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Original poster

7 days and he hasn't reached out

148 replies

Bluenew · 05/08/2021 11:33

There was no argument I just felt he was becoming a bit flakey so I stepped back a bit. It was nothing serious, only been dating for 4 months but I really liked him and I miss him lots today. Day 7 of me not contacting him - putting the ball in his court , hoping he would contact me but nothing Sad.

How long should I go no contact?
Is there usually a time they would reach out by?
Should I reach out to him? What should I say?

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 06/08/2021 15:01

Stop. Just stop. He’s not interested.

Original poster
Bluenew · 06/08/2021 15:07

@PanamaPattie stop what? I think some people are under the impression I'm harassing this man - I am not!

OP posts:
PanamaPattie · 06/08/2021 15:09

Stop thinking about him. Move on.

Purplepeople12 · 06/08/2021 15:41

I went to reply by saying definitely leave ot alone he'd have been in touch if he wanted blah blah blah, however, the fact that he's dealing with bereavement changes it and I'd probably reach out just to see if he's OK. He could be thinking that you're not being very sympathetic?

Anordinarymum · 06/08/2021 15:51

[quote Bluenew]@PanamaPattie stop what? I think some people are under the impression I'm harassing this man - I am not![/quote]
I'm amazed you have managed to keep this thread going for so long !

smileandsmilessooooo · 06/08/2021 16:01

Just message him saying that you've been thinking of him at this difficult time, but hadn't been in touch as you thought he might of needed space. Do you want to meet up for a chat/ coffee/ grab a pizza on xxx ?

Taliskerskye · 06/08/2021 16:02

@smileandsmilesomemorey
You’re just encouraging extending the pain further.
But yes op. Do this. Then in 6 months you’ll be back to sq one. If I haven’t name changed by then you can send me a PM with a fiver in it.

smileandsmilessooooo · 06/08/2021 16:30

@Taliskerskye the thing is he's bereaved I don't think it's the right time to get him to step up on the contact front, especially as he doesn't know anything about this. Only the OP knows the true situation. I do think by 4 months you either turn more serious or go your separate ways. If she asks him to meet on a certain day that's being assertive and he will either not reply or make a genuine excuse or ignore it with something vague. Then she's tried and she can walk away with her head held high that she didn't dump him when his Nan died, but it just didn't work out.

Taliskerskye · 06/08/2021 17:21

I have been bereaved and I reached out to those I needed near me.
Maybe he doesn’t work like that, which is AOK. It’s just not the type of relationship the OP wants.
She clearly wants someone like me (well who wouldn’t!!!) who wants to communicate, talk, have feelings about their own feelings grief, hurt, etc etc etc

It’s simply trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.

ParistoLondon · 07/08/2021 19:04

He's just not that bothered about you. Sorry, OP. He would've gotten in touch by now if he was truly interested.

Let him go. He's not worth it.

Original poster
Bluenew · 07/08/2021 20:25

To update - I contacted him today and he was talking very affectionate towards me and we have arranged a date to meet up.

OP posts:
PearlFriday · 07/08/2021 20:28

You allowed him to put you in abeyance for ten days and then you clearly communicated to him that that's OK WITH YOU.

VodselForDinner · 07/08/2021 20:34

@Bluenew

To update - I contacted him today and he was talking very affectionate towards me and we have arranged a date to meet up.
Why?
AnnaSW1 · 07/08/2021 20:35

More fool you

VenusSap · 07/08/2021 20:47

You need some self respect. More running around and effort from you.

smileandsmilessooooo · 07/08/2021 20:48

@Bluenew

To update - I contacted him today and he was talking very affectionate towards me and we have arranged a date to meet up.
What did say when you contacted him? Did he says anything about not being in touch. See what happens on your date and decide from there, just go into it remembering that he's been through a tough time but that you have been upset by him not contacting you.
RantyAunty · 07/08/2021 20:52

Well of course he was. He's after some sex.

Original poster
Bluenew · 07/08/2021 21:04

Folks this was not a serious long term relationship that had then broken up! This was just short term dating - not serious at all. And why should it always be down to the man? I didn't contact him either!

OP posts:
5475878237NC · 07/08/2021 21:05

You'll regret this. But we'll be here for you when you do.

dryasaboner · 07/08/2021 21:06

Why?

Original poster
Bluenew · 07/08/2021 21:06

What did say when you contacted him he was telling me all about his week and what hell it has been. Sounds like he's been through a hard time.

OP posts:
dryasaboner · 07/08/2021 21:07

@Bluenew

Folks this was not a serious long term relationship that had then broken up! This was just short term dating - not serious at all. And why should it always be down to the man? I didn't contact him either!
It doesn't but you were the one bleating how he wasn't giving you any signs of being interested
Original poster
Bluenew · 07/08/2021 21:07

You'll regret this. But we'll be here for you when you do Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluenew · 07/08/2021 21:09

You'll regret this. But we'll be here for you when you do hopefully I won't but it is possible.

This thread really got me through it guys. I felt absolute shit when I started this thread.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bluenew · 07/08/2021 21:17

It doesn't but you were the one bleating how he wasn't giving you any signs of being interested

Yes he could be showing more interest but it is early days.

OP posts: