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Original poster

Phrases that make you swipe left

423 replies

JimmyJabs · 07/02/2021 17:26

I'm a glutton for punishment, so I've recently gone back on OLD, and I'm finding it something of a trial so far. All the things that used to annoy me about people's profiles are still exactly the same as when I was last doing this! These are my instant nope phrases:

My kids are my life (so where would a potential girlfriend fit in? Also, that's just basic parenting...)

I don't take myself/life too seriously (almost guaranteed to be immature and flaky, and leave all the boring life admin to some other sucker)

Not looking for a penpal (will exchange a maximum of 5 messages with you before suggesting that you meet up for 'fun 😉')

Is anyone genuine on here? (Dude, maybe don't advertise the fact that nobody ever replies to you)

I'm 6ft, because apparently that matters (while being short is not unattractive to me, passive aggression certainly is)

What are your instantly offputting phrases? I'd be intrigued to know what men have to say about this too, in case I'm being inadvertently annoying myself...

OP posts:
Hangingover · 07/02/2021 21:23

"looking for a partner in crime"

Code for "fuckboy"

Graphista · 07/02/2021 21:26

I'm happily single but I do find these threads amusing. I'm also bisexual so while I can't answer as to the equivalents that turn off men, I can tell you what women tend to put that I find off putting

"No pillow princesses" - because that's my role as I'm lazy and cba to make the effort

"No drama queens" basically same as het, indicates they're likely to have been the CAUSE of said "drama"

"Open minded" - incapable of monogamy! But expect fidelity in return!

"No bisexuals" don't even get me started!

"Nobody with shares in Pickfords" this one is actually quite funny and accurate but it's kinda overplayed now.

"Good friends with all my exes still" - incapable of moving on and will shag one of them every time you argue

"Likes a drink/to party" again ditto with het likely to indicate addiction issues, sometimes accompanied by "no party poopers" which generally means they will kick off if you DARE to raise the issue.

Women are just as capable of being flaky, controlling, unfaithful, demanding, cloying, selfish etc

Notenoughsleeplastnight · 07/02/2021 21:38

What are pillow princesses and the pickford's joke?

RedWhineandgo · 07/02/2021 21:48

Isn't Pickfords a removal firm?

skybright59 · 07/02/2021 21:50

@poppyzbrite4

Looking for someone to build an Empire with - I'm a coke dealer

Looking for a partner in crime - Wear a coat with big pockets

WHY DON'T WOMEN LIKE NICE MEN!!! - I'm an incel.

Boneheads probably
skybright59 · 07/02/2021 21:52

@Graphista

I'm happily single but I do find these threads amusing. I'm also bisexual so while I can't answer as to the equivalents that turn off men, I can tell you what women tend to put that I find off putting

"No pillow princesses" - because that's my role as I'm lazy and cba to make the effort

"No drama queens" basically same as het, indicates they're likely to have been the CAUSE of said "drama"

"Open minded" - incapable of monogamy! But expect fidelity in return!

"No bisexuals" don't even get me started!

"Nobody with shares in Pickfords" this one is actually quite funny and accurate but it's kinda overplayed now.

"Good friends with all my exes still" - incapable of moving on and will shag one of them every time you argue

"Likes a drink/to party" again ditto with het likely to indicate addiction issues, sometimes accompanied by "no party poopers" which generally means they will kick off if you DARE to raise the issue.

Women are just as capable of being flaky, controlling, unfaithful, demanding, cloying, selfish etc

What in the heck is a pillow princess? Seriously? I'm really starting to go off men for real now.
Pippin2028 · 07/02/2021 21:52

'Honest and Genuine guy' Anyone who has to tell you this is neither of those things

ColdBrightClearMorning · 07/02/2021 21:54

“I love all music”

“Don’t take life too seriously”

Otterhound · 07/02/2021 22:11

The first 4 in ops list apply equally to female profiles

Others
‘Looking for a knight in shining armour’....
Means I watch too much Disney and expect you to pay for absolutely everything because you know, I’m worth it

‘ don’t even message me if you’re under 6ft’
and get then annoyed when you tell them at 5ft 2 they are too short

‘I’m a fun loving bubbly party girl’
I’m an alcoholic who has to be the centre of attention and becomes a drunk embarrassing mess at parties

Then theres the stupid bunny ear filters, group shots of 4 friends and you desperately hope its hot one on the right,
Drinking, smoking or the ubiquitous selfie, taken side on, above head height, looking up a the camera with a pout as the camera looks down your cleavage.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 07/02/2021 22:18

A pillow princess is a woman who's passive in bed and likes to have things done to her but doesn't really reciprocate.

Changi · 07/02/2021 22:23

Isn't Pickfords a removal firm?

Necessary for somebody with a lot of baggage.

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 07/02/2021 22:28

@Changi

Isn't Pickfords a removal firm?

Necessary for somebody with a lot of baggage.

Ah, thank you. That one was too subtle for me. I thought maybe it was a joke about nobody being able to go anywhere right now...
ELIZA8ETH · 07/02/2021 22:31

Looking for a lady to spoil

No time wasters

AndeanMountainCat · 07/02/2021 22:32

Easygoing.

