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Original poster

The man I’m seeing said “ I have fuckboys”

214 replies

katiie3 · 15/04/2020 16:55

So I’m seeing a man and we were talking.

I’m thinking about changing my car, which I do every year. I’m in a position to Upgrade my car every year and I also look forward to this.

He made a “joke” and said, I must be restless because I’m constantly changing cars, shoes and my fuckboys.

I was taken aback. He said it was just a joke but it has upset me. Would you find it offensive?

I think he must have a certain opinion of me to joke about that.

I have had a few long term serious relationships but since then, nothing. I have been dating and finding myself and enjoying meeting people.

It doenst mean I have fuckboy relationship just because nothing has been long term yet, or because I enjoy sex.

Am I overreacting? Please help.

OP posts:
Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 21:47

@deepwatersolo ha ha! That would have made a topic! Thankfully not. 😂😂

OP posts:
noyoucannotcomein · 15/04/2020 21:49

And then he said he reacted to something I had said and used the apps as he thought I was going to dump him.

What a pile of shit.

And if it were true, it would only prove your relationship doesn't mean much to him. Lining up his next date before you've even dumped him?

FFS

Oneliner · 15/04/2020 22:08

How's this work within lockdown? Are you at the same place of work?

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 22:10

No, it was on the phone.

OP posts:
Summersunandoranges · 15/04/2020 22:12

Let me guess ... you met him on Online dating?

DressingGown123 · 15/04/2020 22:28

@Shadowdoor21 here we go, I was waiting for some clown to come along and shout 'abuse' Hmm
Sorry OP but sounds like you were seeing different men for short periods of time...those are fuckboys

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 22:37

I don’t agree with saying seeing different men for short times are “ fuckboys”

Can’t you date someone for a period of time and decide you are not a match long time?

Does having sex mean you are “fuck buddies” whilst trying to learn about each other and values? Isn’t sex a big part of any relationship?

OP posts:
RuffleCrow · 15/04/2020 22:39

I thought you meant he was into men and he'd just announced it!

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 22:43

I do agree with how people can assume and think that having shorter relationships is a “fuckbuddy” or “fuckboy”

I was seeing a man, who had a religion at the time. Due to something happening, he lost his faith and stopped believing. He changed. He wasn’t a fuckboy or treated me as such

We just grew apart. And we wouldn’t work long term.

If someone thought he was a fuckboy because we didn’t sustain a long term relationship, that is their view of something that is not true. Or fair.

OP posts:
alexdgr8 · 15/04/2020 22:44

well, really it doesn't matter what your personal history or habits are.
you have all the information you need. finish with this man now.
that is what your reaction is telling you.
don't try to reason yourself out of your gut reaction.
that is part of your survival instinct.
you felt repelled when he said it. follow that feeling. it comes from your depths. repulsion is the opposite of attraction, like magnets' polarity.

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 22:46

@RuffleCrow ha! I read my title back and it sounds like that. I had to giggle at myself.

OP posts:
Shadowdoor21 · 15/04/2020 22:50

I didn't call abuse. Dont take the things I say out of context. I said to be careful because potential abusers like to test you to see if you will tolerate insinuations. It's totally different from saying 'you are being abused' lol. And, was a perfectly fair point. Also doesnt sound like you've read ops points, and have just come on here to be goady.

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 22:54

@Shadowdoor21 I agree and value your advice. You are correct. Children will push their parents boundaries to see how much they can get away with and adults do the same.

People do it, not just in romantic relationships, but with friends, employers, relatives.

OP posts:
nannymags · 15/04/2020 22:57

I think he was negging you

B1rdbra1n · 15/04/2020 23:02

How about 'no mate you're not my fuckboy youre just my bitch'

thatsoundsfun · 15/04/2020 23:04

He jealous you are buying porker.
And as its been nearly a year he’s thinking, spring clean time: new car, new shoes, new bag, new hair and new man.
I suggest that would be a good plan.

Out of interest whats the car thats getting unceremoniously dumped? :)

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 23:08

@thatsoundsfun. I currently have a Porsche Cayenne

OP posts:
Wauden · 15/04/2020 23:17

@B1rdbra1n. 🤣

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 23:26

So guys is this negging? I bought a coat. I wanted it for two years and finally decided to buy it.

I asked him, how do I look?

He said, “ you look nice but I would not spend money on a coat like that, it doesn’t even look worth it”

OP posts:
Shadowdoor21 · 15/04/2020 23:26

Haha well if you ateht using that Porsche anymore I'll have it! xD

Shadowdoor21 · 15/04/2020 23:27

aren't

Shadowdoor21 · 15/04/2020 23:28

I do not think that is negging but it's kinda...taking the wind out of your sails you know. He sounds a bit of a downer.

LunchBoxPolice · 15/04/2020 23:55

Porsche 911 Shock nice.

He sounds intimidated by you. Find yourself a man who deserves you and doesn’t make you question yourself.

DixieFlatline · 16/04/2020 00:06

sounds like you were seeing different men for short periods of time...those are fuckboys

Eh? Neither you nor the man I question appear to know what the word fuckboy actually means. It has been explained numerous times upthread.

theschoolonthehill · 16/04/2020 00:11

It sounds like he is deliberately being offensive in the guise of 'larking around' possibly due to insecurity or possibly because he has a mean streak which you are only starting to see.

I think if this were to evolve into a deeper relationship, money would be an issue.

Tbh I would be shocked if somebody said something like that to me because it is something I would never say to somebody myself. Hearing it would highlight our differences as well as being a red flag.