He got engaged tonight!

[whatisgoingonn]

Have know him for a long time and have been in regular phone contact for the past year or so, he sent me some very graphic pictures a few hours ago and was asking if we could meet next week.

I was doing some facebook stalking and have seen he got engaged tonight. Looking all dapper and happy at the Savoy with his beautiful and clearly clueless girlfriend...I don't get it, how can someone send dick pictures 2 hours before asking someone to marry them?!

I feel awful for her as well. I don't know what I'm asking really, just can't believe he could be so deceptive. Ugh some people are shit.

Tbh it seems a bit of a coincidence the night you looked at his mum's fb page you found out he was getting engaged today.

Now she sees he would just have been using her for sex and has just got engaged to someone to whom he probably wouldn't dream of sending a dick pic to.

Oh god no...of course he wouldn't dream of sending a dick pic to her, clearly he has the utmost respect for the woman he just got engaged to

All sounds a tad far fetched

I've been friends with him for 30+ years and our families are friends.

Would you be invited to the wedding?

@crimsonlake

Tbh it seems a bit of a coincidence the night you looked at his mum's fb page you found out he was getting engaged today.

Yeah I thought that. What are the chances!

Personally I would want to know the man I was planning on spending the rest of my life with was a lying cheating scum bag....
So I'm advocating telling her.
It doesn't have to be publicly does it? Then what she does with the information is then up to her.
But in your shoes I'd definitely be blocking him after you've sent the fiancé the screenshots....

@bluebluezoo

Are you not facebook friends with him already?

Wasn’t that a red flag that he wasn’t single if he isn’t adding you to his social media? Especially in a LDR.

I agree, tell her.

No we don't all live on SM

Definitely tell her! Then cut all contact

@LadyFelsham

Do you really think the OP's concern is soley for his partner?

Call me a cynical old buzzard but I can't help thinking that it might be a teeny bit to do with the fact that she had responded to his dick pics by booking a day off to see the dick in the flesh!

Now she sees he would just have been using her for sex and has just got engaged to someone to whom he probably wouldn't dream of sending a dick pic to.

I may be totally wrong of course but it is a viable theory.

Anyway, she is determined to tell him but it sounds as if they will have people in common-at the very least his mum will know who she is if they went to school together.

How does the OP think his mum might tell the OP's relations. Do you think she will present her as a figure dressed in burnished gold rushing to the rescue? I don't think so and some pretty nasty and coarse things will be said about the OP.

Anyway, That's my tuppence worth and I don't think it is a million miles of the truth. It is at least, as I say, a viable view.

Really doesn't matter what OP's motivations are.

Really doesn't matter who his mum knows or doesn't know.

What would matter is someone getting married to some cheating geezer who could really do with the heads-up so she can make informed choices.

What a vile man. Please tell her.

I agree with most- tell her.

Give loadsxand loads of evidence, then block.

As for others saying that OP should keep quiet so that the families can carry on.... huh?
A woman and her three children surely are worth more than that?

This is a very identifying post, I mean how many people got engaged at the Savoy tonight?

@category12

That's a valid point of view, of course. However, as the OP has said that their families have been friends for 30 years, she is going to be caught up in an enormous shitstorm as all will know that she was the messenger.

As we all know, messengers tend to get shot so I sincerely hope that her motivation is good and altruistic although, in my equally valid point of view, I don't believe it is.

I think it may at least in part be fuelled by the green eye and resentment at being taken for a knob by this chap.

@Serin

This is a very identifying post, I mean how many people got engaged at the Savoy tonight?

Yes and the fiancée is a mum with a good chance of reading a thread with a title that directly relates to her.

Job Done for OP!

Something stinks here.

*Call me a cynical old buzzard but I can't help thinking that it might be a teeny bit to do with the fact that she had responded to his dick pics by booking a day off to see the dick in the flesh!

Now she sees he would just have been using her for sex and has just got engaged to someone to whom he probably wouldn't dream of sending a dick pic to.*

Can you read.

She's already seen his dick in the flesh numerous times. The planned meeting would just have been the next time.

And she's already described their involvement as nothing serious (from.borh sides).

Also as another poster pointed out - how laughable to imply op might be jealous of this woman who he'd probably not send a dick pic to ... a. You don't know he wouldn't, and b. Ah yes he acts with such respect and caring for her, who wouldn't be jealous of a woman whose fiance is firing off dick pics to other women and arranging to.see them and shag them in a matter of days while she's getting ready for their engagement party.

OP - you haven't said much about yourself. You're single, are you a single mum? You've known him for over 30 years and are close to his family, thought he was decent, and thought he was single. You were in contact most days.You haven't posted much but I wonder, as it seems to have been a huge shock to you, whether you feel hurt? Even if you and him were just having fun?

Good point @Serin

Well, I don't think I said she would be seeing his dick for the first time.

Secondly, I get the impression she might rather have liked to be the one at The Savoy. I don't think you know otherwise, you're guessing as am I.

You might be right. I might be right. We'll never know.

It's all a bit odd but it will interesting to see how the thread pans out.

Is this the first time you looked at his mother’s social media?

fuelled by the green eye

What's there to be jealous of? He's making a mockery of their relationship and recent commitment.

and resentment at being taken for a knob by this chap

She doesn't sound resentful to me.

You seem to be doing a great deal of projecting of how you'd feel (one can only presume).

That includes presuming she must be emotionally involved and feel used etc. - like you can't believe a woman might have fun and sex with a guy without being all that bothered. But plenty of us have - some men are fine for a bit of company, cuddling, sex etc when convenient but you don't consider them for relationships for one reason or another.
You can feel that way and still think it's wrong if you find out said man is carrying on a Fwb with you while he's in a serious relationship that his partner believes is exclusive, let alone getting engaged and planning a wedding with.

Secondly, I get the impression she might rather have liked to be the one at The Savoy. I don't think you know otherwise, you're guessing as am I.

Again, projection (or misogyny) or both - to you op must want to be the girl getting the sparkler on her finger (even though the bloke is a cheater).

I'm not guessing, she said it was never anything serious between them; she doesn't sound that bothered.
But she's shocked and disgusted to have found out he's been in a serious relationship (with a woman with kids at that) and just gotten engaged while continuing to pursue fwb with her. That's fully understandable.

It's also put her in a big quandary about whether to tip off the poor woman.

I would btw op - she's integrating him into her children's lives, she may have equal or more assets (property for example) that he'll get a claim on of they marry (and the longer they stay married) ... All while he's a scummy cheater, and they rarely only keep.one iron in the fire.

You see it on here every day.

She'll not thank you at first but you'll have done the right thing.

I'd tell her if only to suggest that you both get checked out for STIs. He may well have other women on the side too.

@LadyFelsham
You sound like you have such a low opinion of women with the assumptions you make!

Personally i'm rooting for the idea of the 2 of them being bad ass women who never give this guy the time of day again (they do exist you know)!!

So he lives 7 hours away and you’re planning to meet next week? Was he coming to you? If it was me I’d plan a lovely bit of revenge for when he arrives.

And tell her of course.