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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP said a very strange thing tonight ?!

712 replies

Underpressure13 · 28/08/2020 20:55

DP has called by tonight to hang out for the evening with me and the kids .
When he came through the door the first thing he said was ‘ok so where are these sausage rolls to reheat ?’
Earlier today my mum who was caring for the kids whilst I worked, cooked some sausage rolls and left the remaining ones we didn’t eat in oven for me to reheat for DP and kids tonight.
There’s no way he’d have known of this as both myself , nor my mum have mentioned this to him today and he knew they were in there without being told or even looking . They hadn’t recently been cooked and place didn’t smell of them.
When I questioned him on how he knew, he just said ‘ oh, instinct I guess’ no further explanation Shock
Is it strange he said that? I can’t quite work this out !!

OP posts:
newnameforthis123 · 29/08/2020 19:49

OP. Grow up. Seriously. You're in a shit relationship with no trust with someone who keeps doing weird stuff that makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy.

You have children. You have a life outside of him. Stop giving headspace to such a ridiculously bad relationship.

Why are you not getting how bad a relationship is when you feel you need to keep posting on Mumsnet about how odd he is, how uncomfortable his behaviour makes you and how unsure you are about him?!

billy1966 · 29/08/2020 19:49

@RandomMess

He is spying on you using technology, he has the ability and access to do this easily. He was quiet because he knows he's dropped himself in it and hoping you won't work it out... Angry
OP, protect yourself.

It is extremely clear he has control of your technology.
I certainly wouldn't be going camping with this creep.
Flowers

Franklyfrost · 29/08/2020 19:53

You don’t want to be with someone who you think is capable of bugging your home.

How can being with someone that sinister be better than being single?

OhCaptain · 29/08/2020 19:54

You’re loving the drama. And the people feeding it here aren’t helping, IMHO.

Franklyfrost · 29/08/2020 19:55

@OhCaptain
True say.

newnameforthis123 · 29/08/2020 19:56

@OhCaptain

You’re loving the drama. And the people feeding it here aren’t helping, IMHO.
Agree. As I said - OP, grow up. This is a ridiculous relationship. Ridiculous.
MitziK · 29/08/2020 19:58

@Underpressure13

Ok so I just had a quick look at my computer - linked up my mobile hotspot etc , but whilst doing that, next to where I connect ( that globe symbol ) was a ‘ hidden icons’ thing. I clicked on and one was a ‘Realtek sound device ‘ thing. Clocked into it and it displayed a microphone that was actually moving , as in sound bars going up and down without me doing anything. So I coughed and it went right up and then just picked up the wind outside etc . Please tell me you guys have this on yours . This is Ona new odd level now Confused
That's the device that he's using to monitor you, whether it's the onboard mic or something else.

He's listening to everything.

MarthasGinYard · 29/08/2020 20:00

'You’re loving the drama. And the people feeding it here aren’t helping, IMHO.'

Quite

You've posted re him being

Gay

EA

A liar concealing emails

And now this

For goodness sake think of your dc. Sack him off.

It must be exhausting having to constantly be like some kind of detective.

CarrieFour · 29/08/2020 20:01

The Realtek could be the PC onboard microphone though.

You're going to need to leave the computer in one place and make noises around and see if it still picks up.

Realtek is a common brand for in built microphones/speakers on computers.

newnameforthis123 · 29/08/2020 20:02

@MarthasGinYard

'You’re loving the drama. And the people feeding it here aren’t helping, IMHO.'

Quite

You've posted re him being

Gay

EA

A liar concealing emails

And now this

For goodness sake think of your dc. Sack him off.

It must be exhausting having to constantly be like some kind of detective.

It's ridiculous isn't it?

Absolute drama llama.

People have offered advice and all OP is doing is ignoring it and perpetuating the drama.

Franklyfrost · 29/08/2020 20:12

I guess op was lonely so she stayed with a partner she can’t trust and now she gets the partners attention plus our attention which will help with the loneliness. But won’t help her get away from him and his sausages.

confusedandeatingcheese · 29/08/2020 20:13

I don't think she is being dramatic, I think she's in a complex web of abuse and has been gaslit so that she's got confused with "dead ends" but feels something isn't right.

