Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Have I been a complete fool?

202 replies

Lovelost34 · 06/05/2020 08:03

2 years ago I met a guy who I instantly clicked with. We quickly became best friends. We’re both married.

Over the 2 years we got closer and I ended up confiding in him a lot about my marital problems.

He said a lot of stuff to me that made it sound like he had strong feelings. Told me he’d never been in love, etc. We had a couple of secret meetings. We text every other day and he phones me about every other week when he’s alone.

Then we had a chat yesterday and I asked him about home. He said that he wouldn’t say he’s happy in his marriage but he’s content.

Basically in my view he has hot meals, washing done, 100% access to his kids, regular sex.

I feel like such a fool. I fell for this man who is content at home.

My heart really really hurts.

How can I move forwards?

We are still best friends.

He possibly has no idea how I feel about him.

OP posts:
ladamanera · 08/05/2020 23:22

He has been quite clear. He hasnt said “stop pursuing me” because you havent openly come out and said you are - so that would be arrogant and dangerous- but he’s gently told you he would never countenance cheating and is content in his marriage. He’s gone some way to explaining his flirty behaviour by excusing it as unhappiness but he has done nothing to try to keep you and everything to, gently and kindly, push you away. You just dont want to go- so are making it into his complex battle. Believe me if he had a complex battle in his mind he wouldnt scupper his chances with you by telling you he is happy where he is. Take a long walk away and dont make it so he has to shout in caps that he liked your friendship but doesnt want a relationship with you.

Whereisthelaughter · 08/05/2020 23:23

With respect, I think you need to stop thinking about you. You have a right to put you and your happiness first, but there's a fine line between that and being self absorbed. I get that you are hurting, and you feel hard done by, whether or not his feelings are reciprocated in any format, perceived or real, you have a right to be hurt. But you've been asked about your husband in this several times and he gets no mention. The hurt you feel now is nothing compared to the pain he would feel if he knew how you spent 2 years fantasizing about being with another man and cultivating a friendship.

If he wouldn't be hurt, then he doesn't love you either (assuming you don't love your husband?). In which case set you both free.

Whereisthelaughter · 08/05/2020 23:24

I meant you have a right to feel hurt, you can't help how you feel.

Lovelost34 · 08/05/2020 23:26

Thanks ladamanera, that’s really helpful and a clear perspective.

OP posts:
ponchek · 08/05/2020 23:42

He has two children under four, so unless they are twins, one must have been born around when he met you?

OP - he has sex with his wife. He has recently had babies. He is ok to stay in his life as it is.

I don't know why you don't just talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It's about the only option to really find out where you stand.

GreatDryingOut · 08/05/2020 23:45

He has done a lot of things. I don’t want to go into exact details here as it’s potentially outing but he made it quite clear that he’s attracted to me and what we have isn’t a normal friendship.

Well, you’re right there.

And? He’s a married man who fancies you. And you are infatuated with him. That makes a ‘normal friendship’ impossible. So he is not your friend.

You say he is morally opposed to affairs (😂). So he’s not prepared to be with you.

Let me summarise:
He is not a good friend.
He is not prepared to leave his wife for you.
He is being very clear with you.
You are not hearing what he is telling you.

Coffeeandbeans · 08/05/2020 23:47

I think he has realised he is entering emotional affair status so is backing off.

A married man cannot have a new female married best friend. They can have best female friends from their previous lives but I would find it very odd if my husband told me he had a new female best friend. The new bit would be a red flag to me.

Stop playing the innocent party, the weak female etc and sort out your marriage.

You say you love his children yet are willing to cause upset to their stays quo,

Lovelost34 · 08/05/2020 23:53

I don't know why you don't just talk to him. Tell him how you feel. It's about the only option to really find out where you stand.
I don’t want to risk losing his friendship. 2 years of chatting constantly has meant that we’re really close. He’s my go to person for everything. He’s my rock and I’m very very fond of him. If I tell him how I feel then he can no longer kid himself that this is just a normal friendship. He’s a good and moral person. If one of us tells the other how we feel and open Pandora’s box then I’m afraid he’ll go NC.

OP posts:
Lovelost34 · 08/05/2020 23:55

You are not hearing what he is telling you.
I am. That’s why I posted. I posted because he was saying he’s content and I know therefore that he won’t leave. I knew that before really. I can’t switch my feelings off though.

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 09/05/2020 00:01

No. You can't switch your feelings off.

You can get a grip, find some self respect for yourself and your DH (even if you no longer love him. )

This guy is an arsehole. Walk away. As I said sort out your life. If we are all wrong and he is your soul mate he'll be delighted and want to be with you if you are free.

BackseatCookers · 09/05/2020 00:03

He has done a lot of things. I don’t want to go into exact details here as it’s potentially outing but he made it quite clear that he’s attracted to me and what we have isn’t a normal friendship.

Unless he himself reads it then I don't understand what examples you could give that would be outing.

And if he read this without any examples, he'd recognise himself from what you've said already presumably.

