Thanks ladies 

@Mix56 he was full of apologies when we were working through things but that slowly disappeared and now he's back to rolling his eyes and dismissing it if I ever counter his point about my affair destroying everything by pointing out his behaviour leading up to it!
@Cavagirl and @FoxgloveSummers, I have loads of support now, most of my immediate colleagues at work know (which is a good job as I am truly shocking at work at the moment 
) and lots of friends who are being amazing. I'm not going back to counselling at least for a good while as I don't want to throw money away when I don't know if I'll need it for court proceedings!
What's frustrating me is that he is completely denying that we had made an agreement re 6/14, and is making out like I'm throwing my toys out of the pram because he didn't 'roll over and immediately agree to what I wanted.' The whole pattern was his proposal and what he asked for, and I gave it to him!! Arghhh.
Re finances, yes I'm confident I have a clear picture of finances because we've often sat down and planned out the next few years (our mortgage would have been paid off in 3.5 years if I hadn't done this
), the only thing is that he's keen on agreeing a figure re house value that I think is a modest value. We had a few estate agent valuations and as usual they varied wildly but one of them was very firm that the figure my husband has proposed is at least 50k too cheap. But I've told him to put what he wants in his solicitors response and I will consider it in conjunction with the full contents of his response with advice from my solicitor.
You're all right, I need to just buckle up and accept court if that's where this takes us. 6/14 was the absolute maximum I was agreeing to, and that was one more night than I'd proposed to him, and there's absolutely no way im backing down. It's so annoying as he's making out like the extra night (it's a Sunday on the weekend he's with her) is in her best interests because it allows a full weekend with him, but in the same sentence he's arguing that it's only a bedtime that I'm missing out on so it has minimal impact on me and her. In reality it means she'd only come back to me Monday morning, have hardly any time to reconnect with me and then she'd be back with him on Tuesday. It's completely shit!! He's also made the argument that his family often has family dinners on Sunday night (not true) and this would allow her to attend 
rahhhhh.
I can't get Mumsnet to work on the browser btw, anyone else have this problem?! It's stopping me from linking a new thread, unless anyone knows if I can do it via the app instead?!