Partner used to use escorts...

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

Deal breaker for you or not....

@KeepWashingThoseHands

Listen to Why Men Pay for Sex, 30 mins BBC podcast. All the men interviewed have specifics reasons for visiting - all admitted they knew the women didn’t enjoy it, several knew the women were drug addicts. It includes women working in legal brothels in Amsterdam, as well as others.

You can read UK punting reviews and the sane emerges : they are often award the prostitute is reluctant, uncomfortable, does not really want yo be doing it.

They are sometimes aware she is an addict.

They are aware they are pimped .. and refer jokingly to "Sergei".

They are aware they are from poor countries with no or little welfare and often don't have visas for the UK.

The standard nationality for prostitutes on adult work is Romanian, Hungarian, Brazilian in that order. Some Asian women.

Have a look at conditions in any of those countries.

Some adultwork reviews describe force towards prostitutes who do not perform.to their spec. Inc trying to make intercourse (that is presumably uncomfortable or painful) shallower.

They describe women in terms of;

Height
Figure
Breasts
Buttocks
Vaginal tightness
Sexual performance
Attitude to punter.

That is all.

*Some adultwork reviews describe force towards prostitutes who do not perform.to their spec. Inc trying to make intercourse (that is presumably uncomfortable or painful) shallower.

In case that wasn't clear - the men describe using force against prostitutes who are trying to make intercourse shallower, presumably because it is uncomfortable.

It is also obvious that it becomes a sport/sweetie shop/sampling experience for many of them.

@Sarafox22

His is a dog. My boyfriend tried to fuck his employee, so I let him fuk escort, we made a deal. But I choose the girls and he doesn't have the right to fu* without me knowing it.

If this is real, you need psychological help (and a new boyfriend).

Actually - no boyfriend, til you've had several years of the psychological help.

*Some adultwork reviews - sorry, I meant UK punting reviews. I'm not sure if there are reviews on adultwork or not.

I've also seen it stated by a man describing himself as older, that he still uses young prostitutes because of their bodies/the experience but that he mostly uses older prostitutes (that means 30s, 40s etc) because they either have less aversion to him or can hide their aversion to him better than the young women.

That man knows those young women are forcing themselves to tolerate every second, and many of them have pimps who may or may not get involved in the arrangements. Do you really think they can't imagine those pimps aren't controlling the prostitutes to some extent .. that they'd be free to not work, or free to walk away of they wanted? Those guys are often gang members and are dangerous.

Back on the main topic;

Op, his past use of prostitutes sounds like one of many scummy things he's done that mark him as not relationship material.

It sounds like you need to get rid fir your sanity (and safety) and the welfare of your kids.

You say you didn’t make the assumption but I did lol try another joke
Yep you actually DID make the assumption ... your words ‘where men go to access sexual activity IN THE ABSENCE of a mutually satisfying relationship
Please show me exactly WHERE I said men who use prostitutes do so because they lack access to sexually satisfying relationships ???? I guess you’ll need to completely ignore ore the fact I stressed that this is not the case and that most men using prostitutes don’t care less whether they have partners or access to sex as they see women as vaginas to be purchased

@Countingthebeat if you could step beyond your anger and utilise some punctuation I would be far more inclined to respond to your points, which come across as no more than a rant. We are on the same side!

Hmmmm if he was doing it frequently as a way of life then yes it would be a deal breaker, because I’d know that directly our relationship hit a dry patch his habitual tendencies would send him straight back to a prostitute.

If he visited a prostitute once on a stag do in 2006 then no, that wouldn’t be an issue.

Haven't RTFT but oh yes, absolutely a deal breaker.

Dealbreaker.

OP hasn't yet returned though.

Are you perhaps a bloke OP, who is considering whether to tell his SO he used to use escorts? And is wondering how it might be received?

Nope. Three exes had. Doesn’t bother me. Sex work is work.

@LavenderLollies prepare to be barraged with abuse for that comment, even though you are absolutely within your rights to make it.

@LavenderLollies

Nope. Three exes had. Doesn’t bother me. Sex work is work.

Exes.

How surprising.

Prostitutes have commented on here before and most seemed to say "once a punter, always a punter". They'll be showing pictures of their attractive wife/partner to the prostitute, almost showing her off like "look I'm not pathetic, I can get a woman, and s good looking one at that" but the lure of novelty, variety and the dynamics of a "punt" are always there.

Total deal beaker for me.

Playing Devils Advocate here....are we actually saying this man should now
I'm not saying that but I don't want to be with one that thought it was ok to use escorts.

Oh and sex work is not just work.

That's why the industry is saturated with exploitation, trafficking, coercion and drug abuse.

If several women in varying jobs were abducted and murdered in Ipswich like they were .... Where the chance of 100% of them.bejng drug addicts?

Yet all those young women working as prostitutes were : what a bizarre coincidence.

(what's the chance).

And the vast majority of prostitutes reviewed on UK punting are identified by the punters as being from Romania, Hungary, Brazil and "Asia". Funny how those countries (and the areas of Asia that prostitutes typically hail from) are economically deprived, have human rights abuses and often have significant organised crime with gangs who run prostitutes ..
Another bizarre coincidence.

The punters specifically mention it if the prostitute speaks half way decent English - because it's the exception to the rule. Many speak none/next to.none and that's mentioned by many punters .... What do you think those young women's employment prospects are in that case, in the UK?

(Taking aside that the pimps the punters jokingly generically refer to as "Sergei" are making sure they have no other employment prospects too).

The mantra sex work is work is supposed to destigmatize women who've ended up working in sex work, not excuse punters (and blindly ignore the endemic problems within prostitution).

I actually think men paying for some sort of sex is not as uncommon as you would think. Especially as a one off, experimentation type thing, or on a 'lad's holiday' in Amsterdam.... or something similar.

Do you all walk round with rose tinted glasses on?

There was a bloke years ago that I knew from a sports group. He was quite fun and a nice to be around.On one occasion he mentioned he went with prostitutes. This was probably about 28 years ago now and I still remember my feelings turn cold on him. I lost all respect there and then. Even after all this time when I see him around I feel disgust.
I couldn't stand being with a partner who did this. Instant relationship killer.

@Tillymintsmama

I actually think men paying for some sort of sex is not as uncommon as you would think. Especially as a one off, experimentation type thing, or on a 'lad's holiday' in Amsterdam.... or something similar.

Do you all walk round with rose tinted glasses on?

It's very common. Misogyny is very common. Sexual assault is very common. Sexual harassment is very common.

'All my friends are doing it' isn't an effective excuse for 5 yo children, never mind grown men.