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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DP said a very strange thing tonight ?!

712 replies

Underpressure13 · 28/08/2020 20:55

DP has called by tonight to hang out for the evening with me and the kids .
When he came through the door the first thing he said was ‘ok so where are these sausage rolls to reheat ?’
Earlier today my mum who was caring for the kids whilst I worked, cooked some sausage rolls and left the remaining ones we didn’t eat in oven for me to reheat for DP and kids tonight.
There’s no way he’d have known of this as both myself , nor my mum have mentioned this to him today and he knew they were in there without being told or even looking . They hadn’t recently been cooked and place didn’t smell of them.
When I questioned him on how he knew, he just said ‘ oh, instinct I guess’ no further explanation Shock
Is it strange he said that? I can’t quite work this out !!

OP posts:
PickwickThePlockingDodo · 13/09/2020 18:59

Pity you haven't been as assertive to the bloody freak who's been spying on you and your DC for 2 years.

I think a lot of people have been sceptical because it's all so unbelievable.
If it's true then you've done the right thing.
Look after your DC and yourself.
Onwards and upwards.

newnameforthis123 · 13/09/2020 19:05

@PickwickThePlockingDodo

Pity you haven't been as assertive to the bloody freak who's been spying on you and your DC for 2 years.

I think a lot of people have been sceptical because it's all so unbelievable.
If it's true then you've done the right thing.
Look after your DC and yourself.
Onwards and upwards.

While you'll probably think this poster is being harsh, they are absolutely correct. You need to acknowledge your part in perpetuating the drama of this (not on MN, I mean by continuing to engage with him for so long in real life despite SO many red flags ongoing) in order to keep you and your children safe in future.
TheMistressQuickly · 13/09/2020 22:04

Good God - so many red flags and not just on this post. Get rid once and for all!!!

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 13/09/2020 22:10

Good for you! You deserve happiness x

PamDenick · 13/09/2020 22:14

You should contact the Safeguarding Lead at your children's school, and also speak to your own safeguarding lead at your school (if they are different) as your children have been unknowingly filmed/recorded.

And the police.

This is a big deal. Don't minimise it.

Jeezthisishard · 13/09/2020 23:03

Good for you OP. And I said it before and will say it again, I think some people on here are just being awful and I'm not sure why. I think many of us here have been in situations where we have to question the integrity of our partners and even with glaring evidence still question our own decision making and certainties. I actually think you've come to this decision quite quickly and can see why you would have taken explanations earlier on and doubted yourself. That's human nature with big decisions, not least of all I am sure you won't have wanted to believe it, and we tend to cling to a scrap of hope or truth. So many posts on here are like that.

I hope the new job goes great and you go from strength to strength.

wildcherries · 14/09/2020 07:08

Agree with newnameforthis123 but wish you good luck in the future.

TorkTorkBam · 14/09/2020 09:29

Do take your devices to be wiped of spyware. Don't delay on that bit.

Your employment at a school would be at risk if they discover you had good reason to believe you and your children were being filmed covertly and you did not take action to be 100% sure it was stopped.

Original poster
Underpressure13 · 14/09/2020 18:48

Thanks everyone - I have made an appointment with a computer company and will check the house and reset everything once I’ve had a chance to save my photos etc . It’s a good point about the safeguarding , should any sort of hidden cam come to light . He told me that I was being criminal in insinuating that he might have done something like that - he was incensed. I’m determined to get to the bottom of it and will keep going until I get a definitive answer . I really hope the device checks reveal something concrete - it would help me so much to have proper closure , mentally , knowing without a shadow of a doubt that my instincts were spot on.

OP posts:
Blerg · 14/09/2020 19:49

Hi OP, just read through the full thread. What a horrible time for you.

I hope you are feeling happy with your decision, and not thinking if you don’t find definitive proof it might not be over? As you’ve recognised, is really is time to focus on you 💐

LadyEloise · 14/09/2020 20:16

Great idea Underpressure13 to get the computer company to check everything and to get the house checked over.
Oh gosh I'd hate to think I and my children were being spied on in my own home.

Take care. He may turn very ugly.

PuckyMup · 25/09/2020 21:51

Any more updates?

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