Partner used to use escorts...

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

Deal breaker for you or not....

I'm a bit taken aback at the idea that people (or just men?) who have lots of consensual casual sex are 'worse' than men who pay for sex. In terms of their character and risk of STDs (note tests are available).

That's really weird. Not heard that opinion before!

@NiceGerbil

I'm a bit taken aback at the idea that people (or just men?) who have lots of consensual casual sex are 'worse' than men who pay for sex. In terms of their character and risk of STDs (note tests are available).

That's really weird. Not heard that opinion before!

Because some people just think having lots of sex is bad and that the act of sexual itself is nasty . Also they don’t care less about the abuses of women in the sex industry or that consent cannot be bought Basically it comes down to a lack of ignorance and education and of course good old fashioned women hating mysogyny

That really is a view that sees the women as... Nothing then.

How can it possibly be better to pay for 50 different women to fuck than have consensual sex with 50? It's bonkers.

@MissTrip82 seriously, lose the sanctimonious tone. It was a reasonable question, and this a forum to exchange thoughts and ideas.

Sanctimonious tone?

Seriously?

In response to this:

'Playing Devils Advocate here....are we actually saying this man should now be denied a relationship forever?'

Which is a really silly post.

By what mechanism?
Will women talking about an unidentified man on mumsnet somehow make him undateable?
Denied a relationship? Well by that posters own argument paying for sex is much better in every way than having consensual sex with women which can happen when you're in the market for a relationship...

The idea that lots of women on this thread saying nope is somehow cruel to men who pay for sex... 'denying' them a relationship!!

That's not devil's advocate it's extreme hyperbole

Actually, it’s not hyperbole at all, and I would suggest you place it in the overall context of this post which has elicited several different viewpoints, as well as the usual nastiness and patronising comments. I clearly don’t know the specific man so was not discussing HIM per se. I was musing on the wider question, unpalatable as is it is, of where men go to access sexual activity in the absence of a mutually satisfying relationship. This is a pressing and real problem, and not a “silly” comment.

How is this thread going to result in men who pay for sex being 'denied' a relationship for the rest of their lives?

'I was musing on the wider question, unpalatable as is it is, of where men go to access sexual activity in the absence of a mutually satisfying relationship. This is a pressing and real problem, and not a “silly” comment.'

Why is it unpalatable?
Why is it a pressing and real question?
Why is it no good for men to have casual sex if they want sex, but fine to pay for it?
And given loads of people who aren't having sex don't pay and have a wank instead etc. Why is your focus on sex with another person? As if it's a must.

I didn’t say it would.

Your hypothetical.

I am happy to answer if you expand on your thoughts a bit more.

In answer to your points:

Of course it is unpalatable that men will seek out extreme or socially undesirable avenues to access sex. This shouldn’t need explaining.

It is a pressing and real question because it happens, hence this post.

I made no comment whatsoever about casual sex.

A lot of men are not satisfied with masturbation alone and need ever increasing stimuli. Just to be clear, and to avoid ANY confusion, I am not supportive of any of this.

Ah sorry I misunderstood.

''I was musing on the wider question, unpalatable as is it is, of where men go to access sexual activity in the absence of a mutually satisfying relationship'

'Of course it is unpalatable that men will seek out extreme or socially undesirable avenues to access sex. '

Are you talking about rape? I'd like to make sure I'm clear on your point.

Apologies for the casual sex point- I did mix you up with another poster. Apologies.

His is a dog. My boyfriend tried to fuck his employee, so I let him fuk escort, we made a deal. But I choose the girls and he doesn't have the right to fu* without me knowing it.

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Actually, it’s not hyperbole at all, and I would suggest you place it in the overall context of this post which has elicited several different viewpoints, as well as the usual nastiness and patronising comments. I clearly don’t know the specific man so was not discussing HIM per se. I was musing on the wider question, unpalatable as is it is, of where men go to access sexual activity in the absence of a mutually satisfying relationship. This is a pressing and real problem, and not a “silly” comment.

The reality is that many men in satisfying sexual relationship still use prostitures . The fact is some men are never satisfied and see women as things to be purchased or used however they can Why assume all men using prostitutes are doing it because they are somehow poor little things denied sexual satisfaction. ?

Oh no. Definitely a deal breaker. Just awful. He paid young women for sex. Sorry no

used to? if he did once he will do again

Listen to Why Men Pay for Sex, 30 mins BBC podcast. All the men interviewed have specifics reasons for visiting - all admitted they knew the women didn’t enjoy it, several knew the women were drug addicts. It includes women working in legal brothels in Amsterdam, as well as others.

@RoseRedRoseBlue it's not really playing Devil's advocate because no one has the power to stop a man from having a relationship with everyone. The OP is asking if it's a personal dealbreaker, other women can make their own mind's up, but yes any man who I find out has paid for sex is banned from having a relationship with me, and I imagine lots more women, if it stops every woman he ever meets wanting a relationship with him...then tough? (I doubt it though as he will either lie or meet someone ignorant to what prostitution actually means, as we see there are plenty of those too).

For me the prostitute using does depend on the circumstances. 2-3 decades ago we didn't talk as much about consent, it wasn't in the media as far as I can remember and we didn't have the internet to educate ourselves. I know several men who used a prostitute decades ago when they themselves were a teen, but they would never do so now, now that they understand why it's wrong. I can forgive that.

@Sarafox22

His is a dog. My boyfriend tried to fuck his employee, so I let him fuk escort, we made a deal. But I choose the girls and he doesn't have the right to fu* without me knowing it.

Say what now? You help your boyfriend source prostituted women to abuse?

@Sarafox22

His is a dog. My boyfriend tried to fuck his employee, so I let him fuk escort, we made a deal. But I choose the girls and he doesn't have the right to fu* without me knowing it.

How odd.

But I'd have more of an issue with those men who have had multiple ONS, often dozens, and think this is more of a negative character trait than the person paying. And certainly, more dangerous to sexual health.

The ons's would (presumably) involve consent, unpaid consent, real consent . With women who are not likely to be coerced, addicted, from impoverished countries etc etc.

On the STDs front, some prostitutes have intercourse without condoms, lots have oral sex without condoms. Lots receive oral sex without dental dams. Some perform analingus without protection.

Some STDs are spread even with condoms.

A ONS person may have sex with multiple partners around the same time, a prostitute is almost certain to have sex with multiple partners around the same time.

And they'd be having sex with the next punter before any symptoms could emerge and be treated.

@Countingthebeat I didn’t make that assumption. You just did though.

@NiceGerbil I am talking about anything of that nature - rape, extreme pornography, any activity where true consent is lacking.