My car is making unhealthy sounding noises for the last couple of weeks. DH has a mate who likes to tinker and he thinks this would be a cheaper option than taking it to a garage. Friend has no training other than kit cars are a hobby and I don't want him trying to fix my car and then live with the worry that it might not be safe or have him break it still further.
I know this sounds completely trivial. I am a bit of an anxious person about stupid things like dealing with garages so it does take me longer to do these things than most people so he is just trying to help in many ways. He thinks I am too 'uptight'.
Anyway, I declined the offer from his friend and have booked the garage but he has been grumpy for days as I will probably be a bit anxious until it's fixed and 'this will lead to an argument'. He thinks that the friend would have had a go and it would all be done by now. Then the final straw was on Monday. I had to help my mother with her shopping, she did take a long time and I was late back by about an hour. Since then he has been in full on cold shoulder. I do have a slightly difficult relationship with my mother which he knows affects me too so thinks that I should be more boundaried in my time with her to limit that effect. He also is someone who is always on time and can't understand those who are not and considers it really rude. We also are really busy with work at the moment so don't have much time together and he feels I am not prioritising our time and that he has no control over any aspect of our lives at the moment.
It is a bit hard to explain but he has really helped me over the years. I am indecisive and anxious although you would probably not guess that if you met me. He has made me do things I used to avoid but wanted to do so lots of things in my life are better. I don't have a lot of confidence and it probably means I have become quite dependent on him so when we have these arguments he will suddenly withdraw until I can coax him out of it but that can take days. Equally, maybe it is fair enough for him to withdraw for a couple of days.
The difficulty is how to manage it. It has always happened every so often and with the stress of trying to keep the business afloat recently it is happening a bit more often I think. It's so exhausting to have to manage on top of everything. I have tried telling him how it affects me but he says it is just how he is and not to worry. I wonder if I should have just got the friend to look at the car.
How have people dealt with this kind of argument?