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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Shaking from DP squaring up to me

537 replies

Panicking40609 · 14/12/2020 22:58

Posting in aibu for traffic, I’m sorry

I’m shaking. Argument with DP just happened, I was being passive aggressive cleaning up because he’s passing out, can’t even sit up straight because he’s drunk again. He started drinking wine at 8am this morning. We’re in the process of him moving in with me so during said argument he was packing things to leave.

He just snapped and squared up to me, I told him not to and asked him not to make the argument worse by bringing violence into it. (He has admitted hitting ex in the past). I genuinely thought he was going to hit me, I was mentally preparing for it. In the end I pushed him away and he just picked up his stuff and left.

I’ve locked the door but I’m shaking. I was so scared he would hurt my pets.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 14/12/2020 22:59

Hurt your pets ???Shock

Never let him back in to your life

BigButtons · 14/12/2020 23:00

You want to move in with this man?
Don’t ever see him again.

Original poster
Panicking40609 · 14/12/2020 23:00

Sorry if that’s all rambley. I’m still not thinking straight

OP posts:
sazzysazz337 · 14/12/2020 23:00

police or local DV support. he’s hit an ex, he will most likely hit you too

be safe op
Xxxx

LibrariesGiveUsPower45321 · 14/12/2020 23:00

He’s drinking at 8am in the morning and squaring up to you?

Let him pack his bags and go. Do not tolerate this behaviour. Get him out and ditch him. You deserve so much better.

MobLife · 14/12/2020 23:02

He's admitted to hitting an ex and you know this already??????

Why are you with him?!!!!! He WILL hit you too

Fullofpissandvinegar · 14/12/2020 23:03

I’m sorry this has happened to you.
It will , without a doubt, get worse if he moves in. He sounds horrible. You do not need a violent drunk in your life. Gather some real life support, be strong and end this toxic relationship. Take care of yourself.

Original poster
Panicking40609 · 14/12/2020 23:03

Thank god I got my spare key back I’d given him (he threw it).
He’s already texting his apologies. I love him but I know I have to be strong for this. It’s every cautionary tale ever isn’t it? The apologies and promises to never let it happen again. I know how this will go If I forgive him. I’m heartbroken

OP posts:
DaughterOfEvilReindeer · 14/12/2020 23:04

I wouldn't want someone drinking at 8am and who's hit an ex in the past moving in with me. He's squared up to you. You know what comes next, he's told you. I'm so sorry you are going through this Flowers

CreamFirstThenJamOnTop · 14/12/2020 23:05

I’m sorry, that sounds awful for you.

Stop him moving in! It will only get worse.

flakdh · 14/12/2020 23:05

That's common assault. He assaulted you.

Have you done the Freedom Programme course yet? Spoken to Women's Aid? Reported him to the police?

SimplyRadishing · 14/12/2020 23:05

He started drinking wine at 8am this morning

I got to here and was thinking hell no. Run for the hills

Do not move in with this guy.
Do not breed with this guy.
Do not have anything to do with this angry loser guy

ComDummings · 14/12/2020 23:06

He drinks at 8am, squared up to you, has hit an ex partner and you’re thinking of moving in with him...please please do not move in with this vile man. You deserve so much better.

Ginfordinner · 14/12/2020 23:06

Why is he in the process of moving in with you?
He needs to be in the process of moving out.

Nothing good will come of this. Raise your standards and get rid.

DramaAlpaca · 14/12/2020 23:06

Oh, OP Sad

Please gather your self respect together and kick him out of your life completely before he really hurts you. Because he will.

5foot5 · 14/12/2020 23:07

Please say you have abandoned all plans to let him move in. Or even see him again. Drinking at 8 in the morning, acting in a threatening way and previous for DV? What more do you need to realise this relationship is a BAD idea

ScottishStottie · 14/12/2020 23:07

Men fall into 2 categories. Ones that would never ever ever hit a woman and ones that would.

You have one that would. And has previous. Thats not going to change.

You need to be strong and keep that door locked Flowers

DamnShesaSexyChick · 14/12/2020 23:07

Why are you actively trying to move someone in who starts drinking at 8am and you know has hit his ex? Do you not think you can do any better?

OppsUpsSide · 14/12/2020 23:07

What is it about someone who starts drinking at 8am that makes you want to have a relationship with them?

dublingirl66 · 14/12/2020 23:08

Police?

Interesting when I had just moved in with the abuser from my past it took a day for him to square up to me and threaten me

I fled and he literally came back and found me

You need to use this as a blessing in disguise
My ex hit his beautiful ex wife
Tried to kill her
They don't change
So sorry this happened to you

He sounds AWFUL xxxx

TokyoSushi · 14/12/2020 23:09

Do NOT let this man move in with you.

GammyLeg · 14/12/2020 23:10

He hit his ex, and you're worried that he'll hurt your pets? This is before he's even moved in with you properly! End it right away. Like NOW.

Superstardjs · 14/12/2020 23:10

And you are actively moving him IN? Don't do it. I speak from experience when I say that once that starts, it only gets worse.

sazzysazz337 · 14/12/2020 23:11

OP maybe ask for a Claire’s law disclosure?
You know one occasion that he’s hit his ex - there could be many more and you could report this to protect yourself and other women.

Please don’t continue this relationship x

tensmum1964 · 14/12/2020 23:11

Heartbroken because??? He started drinking at 8am, admits to be violent to women and squared up to you ie behaved aggressively toward you and he is clearly unhinged because you believe and probably correctly that he could hurt your pets. You should be thankful that you are aware of all this before he has moved in as you have the opportunity to prevent yourself from being this mans next victim. Please wake up OP and celebrate the fact that you can dodge a very huge bullet if you choose to.