Partner used to use escorts...

[iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto]

Deal breaker for you or not....

@jessstan2

They would surely know if they booked the escort from an advertisement.

How? How do they know who wrote the ad? Who manages bookings? Whether they live with a partner who has convinced them this is the only way to keep afloat? Whether they were abused in younger years and believe they have no options but to be sex workers as their self confidence and self image was damaged? Whether they've had punters show up and rape them before? If they have issues with drugs and so are desperate for a fix? You've said yourself your kids would never be desperate for money and do that - so it's ok that other people's daughters are in that situation and men are happy to pay to have sex with them knowing they are 'desperate' for money as you said?

They can't know. They are willing to run the risk. That's the point.

Do you think that's something a man with any decency or respect for women would risk being complicit in?

@iwanteggfriedricefuckingpronto

Deal breaker for you or not....

Why are you asking?

What say you, op ?

You could be right, YouvegottenminutesLynn. It's a sordid business.

Not at all a deal breaker for me... Wouldn't say I am surprised to see how rare that is, but I reckon some of you would be in for a shock if you knew the truth about exactly which men in your lives (not just partners and husbands) had or have paid for sex

@DaphneBridgerton you are very correct.

Can your kids go and live somewhere better whilst you prioritise the druggie scum over them? Are they on the radar of social services yet? I hope so.

@DaphneBridgerton whether that's true or not it wouldn't change my opinion. Just because something is supposedly common doesn't make it right.

@changingnames786 I agree with you there. Everyone is entitled to their own moral standards and deal-breakers. Its just the sheer number of responses that makes me wonder if everyone knows the truth about their partner/husband... I assume not given how huge the industry actually is. I have been paid for sex myself, so perhaps I'm more cynical and I'm sure most would think my opinion doesn't count anyway!

Dealbreaker for me. I’d get rid. I’d want to know before I slept with a prospective partner if they had ever slept with a prostitute. I’d think they were such a loser. And as other posters have said upthread, I also wouldn’t want to date someone who had slept around or had multiple ONS either. I want to date people who’s sexual values and compatibility align with my own otherwise it’s just going to cause tears further down the relationship.

Once they’ve crossed that line to sleep with prostitutes, its much easier for them to cross it again and again.

Even if the women were 100% into what they were doing, it would still be a dealbreaker because men who visit prostitutes, rarely stop. It tends to be a lifelong habit. That's before going into any of the nuances of the situation eg his view that women are walking vagina's that can be hired.

I don't know your history but if as others are saying, he's been sexually assaulting you and is in other ways abusive, I would get away from the piece of shit and do what I could to keep away.

I think going to visit escorts in hotels, wining and dining, then going to bed, could well be habit forming and that is seriously dangerous.

@Carbara

Can your kids go and live somewhere better whilst you prioritise the druggie scum over them? Are they on the radar of social services yet? I hope so.

To whom was this addressed? I've not seen posts from anyone talking about their children or drugs.

@youvegottenminuteslynn

I'm really hoping this is a hypothetical question and you have removed the man you've spoken about on here for months from you and your children's lives? However based on the previous threads I'm sure this is about the same man and you're either still with him or in regular contact with him.

He is disgusting and abusive. You at this point (if you haven't cut all ties with him completely) are allowing a violent and abusive man to be around your kids. He was living with you all. You said they were sad. He was sexually assaulting you regularly. If you're still in contact with him then you need to go no contact.

If you're still in a relationship with him then I'm sorry but at this point you're being cruel to your children by choosing to have him in your life. You are also showing incredibly poor judgement and decision making. I understand you've been abused by him and that's awful. You have had times where you could cut him off. Your kids have no choice in this. I feel so so so bad for them, poor little things.

he used to be a coke head and his last relationship ended due to him picking females from his dealer to have sex with for a fee.

I'm so so so unhappy. Beyond unhappy. This man has ruined me

He was to go to prison 9 months ago for assault, criminal damage and coersion. I changed my statement. We got back together.

Do the right thing. End it. Move on. Get counselling to avoid bringing another abuser into your children's lives at all, let alone their home.

@jessstan2, I think it was after reading this post.

Yes. I could not contemplate a relationship with someone who exploited a woman for prostitution. Please don't dress it up as escorts.

Maybe the op is talking about a recent man after she got rid of the violent one, and having dealt with a deadbeat needs advice on what is acceptable with a new man before she goes any further.

I think this is far more common than we all realise. Most men would never admit to it because of social stigma. Once you know they’ve crossed that line though, it’s a dealbreaker.

I've worked with sex workers in more than one country for more than one decade.

If you said OK, we'll allow prostitution if the workers:

Aren't addicted
Aren't coerced
Aren't survivors of abuse or neglect
Didn't start before 18 years old
Aren't desperate for money
Aren't trafficked
Aren't in danger of any sort
Have other options to work (eg have citizenship rights, childcare etc.)
Enjoy the work

Exactly how many prostitutes do you think would be left? I've never met one and I'm willing to bet I've met more sex workers than most people on here. Actually possibly I've met one, although she was a dominatrix who didn't have sex with clients. And I think her childhood wasn't ideal.

@DaphneBridgerton

Not at all a deal breaker for me... Wouldn't say I am surprised to see how rare that is, but I reckon some of you would be in for a shock if you knew the truth about exactly which men in your lives (not just partners and husbands) had or have paid for sex

I absolutely agree. Far more common place than many realise.

This is essentially paying to rape a woman so absolutely a deal breaker

Does it being commonplace make it better or a whole lot fucking worse?

I really hope none of the men I know have because I would hate them with the depths of my soul.

It's not 'commonplace'.

Older men did not go on those sort of bloke breaks. They didn't really exist years ago.
Plenty of men are pretty shy.
Plenty of men like to have sex with women they know and like.
Plenty of men find the whole thing seedy desperate and grim.
The OP says he used to hire escorts. Not a one off on a stag etc but a thing he did generally. No way is that commonplace.

I have had two men I knew, when drunk, 'confess' about paying for sex on hols. Telling me a sob story as to why they had no choice...?! Looking for absolution.

I didn't give it.

[quote youvegottenminuteslynn]**@BusyLizzie61

You didn't just say you'd have an issue with someone who had multiple ONS.

You said you'd have more of an issue with someone who had multiple ONS than with someone who pays for sex with women when they can't know anything for sure about the welfare of that woman.

I'm not sure why you don't understand people find that a pretty shocking point of view? [/quote]
@BusyLizzie61
Exactly THIS
Also not sure why you think sex worker can be seperate and defined into groups such as kerb crawlers
You sound like a huge mysogynist... and yes women can be mysogynists

@RoseRedRoseBlue

Playing Devils Advocate here....are we actually saying this man should now be denied a relationship forever?

Amazing how often someone feels the need to be a devil’s advocate on threads about exploitation of women or children.

Not on other things.

Just this.

Weird.