Am I just a lazy girlfriend or is he unreasonable?

[DontBendYourAccrylicNail]

I'm actually not sure whether I'm just a lazy sod or if the problem lies with DP.

He's obsessed with things being clean. I WFH and each day I straighten the living room up (make the sofas, throws, pillows) and hoover up. I tidy the kitchen, put a wash on and put one out on the line or on the radiators. Tuesday I did a deep clean of the kitchen and ironed for two hours, I wiped all the windowsills down and did the skirting boards but it's still not good enough. I wasn't home yesterday till 10pm and was at work again today (in the office). I made a roast dinner and the floor ended up with a few drops of steamed water.

I can only buy a certain type of kitchen roll. He constantly wants a "deep clean" and I'm just fed up. I was thinking the other day how nice it would be to just not worry about tidying up before he gets home

He's just said "I don't tidy up a lot" and it's actually upset me, I feel so unappreciated and he's completely missing my points.

How much cleaning and tidying does he do? Or does he prefer just moaning about your efforts? He sounds like a pain in the arse.

Urgh! Life’s too short to live like this. Bin him off. He won’t change.

Why can’t he clean?
He’s being an arse

Is there a reason he can’t do it?

If he wants a deep clean he can do one. (What is a deep clean?)

Are you sure you’re compatible?

Is he doing 50/50 of the cleaning and tidying?

He does the pots each day (I'm not allowed to, I leave smudges apparently) and he will hoover, clean the coffee table, wipe the sides down. It actually irritates him so he does his fair share.

It's just so over the top, there's only two of us and we both clean each day but it's not enough. It's getting too much.

I'm finding myself going to lay on the bed rather than sit on the sofa because I can't be arsed with making the throws each time I sit down. Im trying to do one pot dishes when I cook so I don't make mess.

I just want to relax in my own home.

Exactly what does he do ?
Ask him to show you physically how he would expect it- he won’t
Then kick him out
Twat

FUCK THAT SHIT, run for the hills, I had one like that, he made my life a misery. Single and finally have my sanity back.

I do the washing, ironing, day to day "tidying", making the bed, changing the bed, wiping the kitchen down etc.

He will wash the pots and he does hoover, straighten up etc but usually I've done it in the day.

He's just cleaned the whole kitchen for 2 hours because it's "a shit hole" I only cleaned up proper Tuesday! I wasn't even home yesterday!!

If he's obsessed with deep cleaning, he should do it. Stop trying so hard; if cooking a roast dinner gets drops of water on the floor and causes him a problem, I'd be giving him a sandwich instead.

I’d be considering getting rid of him. You both live there. If he’s not happy about the cleaning standards, he can get off his arse and do it the way HE wants. Or stfu!!

He will break you.

Lived with one, never got any better. Constantly felt on edge. Left. Best decision ever

He stomps around the place huffing and puffing (like tonight) so I'm genuinely wondering whether I'm a lazy mare!

Cross post; blow that for a game of soldiers. Run away.

Has your partner got OCD OP? This sounds like my DH when our relay first started. It kept spiralling for years until our first daughter was 1, at which point he had a breakdown and finally tried meds which changed our lives. He was literally exactly like that, I wasn’t allowed to do as much as you as I ‘didn’t do it right’ but it was relentless and actually wasn’t any better than anyone else’s houses! It’s very very draining. You need to discuss exactly what’s going on and how it’s makes you feel. It’s hard but if it continues the standards go up and up and it’ll all escalate x

I'm feeling stressed just reading this thread. I couldn't live like that.

And what is he going to be like if you have children!!!

You're not lazy. Life is way too short for this shit. Get rid of him and enjoy every moment of the day

You are not lazy. That sounds too much for anyone - who cares if the pots are smudged or the throw's not straight on the sofa. That sounds exhausting and quite boring to be honest. There is more to life.
It's definitely not you.

What do you get out of this relationship now?

No you are not a lazy mare at all but your choice of man here is well off. Why are you at all with him?. Do you think that this is all you are worth or deserve?.

No, you're not a lazy mare, and he's not at all reasonable/realistic in his expectations.

Stop doing everything for 1 week so he can see exactly what it is you do.

That sounds really hard to live with. I couldn't meet those standards and feeling like I had to try to would be awful. Does his need for that level of clean/tidy stress him out as well as you?

This isn’t right and certainly not sustainable. Talk to him and work out between you what you both want and need. If he wants more than is considered normal or thank you want to give, then he has to accept that and then he has to do it-without the moaning or you split. This is making your life a misery and he needs to know that.