Translation: I will do anything my mum/mates tell me to do. Also I have no spine.

CarolVordermansBum · 07/02/2021 22:33

I once saw a man's bio that said in it

'it's not the size of the boat that counts, it's the motion of the ocean'

I wonder if he had a micro penis?

ScabbyHorse · 07/02/2021 22:44

I saw my ex's OLD profile (unfortunately and unexpectedly) and he had written a whole list of things he found unattractive in women, fake nails, tan etc. He had also lied about his hair colour and eye colour bizarrely, although I think he was deluded and in denial about his actual appearance.

Fairycake2 · 07/02/2021 22:47

I'm currently taking a break from OLD and these remind me why 😂

Hate that everyone is a Managing Director too. As if!

GeordieGreigsButtButtZoom · 07/02/2021 22:56

@ScabbyHorse

I saw my ex's OLD profile (unfortunately and unexpectedly) and he had written a whole list of things he found unattractive in women, fake nails, tan etc. He had also lied about his hair colour and eye colour bizarrely, although I think he was deluded and in denial about his actual appearance.
I think I'll join the queue.
silverspoons · 07/02/2021 23:00

No drama
Said by a man that I was chatting
to for months .
Said man had a personal bereavement and I sent a basic daily text saying I thought of him, wished him well and if he wanted to chat that was ok or not( we had chatted every night for3 months)! I sent these for two weeks .
He ghosted me .
And then... stuck up a profile a few weeks after the death of his ex wife and mother of his children saying ...
NO DRAMA
I see it is an absolute escape and thank my lucky stars that he ghosted me ( didn't feel
Like it at the time )
Lesson learned early

SpringIsComingAlways · 07/02/2021 23:03

Looking for a normal woman with no drama....
No pyscho or bunny boilers Hmm
Someone to tame me...
Won't chat endlessly...
Looking for younger when they look 10 years older than they say they are

Bluntness100 · 07/02/2021 23:06

I'm 34 years old, with a degree and a set of brains..no I'm not after ibsta followers,no I dont have duck lips,I'm made from no plastics I am completely au natural.. Looking for engaging and enthusiastic people who have the capability to form a paragraph..if your going to struggle move along

I’m sorry, but you may wish to fix the grammatical errors as others have said.

Plus no one has a “set of brains”, we all have one only. In addition, I think you mean you’re completely natural, not “au natural” which means basically naked or without excessive dressing. I’m not sure that’s what you’re trying to say.

Lastly are you sure you’re looking for enthusiastic and engaging people plural and not an enthusiastic and engaging person? Generally on dating sites it’s more about finding an individual.

Great sentiment though, but maybe works better written correctly.

thegreysheep · 07/02/2021 23:19

Refers to their daughter as Princess, or daddy's little princess.
Ask if the above, no drama, anyone genuine here etc
Nights out and nights in.
New to this.
One guy who was no oil painting put 'no threesome requests please, as if lol.
Basically most of the common phrases.
The best tagline I did see was on' what are you looking for' the answer was 'someone to help me change the duvet cover '😂 I actually did like that.

GreenlandTheMovie · 07/02/2021 23:24

All of it. Just the very being of a man on OLD puts me off him. I tried it for 3 weeks and EVERY SINGLE MAN that I messaged was crazy in some way. Every single one. From the nutter who accused me, after 7 messages, of "messaging other men" because I didn't message him during the day because I was, at work, to the one who claimed his wife had died and sent me a questionnaire, to the one who tried to trick me into saying I was going to have sex with him. Then there was the one who worked out who I was on FB and went through all my public photos and out live hearts and "you look beautiful" comments on them. Every single other one used the phrase"you look sexy" or "got any more pics". It was unutterably dire. These were not men I would date in real life even if they were the only men left alive. These are men I would be avoiding in real life.

GreenlandTheMovie · 07/02/2021 23:30

But to answer the question, any man who criticises women and goes into detail to describe what they don't like. It's always men over 45 who do this, so no, I don't think many women want a sour faced, critical, controlling, ageing man.

Ugh and the ones who look literally 18-20 years older than they claimed to be. Or they have one photo from years ago where they look quite nice then you see a more recent photo and they look rather different with the passage of time, and not in a good way.

skybright59 · 07/02/2021 23:39

@Otterhound

The first 4 in ops list apply equally to female profiles

Others
‘Looking for a knight in shining armour’....
Means I watch too much Disney and expect you to pay for absolutely everything because you know, I’m worth it

‘ don’t even message me if you’re under 6ft’
and get then annoyed when you tell them at 5ft 2 they are too short

‘I’m a fun loving bubbly party girl’
I’m an alcoholic who has to be the centre of attention and becomes a drunk embarrassing mess at parties

Then theres the stupid bunny ear filters, group shots of 4 friends and you desperately hope its hot one on the right,
Drinking, smoking or the ubiquitous selfie, taken side on, above head height, looking up a the camera with a pout as the camera looks down your cleavage.

Just because you attract these types doesnt mean we are all the same. Just saying. Perhaps set your standards a bit higher ?