Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He got engaged tonight!

165 replies

whatisgoingonn · 04/12/2020 20:39

Have know him for a long time and have been in regular phone contact for the past year or so, he sent me some very graphic pictures a few hours ago and was asking if we could meet next week.

I was doing some facebook stalking and have seen he got engaged tonight. Looking all dapper and happy at the Savoy with his beautiful and clearly clueless girlfriend...I don't get it, how can someone send dick pictures 2 hours before asking someone to marry them?!

I feel awful for her as well. I don't know what I'm asking really, just can't believe he could be so deceptive. Ugh some people are shit.

OP posts:
blisstwins · 04/12/2020 20:42

Tell her

DowntonCrabby · 04/12/2020 20:44

I agree, tell her, poor woman.

Flowers OP he’s a grade A prick.

CoffeeRunner · 04/12/2020 20:48

Oh good god. Did you know he had a girlfriend before tonight?

Definitely tell her now before she starts wedding planning!

davekim · 04/12/2020 20:50

Bloody Hell. Tell her

weightedpunch · 04/12/2020 20:52

I would tell her as soon as you can and let her know you had no idea (assuming you didn't). Poor woman 🙁

Gettingthereslowly2020 · 04/12/2020 20:54

Send her screenshots of the pic he sent you, including previous messages. Wait until she has read it and then block her and block him. You don't need to get involved in their drama.

Original poster
whatisgoingonn · 04/12/2020 20:58

Nope, I didn't know and he told me he was single.

We have known each other since primary school, lots of drunken nights together between 18-24 and then in contact on and off for years. He got in touch again a year ago, and we have been in contact most days since. Didn't meet up as we live about 7hrs apart and then COVID happened but we were supposed to meet next week...I booked the bloody day off work.

Should I tell her? I always see people saying to keep out of these situations but I would want to know....!
I just keep looking at the pictures she's posted, she's all dressed up, and looks so happy. Poor woman.

OP posts:
HopeAndDriftWood · 04/12/2020 21:02

I don’t think I could not tell her. She gets to choose what she does with the info but she deserves to know he was sending you dick pics just before he proposed... poor lass.

TwentyViginti · 04/12/2020 21:02

Please tell her. What she does about the skank she's engaged to is then up to her, but at least then she can make an informed choice.

Him? I'd send 'congratulations on your engagement!' then block.

ShalomToYouJackie · 04/12/2020 21:03

I would tell her. I would want to know if it was me. Do it now, before she starts wedding planning and paying deposits etc and has to cancel it all.

What a scumbag he is.

I hope you're okay too OP, can't have been nice for you to find out like that

Sparklfairy · 04/12/2020 21:03

You can't let her plan and spend money on a wedding that's a lie. You have to tell her.

LilyLongJohn · 04/12/2020 21:04

If she's just got engaged, if you don't tell her she's signing up for a lifetime of living with a cheating shitbag

timetest · 04/12/2020 21:04

If you were her, wouldn’t you want to know?

ShalomToYouJackie · 04/12/2020 21:04

But also don't tell him you know as he may try to intercept any messages you send her

bluebluezoo · 04/12/2020 21:06

Are you not facebook friends with him already?

Wasn’t that a red flag that he wasn’t single if he isn’t adding you to his social media? Especially in a LDR.

I agree, tell her.

BrokenButFighting · 04/12/2020 21:06

Tell her. Send her screenshots including of his mobile number so she can confirm. It will only get harder on her with marriage then potentially kids. She deserves to make a choice knowing what he's really like.

LindaEllen · 04/12/2020 21:17

Do you know what, I don't often condone telling partners, but here I honestly would. Because she's not gone too far yet, they're not married, it's easy for her to get out right now. She needs to know the kind of man she's engaged to.

PanamaPattie · 04/12/2020 21:17

Oh dear.

StephenBelafonte · 04/12/2020 21:17

Absolutely what the others have said. Tell her and show her the evidence and then block them both.

I also echo what another poster said about Facebook. Always check their facebook page.

Original poster
whatisgoingonn · 04/12/2020 21:19

He isn't on any social media (now I know why!!) but his mum is, that's where the announcement was and then I got to look at his girlfriends totally open profile, they have been together a couple of years by the look of it, she has 3 children and they all live together...which makes it even bloody worse.

I don't really know why I decided to have a look, but I'm so glad I did.

I am ok, it's never been anything more than a bit of fun with us, and I wasn't expecting anything more but I didn't expect him to be such a dick. I really thought he was a pretty decent guy, I've been friends with him for 30+ years and our families are friends.

I know I have to tell her. I will tell her, just need to pluck up the courage.

OP posts:
NeverHadANickname · 04/12/2020 21:19

Definitely tell her. What a slimeball he is. Couldn't even stop on the day he planned to propose.

bluebluezoo · 04/12/2020 21:20

Do you know what, I don't often condone telling partners, but here I honestly would. Because she's not gone too far yet, they're not married, it's easy for her to get out right now. She needs to know the kind of man she's engaged to

Often the issue with telling partners is the friendship groups are the same and it risks blowing apart social groups, friendships and other relationships up as well. Huge knock on effect for many people.

In this case o/p has nothing to lose except a shitty bloke. His gf has everything to gain by not marrying the twat.

Marmozet · 04/12/2020 21:20

Oh god you must tell her! I think your regret it in the end. Up to her what she does with that information but as long as you said something.

Igotjelly · 04/12/2020 21:20

Please tell her, poor woman.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 04/12/2020 21:21

Tell him to get to fuck or you’ll tell his fiancée and send the pics
Block him
And no it’s not your business to do the big ta-dah reveal
Leave her alone, you’re the ow with the dick pics she doesn’t need your input

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.