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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He got engaged tonight!

165 replies

whatisgoingonn · 04/12/2020 20:39

Have know him for a long time and have been in regular phone contact for the past year or so, he sent me some very graphic pictures a few hours ago and was asking if we could meet next week.

I was doing some facebook stalking and have seen he got engaged tonight. Looking all dapper and happy at the Savoy with his beautiful and clearly clueless girlfriend...I don't get it, how can someone send dick pictures 2 hours before asking someone to marry them?!

I feel awful for her as well. I don't know what I'm asking really, just can't believe he could be so deceptive. Ugh some people are shit.

OP posts:
jessstan1 · 04/12/2020 21:22

@CoffeeRunner

Oh good god. Did you know he had a girlfriend before tonight?

Definitely tell her now before she starts wedding planning!

Do that.

No doubt he'll wriggle and claim he was drunk, 'out with the boys' or something like but at least you'll have given her an idea and she'll keep an eye on him, hopefully.

Viviennemary · 04/12/2020 21:22

Not your place to tell her. But go no contact. Let them sort it out themselves.

HollowTalk · 04/12/2020 21:23

God, what a pig. I would definitely tell her - I'd send her the photos and the messages and tell her to tell him that if he contacts you again you'll go to the police.

user1481840227 · 04/12/2020 21:23

Please tell her!
She deserves to know!

Closetbeanmuncher · 04/12/2020 21:25

I would want to know if it was me.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 04/12/2020 21:28

Op is under no compulsion to tell his fiancée. He’s the shagger and poon hound
The op need to take care of herself and not get embroiled in couples drama

StephenBelafonte · 04/12/2020 21:28

He isn't on any social media

Lol, never a good sign. You'd think a handsome single man would be shouting his singledom out on facebook wouldn't you.

category12 · 04/12/2020 21:29

Yes, tell her - send her a screenshot.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 04/12/2020 21:31

Tell her.

God knows why he asked her but clearly he’s not happy about it either.

Just tell her, block them both and hope they realise they’d be better off not married.

Rainallnight · 04/12/2020 21:33

If he’s not on social media, the. How did you find out about the engagement by Facebook stalking? Confused

Rainallnight · 04/12/2020 21:33

*then how

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 04/12/2020 21:36

I usually say don’t say anything but I’d tell the poor girl in this case before she bloody marries him

category12 · 04/12/2020 21:37

@Rainallnight

If he’s not on social media, the. How did you find out about the engagement by Facebook stalking? Confused
Presumably he claimed he wasn't on social media, but lied.
Original poster
whatisgoingonn · 04/12/2020 21:38

@Rainallnight

If he’s not on social media, the. How did you find out about the engagement by Facebook stalking? Confused
By looking at his mums profile, the engagement announcement was on there, with a picture of him and his girlfriend, with her name tagged in. Her profile is totally open, as is his mums! Not my finest hour but I'm glad I looked.
OP posts:
PolytheneHam · 04/12/2020 21:39

Tell her before she gets in too deep! Take screenshots so there's no doubt about the timing. I feel bad for her, but she needs to know he's a scumbag.

Sarahlou63 · 04/12/2020 21:40

Talk to his mum, you know her.

MammaCookie · 04/12/2020 21:40

Please tell her.

I’d say different if they were married with children together but she has the opportunity to get out now before it gets to that stage. She should have the information and then decide what she does with it.

Schummakker · 04/12/2020 21:40

If it won’t affect you, carefully compile the screenshots and send her a message saying you’d been tipped off and thought she should know.

Schummakker · 04/12/2020 21:41

Don’t contact his mum - she won’t tell her.

Time40 · 04/12/2020 21:41

I said on another thread about cheating that I thought it was rarely the right thing to do to tell, but that opinion is about telling the wife of cheater. In this case - definitely tell her. Do it now! Save the poor woman from this utter bastard.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 04/12/2020 21:42

No don’t talk to his mum,you’re the other woman who receives dic pics she’ll hate you

LadyEloise · 04/12/2020 21:45

You should tell her.
Not him.
He'll wriggle out of it with some excuse.

I would want to know.

SimplyRadishing · 04/12/2020 21:46

Definitely tell her.
I would message the woman and the mother and do it now so they can't wriggle out of it.

MrsSnitchnose · 04/12/2020 21:46

I've been on the receiving end of this. Slightly different because mine had cheated and we had a baby together but the woman in question rang me when she found photos of us on his phone. Although it hurt, I was so grateful that she was a decent human being and let me know what he'd been up to. She was under no obligation to do that (we didn't know each other) but it saved me from what a shit my man was (She even apolgised, though it wasn't her fault)

Littleposh · 04/12/2020 21:48

Tell her 100%

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