Quick search turned this up from Realtek- https://www.realtek.com/images/safe-report/PMRealtekkAudioDriverssforWindowssDLLpreloadinggandpotentiallAbusesCVE-2019-19705520200115.pdf

42daystogo · 29/08/2020 20:15

Would you consider bringing your laptop to someone to check over, or check your house for bugs? As even if the relationship did break down I'd still be worried he was listening in!

peajotter · 29/08/2020 20:15

@Underpressure13 it could be the mic on your computer or elsewhere. See if you can find where it is by playing music on your phone in different rooms.

Sarahandco · 29/08/2020 20:16

If he has access to your tech, he has access to what you are posting on Mumsnet I would imagine. So you must assume he has read everything you have written here.

confusedandeatingcheese · 29/08/2020 20:16

And that he could be posting replies to continue to gaslight you

Isthisit22 · 29/08/2020 20:16

For Christ's sake, how much evidence do you want?
He's spying on you.
Why would you waste your time trying to work out loads of details etc.
Finish with him, pay someone to check your home/technology and then get some individual counselling.
You seem weirdly OK with this disturbing relationship.

imissthesouth · 29/08/2020 20:22

No OP it doesn't do that, that means the microphone is active😳

Alwaysinpain · 29/08/2020 20:24

@xoxogossipgirl2020

Perhaps refer her to the recent thread where the OP discovered a hidden camera and called the police and he “dp” was arrested...
Do you have a link please? 🙏🏻
SoulofanAggron · 29/08/2020 20:34

OP is not loving the drama at all and she is listening. It's less than 24 hours since her first post of the thread about her partner's comment. She's probably in shock. She's been checking devices etc to be certain what's happening so she can get her head round it.

This makes it easy. Prep your mum somewhere else, and then have a conversation in your kitchen about thinking you've acquired an STI from the guy and might need to see a GP to get it treated quickly before your weekend with your boyfriend. Play it up about what a mistake you've made, but you wouldn't want to give him an STI either ... what to do, what to do? Prep your mum to advise you to keep it quiet since you're sorry.

Can't remember who posted this, but @Underpressure13 needless to say, do not do this. This guy is weird as hell, and jealous. If he hears that you've had an affair and may have an STI, as far as he knows what he's hearing is the truth, and he could turn nasty.

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 29/08/2020 20:38

Yeah, he's definitely a weirdo. Get rid, for your kids sake if nothing else.

Sarahandco · 29/08/2020 20:41

You said you don't have wifi, that means that it is very unlikely that there is a device in your kitchen or elsewhere listening to you. Most likely your phone and your laptop ar the weak link.

Namechange2020onceagain · 29/08/2020 20:47

Realtek sound device is the audio app on your pc/laptop. It is so you can hear audio on your pc/laptop. You can disable the microphone by going into settings - hardware and then click advance settings then you can disable it. The mic is on as default to enable you to talk to cortana.

If you have trouble doing it, it is probably because he has made himself the administrator on your laptop. You may have to log in as administrator to change the settings.

I would contact the police and ask them to check for you. If you remove or reset anything, there will be no evidence.

SixesAndEights · 29/08/2020 20:49

@Underpressure13

Ok so I just had a quick look at my computer - linked up my mobile hotspot etc , but whilst doing that, next to where I connect ( that globe symbol ) was a ‘ hidden icons’ thing. I clicked on and one was a ‘Realtek sound device ‘ thing. Clocked into it and it displayed a microphone that was actually moving , as in sound bars going up and down without me doing anything. So I coughed and it went right up and then just picked up the wind outside etc . Please tell me you guys have this on yours . This is Ona new odd level now Confused
OP I have a Realtec HD Audio Manager in my hidden icons, and it has microphone and speaker settings, neither of which have anything moving.

OP, you have posted about him before. I agree with those who've said you're lonely and therefore don't want to see that you are with an abusive creep.

Who is probably reading all this!

peachypetite · 29/08/2020 20:52

Bloody hell OP. Why are you even bothering with him still?!

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