Partner used to use escorts...

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

Deal breaker for you or not....

"are we actually saying this man should now be denied a relationship forever?"

Stupid strawman question but:
Hypothetically- with me personally, yes he would be. But obviously not with a woman who didn't think it was a dealbreaker.

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Playing Devils Advocate here....are we actually saying this man should now be denied a relationship forever?

I wouldn't say that. People change over time, they see things differently to how they did when younger. He was silly to tell her or anyone.

What can happen is it becomes a habit, a sort of 'naughty' secret vice that is constantly tempting.

It all depends on the individual man, the op knows him, we don't.

‼️DEALBREAKER‼️

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Playing Devils Advocate here....are we actually saying this man should now be denied a relationship forever?

Yes.

Ps. Don’t ever play devils advocate for man/men, that is the fastest way for you to get played.

Total dealbreaker for me as well

The word escort is such a nonsense. He paid women for sex. Not to sit in a hotel bar with him. Would I be happy to be with a man who used prostitutes? No.

I find this an interesting discussion as a friend of mine married a man who worked offshore and had ONLY ever used escorts prior to meeting her. They live together here in a very normal life, kids etc now and i remember her being being disgusted when she was dating him early on and found out she was his first non escort partner but they stayed together. He always comes across well, great dad etc, decent husband.

Yes deal breaker for me. Crosses a line.

Total deal breaker. Get rid.

Yes

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Playing Devils Advocate here....are we actually saying this man should now be denied a relationship forever?

The question was regarding one's own boundaries @roseredroseblue

One's own boundaries are not a commentary on whether or not he should be denied a relationship forever. Futhermore, his future relationship status is not our concern nor our responsibility. I'm sure he's be able to find a woman one day capable of overlooking his prostitute visits.

@MsDogLady

OP, weren’t these women supplied by his drug dealer?

Why is this monster still your partner?

In your last thread you vowed that you were finally done with him. He is a violent abuser who sexually assaults you. He had already started moving his things out of your house, and you and your daughters were moving out this month.

What happened?

And to answer your question: Previous use of escorts would absolutely be a dealbreaker.

@MsDogLady

Ouch. If this is true, then OP, ask yourself if a healthy relationship full of love, light and respect contains these words -

Prostitutes
Drug dealer
Sexual Assault

Those a pretty dark words.

I'm really hoping this is a hypothetical question and you have removed the man you've spoken about on here for months from you and your children's lives? However based on the previous threads I'm sure this is about the same man and you're either still with him or in regular contact with him.

He is disgusting and abusive. You at this point (if you haven't cut all ties with him completely) are allowing a violent and abusive man to be around your kids. He was living with you all. You said they were sad. He was sexually assaulting you regularly. If you're still in contact with him then you need to go no contact.

If you're still in a relationship with him then I'm sorry but at this point you're being cruel to your children by choosing to have him in your life. You are also showing incredibly poor judgement and decision making. I understand you've been abused by him and that's awful. You have had times where you could cut him off. Your kids have no choice in this. I feel so so so bad for them, poor little things.

he used to be a coke head and his last relationship ended due to him picking females from his dealer to have sex with for a fee.

I'm so so so unhappy. Beyond unhappy. This man has ruined me

He was to go to prison 9 months ago for assault, criminal damage and coersion. I changed my statement. We got back together.

Do the right thing. End it. Move on. Get counselling to avoid bringing another abuser into your children's lives at all, let alone their home.

I realised your title says 'partner' so you have stayed with him as I suspected. Gutting. Especially for your children. He isn't a partner. He's a sexual abusive ex cokehead (doubtful he's stopped) who nearly went to prison for abusing you and used to pick out women to pay to fuck, via his drug dealer.

He didn't know if the women were coerced / abused / trafficked. He didn't care.

This man hates women. He hates you.

And anyone would hate that there are children who have had to live with this dynamic. I despair.

Hard no.

No decent man does.

Consent can't be bought.

I think a guy who was a regular punter, tends to stay a punter. It's a habit they don't tend to give up.

I wouldn't trust him not to continue to use prostitutes.

Also, unless his attitude to women and sex has undergone a massive sea-change, it's pretty misogynistic and not something I would want in a partner.

Thanks for replies everyone - just to be clear, I wasn’t playing Devils Advocate for a man, as one poster suggested. I was just keen to hear views.

Sorry @RoseRedRoseBlue I realise you aren't the OP now, I misread your second message completely! Apologies!

Deal breaker.

Deal breaker. I could never respect any man who bought a woman's body.

Not, and I dated someone who did and has continued to do so after me.

It's a service. He paid for it. Ultimately, no different to paying for any "health" service, just that there's a stigma attached to it.

I didn't like the concept that there could be vulnerable women who were taken advantage of, but I'm not sure this was the case given these were deemed as high class, who claimed expenses etc, often travel the world etc with their clients. But I may have felt differently to say a kerb crawler prostitute user.

Yes, because it's one of those things that tells you a lot about him, it's not just something he's done but something he is. An exploitative creep.

It's a service. He paid for it. Ultimately, no different to paying for any "health" service, just that there's a stigma attached to it.

A health service?!

There is stigma attached to it because it is an industry that perpetuates the abuse, degradation and trafficking of females.

And because it's an industry that thrives on the idea consent can be bought.

Punters, whether using 'high class escorts' or other ones, cannot possibly know if that woman has been coerced, abused, threatened, has a pimp making her do things she absolutely doesn't want to etc.

Punters can't know if that woman has is going through any of that, and they are willing to run the risk to fuck someone for money.

It's fucking gross. Punters of any type do not respect or value women and do not see them as equals.

@YouSingIt

Deal breaker. I could never respect any man who bought a woman's body.

But I'd have more of an issue with those men who have had multiple ONS, often dozens, and think this is more of a negative character trait than the person paying. And certainly, more dangerous to sexual health.