yourself out.

this.

Happy New Year

@youvegottenminuteslynn

You fell asleep, leaving him to look after your children (who aren't his and he doesn't even live with you so he was doing you a nice favour).

You then bollocked him for not waking you up bang on midnight.

You then recorded his reaction.

Hopefully tomorrow you'll have sobered up and say sorry.

You missed the midnight promise you made your kids because you drank a bottle of wine and went to sleep, not because he did anything wrong.

This exactly. It's not his responsibility to make sure you're awake. The recording thing actually makes you sound abusive - I would have left if my partner provoked a row and proceeded to record my reaction. Bang out of order.

I wouldn't wake someone who'd passed out fallen asleep after drinking a bottle of wine.

And I'd be out the door if that someone told me they were recording me during an argument. That feels intrusive and manipulative.

It does sound like he overreacted but I wonder how combative or forceful you were in expressing yourself, in view of the alcohol consumption.

I guess OP passed out again.

I'd be pretty angry if someone woke up and told me straight away they were pissed off with me, particularly if they had been drinking.
Not much of a fun evening for the kids with mum asleep.

I'd have been pissed off with you for falling asleep.

I’d say you were acting like a pathetic drunken child but unfortunately you have children involved in this mess.

I also fell asleep drunk and my boyfriend didn't wake me up. Woke up a few minutes past. I would have woken him up but I wasn't upset that he didn't wake me up. He did what he felt was right. Yabu

I don’t have a drink problem. I just nodded off. I was bored, he wasn’t talking I nodded off. I wasn’t unconscious, as I said I just nodded . Woke up to vic reeves singing. I didn’t wave a camera in his face I just said you’re being unreasonable by saying you’re leaving by saying I’m pissed off (a bit mad were my words) and him saying it was over because I said ‘why didn’t you wake me up at 12 because I’d nodded off’
He over reacts to everything (blaming me) which is the reason for me voice recording him to let him see I wasn’t shouting. He always blames me for every argument therefor I voice recorded him. (As I said, no waving a camera in his face) he’s also done this to me before.
It went like this.
Kids had tea about 7.
We had tea about 8,
Both drank a bottle of wine while kids were in bed.
They watched tv in bed and I said I’d come up at 12 for fireworks/ NYE celebrations.
I fell asleep,
He woke me up about 1130
I fell back to sleep with a cuddle on the sofa.
I woke up at 12:06 to my daughter asking to see fireworks.
I said ‘why didn’t you wake me up at 12?! It’s not a normal night and I’d like to have seen you all’
He said I was out of order and he was leaving and it was over between us as it’s just a normal night.
I let him go home.
Kids were upset (after having every year and new year ruined by their alcoholic father)

In between that he said I was unreasonable for saying I was was disappointed that he didn’t ‘try’ to wake me up. Then he said I was a disgrace and was getting a taxi.

I then watched the fireworks with my children (feeling ok, although after a drink, with the kids)

He left, got a taxi, kids went to bed upset (again) as he always blames me. I then posted on here

Fair enough. I appreciate all of your opinions.
I wasn’t too drunk. I would have woken him up to say HNY and be with his child. I guess I’m out of order. I don’t think so but a majority can’t be wrong. I just don’t see how it could have been so difficult for him to wake me up and say HNY.

Happy new year to you all. ☺️ Xx

I think you’ve been reasonable and applaud you for recording (as this showed him his behaviour was wrong and he stopped). I see where you’re coming from. You don’t let a guy get scary around you or your kids. You’ve built a strong boundary

Again?! It’s nye I’ve had a bottle of wine. This is not unusual.

Unfortunately the kids came down. This is what I’m upset about. I don’t want them to see this.

I never shouted. I just said ‘you could have woken me’
He said why should I, you fell asleep and shouted then left.

So he did wake you up only for you to fall asleep again?

And if your kids have suffered through having an alcoholic father, why on earth would you drink a bottle of wine when looking after them?

Too much booze changes people. Have a good night's sleep and start the New Year with a clear head.