I think, and I'm saying this gently, that it sounds as if he really isn't having the feelings you think he is. Which is why you can't give examples other than things like "gazing" which is highly unusual as it's such a sort of old fashion descriptor of chaste longing for someone.

I think you have a crush and he's indulged it a bit when it's suited him, in that it's nice to get a bit of an ego boost, but that he hasn't given this anywhere near the headspace you have done or you think he has done.

You've let this crush develop into a fantasy and it's bordering on obsessive now because you're saying things like he will 'reel' you back in.

You're an adult with agency over your own life, you need to take accountability for your actions.

Do you not think you've maybe overestimated his feelings for you?

gamerchick · 09/05/2020 00:23

Seriously OP, you're making a dick out of your husband. Either way you need to end your marriage. Learn to be without a man for a bit.

Maybe it should come out, being slapped about a bit by the wife might knock some sense into you.

The only way to get over this person is to go NC. There isn't another way. Mooning over someone you can't have just makes you miserable.

GreatDryingOut · 09/05/2020 00:33

*You are not hearing what he is telling you.

I am. That’s why I posted. I posted because he was saying he’s content and I know therefore that he won’t leave. I knew that before really. I can’t switch my feelings off though.*

This is positive, then. You are at least seeing that your besottedness is one way. You have to handle your feelings without recourse to him.

Like many others, I am struck by your lack of reference to your own husband and children, as though they are secondary concerns to how you feel about this man and his children. At the very least, you need to give them headspace and pivot your feelings for him (which you are struggling to ‘switch off’) and just ... own the situation.

Look, you are not the first and you won’t be the last to feel like this, and I feel for you, but, equipped as you are with the stated knowledge that he has no intention of leaving his wife for you, begin tomorrow by reminding yourself of this fact and remove him from any consideration when deciding on your own family’s future.

MsDogLady · 09/05/2020 00:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dogladyxo · 09/05/2020 06:05

Wow OP - you are having an EA with a married man, you're married yourself. It's baffling how you don't see it as an ea. Stop listening to his words and see his actions for what they are. He has not and won't leave his wife. Forget about the why who what where. Like pp said I know it's hard but you need to get a grip. Your poor husband.

KatherineJaneway · 09/05/2020 06:36

You're contradicting yourself OP.

He would never have an affair.

Hehas done a lot of things. I don’t want to go into exact details here as it’s potentially outing but he made it quite clear that he’s attracted to me and what we have isn’t a normal friendship.

larrygrylls · 09/05/2020 06:47

There is a lot of this ‘friendship’ talk, it is not in any sense a friendship. The long conversations are based on mutual attraction rather than mutual interests (although there may be some overlap). If you think back to your long conversations, what, of substance, did you tend to discuss.

You are fooling yourselves that neither of you want an affair, you are both waiting for the other one to give one another ‘permission’ for this to turn into an affair.

From his perspective, he is waiting for you to initiate things physically, so he can exonerate himself morally. Were you to kiss him, he would (£10 to a penny) ‘accidentally’ return the kiss. Then there would be a few days or weeks of agonising and maybe N.C. when you would meet up to ‘discuss what happened’ but the discussion would consist of more kissing and maybe going a little further. Before you know it, it will be a full blown affair...

From your perspective, once it is a full blown affair you will be forever ‘waiting’ (in your rational mind) for his agreement for you to both leave your partners and ‘be together’ as if it were impossible for you to take agency, leave your husband independently and call his bluff.

And so it will continue, a classic, normal, affair, not a great romance.

Because, in reality, a part of what makes it exciting is that your time together is rationed. Were you to be together, suddenly all both of your flaws would be revealed and it would become a normal relationship.

To be honest, sometimes I think a shagfest is a lot more honest than this combination of deceit and self deceit, and no more immoral.

ForkHandlesplease · 09/05/2020 06:47

He's your rock. Your husband should be your rock. Whatever you want from this guy, he can't/won't give you. He's not your friend.

IPityThePontipines · 09/05/2020 06:51

OP, this isn't making you happy and you are therefore wasting your life.

Whatever he's done, he doesn't feel the same way about you as you do about him. You need to step away and block him on everything.

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 09/05/2020 07:22

God this thread has made me so angry! I have 2 children under 4, and it's fucking hard. I'm exhausted constantly. Luckily my partner is an good man with strong family values. Would you like to know what that actually looks like? It means he finishes work as early as possible evey day to come and share the parenting with me. It means he spends his free time playing with his children, sharing domestic chores equally, or giving me time by myself to rest. It means he spends every penny he makes providing for us, and saving for our future. That's what family values and being a good man actually look like. You know what they don't look like? Pretending to work late so you can "gaze and overshare" with another woman, sneaking out to have secret meetings or spend hours on the phone, spending your money on drinking, gambling, and secret phone calls. Oh but how lucky for his wife that he's "content" enough not to leave her. What an honourable man. Who is looking after his kids while he indulges in these 1.5 hour daily phone calls? Who's cooking his dinner and washing his clothes while he pretends to stay late at work? How honourable of him to let his wife do fucking everything while he gazes lovingly at another woman and says how he never loved her but is content to stay with her (as long as she keeps being a good little domestic appliance I'm sure). He is not a good man and he doesn't have any family values. Maybe, as you say, he cares about his reputation and self image, but he's a grade A cunt of the highest order and if you truly think he's a good honourable man then your IQ is firmly below room temperature. I hope you end up together because it sounds like you deserve each other. At the very least his wife deserves better. What a horrible fucking pair of twats you are.

ponchek · 09/05/2020 07:26

Ok this is where I wheel out my Harem theory.

