The man I’m seeing said “ I have fuckboys”

[katiie3]

So I’m seeing a man and we were talking.

I’m thinking about changing my car, which I do every year. I’m in a position to Upgrade my car every year and I also look forward to this.

He made a “joke” and said, I must be restless because I’m constantly changing cars, shoes and my fuckboys.

I was taken aback. He said it was just a joke but it has upset me. Would you find it offensive?

I think he must have a certain opinion of me to joke about that.

I have had a few long term serious relationships but since then, nothing. I have been dating and finding myself and enjoying meeting people.

It doenst mean I have fuckboy relationship just because nothing has been long term yet, or because I enjoy sex.

Am I overreacting? Please help.

Well he's a peach!! NOT!!!
It's not a joke. It is what he thinks of you.
Too many shoes, too nice a car, etc......
Time to dump and run.
THE HILLS ARE THAT WAY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Whoa! Not ok

Ewwwwww

Nasty comment by anyones standards.

Unless you are a self proclaimed raging nymphomaniac, this is a red flag 3 miles wide

I wouldnt be offended by it, would you rather he said what? Gentlemen friends? If you have fwbs that change over i dont understand why you are offended. Sounds like a legit observation.

He didnt call you a hoe now thats something id find offensive.

If nothings been serious and you see people for casual sex, isnt it obvious that none were good enough for a relation? Why are you offended that he described them as fuckboys when thats literally all it is?

DUMP!!!

@katiie3 depends what your relationship is like really, are you always joking around? If you find it offensive, then time to get rid. I might have felt it as a dig!

He sounds a dick. I wouldn't have found that funny.

It was a joke.

You can make as much or as little of that throw away comment as you choose to. What's he been like other than that one comment? How's he been during lock down

Lots of people will try to convince you that this comment means he's all kind of awful, but I disagree.

Even though I don’t think he meant any malice or even that he is a malicious person. He is a kind man.

I’m so so taken aback that he said “I must be restless because I change my fuckboys”

It’s not even funny. It’s offensive. There must be some element of truth in there about what he thinks i am like.

And now he is trying to text me and joke around and say “lol, it was just a joke and youre far from anything like that”

Don’t bloody say it then and make me think all sorts!

err because it was used at an entirely inappropriate point in a conversation about a new car!

Had they been discussing serial partners it might not be as offensive. But it stinks of misogynistic judgement to me.

Oh god, how could anyone normal say that?

It's just such a urrrrggggh word.

@Raffathebear

I have had 2 serious long term relationship. After my last relationship, I was single for a while and then started dating. I have probably had 1 year long relationship, all exclusive. No sleeping with other people or open relationships but I haven’t found anyone that I have settled down with yet.

So i have been dating and enjoy relationships until I find “ the one”.

I don’t think that is the same as “ changing fuckboys”

Unless times have changed 😂

To me it sounds like the sort of thing an abuser says to get his toe in the door testing how you will tolerate 'jokes' made about you being a slut. I'd be on my guard that's for sure.

It's certainly not something someone normal who is serious about you would say.

Could be him saying that he shags around too and trying to make it seem like it's the norm. Basically 'we arent official'

This comment may have been said as a joke, but it has an underlying contempt for you running through it.

It would make me feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

Only you know whether this was a momentary lapse of judgement, or if it reveals a less appealing side to him that maybe you have been aware of in other ways.

To me it sounds like he's insecure and likes you more than he thinks you like him.

@Eesha

Since my last long term relationship, I decided to stay single whilst I worked and focused on career. Of course, I went on dates and met nice men.

I dated one guy for a few months, exclusively and one guy for over a year, exclusively.

I think he may think because I haven’t had a “proper” relationship that all these men must have been fuckboys which is not true.

I never have casual sex or fwb with anyone. Which he knows. I made it clear.

He may think a woman who doesn’t settle down must have fuckboys.

And to be honest, I don’t find it an attractive comment for any man to say a girl he is exclusively seeing. Or maybe times have changed and fuckboys is just the normal thing to throw in a conversation.

I’m conservative so I found it shocking. I don’t even use the term with family or friends.

Well, he's a charmer isn't he?
He told you more than he intended to about his opinion of women.

do the species and yourself a favour and dump him.

That's a disgusting thing to say and a pre-cursor to how life will be long-term with this man. When someone cares about you, they certainly don't make 'jokes' like that. Please think about what you want and how you wish to be spoken to.

Well, he's using the term wrong anyway.

"Fuckboy" is a derogatory term for a guy who thinks he's all that, texts after midnight only and is generally just a bit of a skeezey git, all suave charm and STDs

I think this guy means "fuckbuddy" which i wouldnt find offensive at all.

Regardless, it was a massively tonedeaf thing to say, and to my (27yr old) mind, he sounds like an older guy trying to be "down with the kids" and failing embarrassingly.

How vile. He's showing you clearly who he really is. I hope you're paying attention.

Just because a woman doesn’t want a ring on her finger or a joint mortgage with 2 kids instantly, mean she is “changing fuckboys”!

And men wonder why we are offended 😂