This just isn’t a fatal thing OP - or doesn’t have to be. My BF and I are at the ten month stage now and almost always very loved up and happy but we have had the odd little spat like this recently, from both sides, as we can both be needy fuckers!
A recent conversation we had during one such went more or less word for word like this.
Him: Why are you being like this? You always used to be no drama.
Me: Because I didn’t care about you so much then, so what you did didn’t really bother me. It’s different now.
Him: So you are saying you are being like this because now you have fallen in love with me?
Me: Yes. And I told you from the start, I was scared of falling in love because I knew it would make me vulnerable.
Him: Well, tell me about it. You and me both. This is why I did X on X occasion.....
Since this conversation (and a few similar ones) I feel that when we say we love each other now, it actually means a lot more. Because it now includes both a willingness to lay aside our pride and be open, and a tolerance and acceptance of each others’ insecurities and imperfections.
Rather than being some dramatic death knell, I think it is actually an opportunity for a growth and deepening of your relationship when you start to show each other your vulnerabilities and ragged edges. (We all have them). As long as you talk about it honestly and kindly, without flinging unnecessary blame, either at yourself, or the other person.....
OP, your relationship can’t progress if you are unwilling to deal with what has happened here. Obviously you can’t control his reaction. He might just say, well fuck you, you are too needy and I don’t want that. And then you will know that he is not the man for you.
But it’s also entirely possible he might see where you were coming from, even if you didn’t handle it great, and see that it came from a place of wanting to feel more secure in the relationship and spend more time with him.....
You won’t know until you try.
The honeymoon can’t last forever. You have to get beyond the forming stage, and get to the storming, where you both start to show your needs to each other, even if that isn’t always pretty or picture perfect. But it can lead to a deeper understanding, and a realer love.
If you get stuck at some point where you are pretending to be someone you are not forever, well, what’s the fucking point?
Been there, got the t-shirt. I wasted two years on a man who despised me for having needs and expectations of him, and made me feel like I was pathetic for that. I tried so hard to wrench my soul out of shape in order to be this cool, non-demanding creature he wanted me to be. A) couldn’t do it and B) why would I even want to?
A man whose worth it will love you for exactly who you are, faults and weaknesses and all.....