There is an instinct in men - particularly strong in alpha or beta plus males - to 'conquer' as many females as possible. Some religions even formalise and promote this - or require it! - in law.

So in some societies it's the respected norm. And in others, where it isn't legitimate, it is mostly considered morally repugnant. However, the fact that it has been pushed 'underground' doesn't make this instinct go away.

These men like to feel they have a number of women under their belt, as it were. Woman who favour them, trust them, love them. But going around having physical affairs, etc isn't practical, or even necessary. The men can gather their personal harem just by engaging with women they encounter and like. It doesn't have to be an actual bending over the couch - the look of acquiescence in her eye, the eager text message reply, is enough. He knows that she adores him, that indeed he's her rock, that he's her go-to confidant, that he's the first and probably only person she thinks of when she goes to sleep, and again when she wakes up.

She is safely and willingly in his virtual harem.

Just look around you. It's going on everywhere. For example - there is a very very charismatic guy in one of our local small supermarkets. He has a quality which somehow commands immediate adoration in women. He is very polite. Respectful. Sensible. Helpful. Charming. Handsome. A man of substance. And I've noticed how all women change when they talk to him. Look into his eyes and you can see he's noting 'ah yes, come on in, join the gang ...' - he's got you. I was intrigued when I first saw him, disarmed, wondered where my sudden rush of liking for him came from, and by the second encounter was resolutely in his harem. It is just an acknowledgement, only in the eyes. The eyes of every woman that enters the shop!!! 😂

This is going on everywhere. But it is more elaborate and involved in some cases.

As with your situation, OP. So, this guy has successfully colonised you. You're a favoured new member of the virtual harem.

Yes, he does rate you, does like you, does want you to be only his. But he knows he can't actually set you up in a tent in his garden. So he's flagged up that he isn't going to run off with you. He wants you in his life as you are, and his wife. He'd probably add more to his harem if the chance arose. May even have more. He's put it on the table: you're welcome but you're not to make trouble or want more.

For some women, that suits their circumstances. For others, it's not on.

Think about it. Either way, your husband doesn't seem to feature at all. But as you sound really quite vulnerable, maybe you're better off retreating to the relative comfort and security of your marriage and just deciding what you want and need. If it's this guy, you'll have to accept the 'friendship' (aka being his virtual second wife) is not ever going beyond what it is now.

Choctimeout · 09/05/2020 07:31

Oh op...

He probably wouldn't bother meeting with you/leading you on at all if he didn't want something. He is after a bit of sex on the side, nothing more.

They all spin that same crap. Honestly, if a bloke ever tried to sidle up to me and complain about his wife/marriage I would instantly tell him to go fuck himself now. Have just seen it far too many times.

He has made it clear to you what he wants I think, for you to be a side piece he can use when he fancies a change up.

If you aren't sleeping together yet he has probably told you that now to deliberately upset you and goad you into 'fighting for him'.

looop · 09/05/2020 08:34

I'm really confused by this thread! It all sounds similar to one that was going a few months ago - but the op said she was single. No mention of a husband kids or that OM has more than one child.

But I think it is you; the writing style is the same.

Anyway; whether you're married or not, please for your own sanity, let this guy go.
If you are married, you need to look here first. If you're single, then concentrate on you, and freeing yourself from this toxic set up.

cheeseaddict420 · 09/05/2020 17:41

many pps have said a lot of really useful things already - so I'll be quick. Op, I think you want someone to say - "oh but he does love you! it will all be fine" or "how dare he say he is content when he is clearly in love with you too??"

that's not going to happen unfortunately. and please stop kidding yourself that he is your best friend, you are his best friend etc. you are in love with him, he is not just a friend to you. and as you are in love you need to do what you'd do in a relationship. break up with him. tell him you can' talk any more because you have feelings for him and its not fair for you to keep talking to him this way because he does not feel the same way and is content with his wife. you will lose your confidant, but tbh you're a grown up, and you'll need to get on with it and just make new friends if you want someone to talk to.

end this situation because it will destroy you. i speak from experience! i wasn't married with kids though.

Namechangex10000 · 10/05/2020 18:36

I love how you are just choosing to ginrke the posters that are pointing out the hypocrisy, your sitting here boo hooing that you’ve been take for a fool, whilst you make a complete and utter arse out of your own poor husband who has not been considered even once in this, quite frankly op, you should consider yourself lucky because if I knew you IRL I’d be letting your husband know what a cunt you are and hoping he had the chance to build a life with someone who’s only with him because the one she wants won’t have her. Absolutely disgusting behaviour.

Swipe left for the next trending thread