DP said a very strange thing tonight ?!

[Underpressure13]

DP has called by tonight to hang out for the evening with me and the kids .
When he came through the door the first thing he said was ‘ok so where are these sausage rolls to reheat ?’
Earlier today my mum who was caring for the kids whilst I worked, cooked some sausage rolls and left the remaining ones we didn’t eat in oven for me to reheat for DP and kids tonight.
There’s no way he’d have known of this as both myself , nor my mum have mentioned this to him today and he knew they were in there without being told or even looking . They hadn’t recently been cooked and place didn’t smell of them.
When I questioned him on how he knew, he just said ‘ oh, instinct I guess’ no further explanation
Is it strange he said that? I can’t quite work this out !!

Op, when you switch on your hotspot how many devices connect to it? It tells you at the top.

If you have spyware on you phone you might find your phone is hot even when idle, battery doesn't last as long and data usage is higher (though hotspotting your pc will make data usage difficult to track)

If OP is genuine, it seems quite clear to me that she's unwilling to look at things head-on. She's probably on her weekend getaway as I write this.

OP, this happened to a friend of mine. he dh was veyr tech savvy and thought she was having an affair. He put a listening device in her phone, and whereever her phone was, he could listen to the conversation. She discovered it when he confronted her about something. he wouldn't turn it off and she couldn't and she was too scared to factory re-set etc. She used to leave the phone in the car when she came to see me. Then he blew up because he didn't knwo what she had been doing for that hour. He was very controlling, and she couldn't see it at all, I couldn't persuade her to leave

So it is possible and real, and not that difficult. of course your DP may not be doing this, but it was the first thing that came to mind seeing your OP.

@eveningfalls

can't even believe you got 313 responses on this thread

Possible coercive control is funny? Report if you think there’s an issue. Consider someone else in the same situation could be reading this and think people just think it’s funny? Nice.

Please don’t go camping with this man and to children op.
What if he knows you know? He could hurt you and/or the children.

Stay safe!

@Underpressure13

I’ve spoken to mum - we spoke in a different language which helps . Hatched a plan for the weekend and we’ll review Monday . Checked my computer quickly earlier- lately he’s installed Microsoft edge on there ( linked to his email) and cortana is there ( but maybe it always was) I can see that the administrator of the computer links his email ? Weird . His email is linked to most browsers on my pc and they all have sync options . Trying to have a normal wkend for my kids ( both under 11) were having croissants and a film now . I think I’ll try to build up evidence over the wkend . Keep you posted . Thanks

If your web browsers are syncing to his "email" that means they are syncing to an account in his name so he will be able to see your entire browsing history whenever he logs into that account.

Very weird that he's set this up. You should have an account in your own name really.

I’ve spoken to mum - we spoke in a different language which helps

No, calling the Police will help, you have kids and a weirdo partner.
How can you be so lax with children in the home.

I haven’t quite finished reading the thread but wanted to say thank you OP. I just took the case off my phone to see what the back looked like and found £20 that I’d forgotten was there!

This really isn’t sitting right with me OP

It all sounds incredibly dodgy - I hope you either get it sorted or dump him.

I hope your DP isn't able to read all your Mumsnet threads. You need to log out of MN every time you use it or seems like he will be able to read everything. Be very careful, OP.

I've done some googling and there are ways to turn Bluetooth speakers into listening devices. You sync them to your phone. I wonder if he has synced it to his, or has to yours and somehow cloned your phone/given himself access to the recordings on your apple account or cloud.

Is it really a red flag that his emails are linked and he’s on admin?

Yes.

When you saw your mum after she had made the sausage rolls did you notice anything strange about her appearance or her behaviour?

Did she do or say anything that reminded you of DP? A mannerism? An intonation in her voice?

Has DP recently been taking drama classes?

Think carefully, OP …..

@NameChange84

Is pork suitable to reheat and eat after it’s been out of fridge for 6 hrs? I wouldn’t be rehearing any meat product if it hadn’t been stored at cool enough temp

I’m pretty sure the man secretly recording or spying on her and her children in their own home poses more of a risk to the OP than a dodgy sausage roll...

True, op’s DH potentially spying on her is more a risk. I still would not reheat pork that had been at room temp for 6 hrs.

@howard97A what are you implying?

@Wherearemymarbles
I doubt it's an internet connected one, more so a nanny can type where you plug it into the computer and download the content. Similar to how you'd upload photos from a digital camera back in the day. The OP has said he plugs it into his laptop to "charge it"

@Kitmerow
probably that her DP and mother is having an affair. Highly unlikely i think, more her husband is a creep

You're an intelligent, capable woman. Why are you putting so much effort into such a shit relationship? You have enough on your plate. Move. On!!!

@howard97A what are you implying?
I think the most rational explanation of all this is that DP is the agent of an international crime syndicate, and that he is trying to get the secret recipe / cooking instructions of the sausages.

To that end he was obviously in the house disguised as OP’s mum. (OP may have noticed nothing strange, especially if “mum” was wearing a covid mask!)

I forgot to ask in my previous post … Does she live in St Mary Mead?

@howard97A oh yes I thought you were being silly but wanted to check there wasn’t something else you were actually getting at.

@Underpressure13 do not go camping with him.

Ok so I just had a quick look at my computer - linked up my mobile hotspot etc , but whilst doing that, next to where I connect ( that globe symbol ) was a ‘ hidden icons’ thing. I clicked on and one was a ‘Realtek sound device ‘ thing. Clocked into it and it displayed a microphone that was actually moving , as in sound bars going up and down without me doing anything. So I coughed and it went right up and then just picked up the wind outside etc . Please tell me you guys have this on yours . This is Ona new odd level now

You just do not want to see what is going on, OP. You have had plenty of sound advice, do take it seriously.

Can't answer that one.

What reason have you given him for not going camping today?