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Original poster

The man I’m seeing said “ I have fuckboys”

214 replies

katiie3 · 15/04/2020 16:55

So I’m seeing a man and we were talking.

I’m thinking about changing my car, which I do every year. I’m in a position to Upgrade my car every year and I also look forward to this.

He made a “joke” and said, I must be restless because I’m constantly changing cars, shoes and my fuckboys.

I was taken aback. He said it was just a joke but it has upset me. Would you find it offensive?

I think he must have a certain opinion of me to joke about that.

I have had a few long term serious relationships but since then, nothing. I have been dating and finding myself and enjoying meeting people.

It doenst mean I have fuckboy relationship just because nothing has been long term yet, or because I enjoy sex.

Am I overreacting? Please help.

OP posts:
MargotsBumpyNight · 15/04/2020 17:49

Ew. Probably doesn't like that you are independent and a woman of means able to pick and choose your new car so decided to take you down a peg or two in the most vile way he could. Ditch him.

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 17:50

@MyShinyWhiteTeeth ye, he has an older car than mine. And I recently got a new job which higher pay. I worked 7 years for this new job and I’m enjoying buying treats for myself.

My family didn’t have much growing up and we were constantly struggling.

OP posts:
Flyinggeese · 15/04/2020 17:50

OP he sounds like he's jealous! You considering a new car hit a nerve and he's not comfortable with a woman being more fiancially comfortable than him.

Also he's 46 and uses 'lol' in texts? DUMP!

B1rdbra1n · 15/04/2020 17:51

In those sorts of situations I normally say something like:
'oi, shut your face fuckboy, I didn't give you permission to speak'

TutorWoes · 15/04/2020 17:52

He's threatened by you and judging you. You sound quite independent and not reliant on him. He's trying to dig at you and knock your self esteem. You deserve better.

Flyinggeese · 15/04/2020 17:52

Sorry x posted - can see otehrs have suggested he's jealous. He really is! It's not attractive.

bottecelli · 15/04/2020 17:52

Definitely rooted in his own insecurities / perhaps jealousy of your car upgrade / uncomfortable with your independence. It smacks of the type of man who wants to put you down and keep you 'in your place'.

It was a barbed comment veiled as a "joke" meant to burst your bubble. He definitely sounds like he's uncomfortable with a strong independent single woman existing in the world.

Dump!!

Queenoftheashes · 15/04/2020 17:52

DIS A FUCKBOY

B1rdbra1n · 15/04/2020 17:53

...or 'yeah I am a bit bored with you now you come to mention it...you have any hot friends?'

TutorWoes · 15/04/2020 17:55

This sort of misogynistic shit really winds me up.

Mustbethewine · 15/04/2020 17:56

Pretty sure he's mixed up Fuckboys and fuckbuddies.
Anywho, you find this offensive that's all that matters really, question is, what are you gonna do about it?
Do you plan on ending the relationship? Letting it slide?

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 17:56

Yes, I am independent. I pay my own mortgage and bills. My own clothes and food.

I’m not going to just settle for anyone I meet. Dating means meeting people, seeing if you are compatible long term. It doesn’t mean fuckbuddy or the men you are choosing are fuckboys.

How amazing would it be if every single woman, met the man of her dreams on her very first date and settled straight away 😂

OP posts:
BeetrootRocks · 15/04/2020 17:57

Ugh

I wouldn't be impressed with the other comments either tbh. Seems demeaning, implying you are shallow/ consumerist.

It's not much of a 'joke'. I mean if you were in a relationship where joking like that was ok then it would be ok and you wouldn't be posting about it. Which shows that's not where you're at.

How long you been seeing him?

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 15/04/2020 17:58

I think he was jealous and/or intimidated by your being more successful than him so was purposely mean to spoil your mood. He's not long term relationship material.

Ditch that fuckboy, girl!

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 17:59

@Mustbethewine I do feel offended by his comment. That’s why I came on here to ask if I’m over reacting or is this the norm conversations with people these days?

OP posts:
Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 18:01

@BeetrootRocks roughly Under a year. We do joke around and I have been honest about my dating life and men.

But I have never had fuckboys or fuckbuddies or fwb.

Men are strange creatures.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/04/2020 18:01

It’s not normal but it’s not the comment that’s the issue op, it’s what made him say it.

You were showing him your new car. You were excited. Instead of being pleased for you, he chose to put you down.

That’s the red flag. A huge red flag. Not the fuck boy comment. It’s you showed him something you were excited about, something that is a good thing for you and he put you down because of it.

Original poster
katiie3 · 15/04/2020 18:04

@Bluntness100 yes, I was supposed to finalise a few details with the car and I felt so disheartened by his comment that I have not done it.

OP posts:
BeetrootRocks · 15/04/2020 18:07

Aw op

Ditch the bloke and get the car!

He's at best badly misjudged and doesn't know you as well as he should after a year

Or at worst he's an arsehole

He's made you feel shit, post on here, second guess yourself (never good), and not do what you wanted. Not worth it.

MrsDoylesTeaBags · 15/04/2020 18:08

In those sorts of situations I normally say something like:
'oi, shut your face fuckboy, I didn't give you permission to speak'

oh burn!! Grin

Seriously though hes jealous. Jealous you have your life together and live it on your terms. Take note.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 15/04/2020 18:09

It's normal conversation for teenagers and very young adults. I'd be seriously put off by anyone I dated using the word.

I think it's a red flag too.

Iflyaway · 15/04/2020 18:12

Next!!

Who needs that shit..... he's shown you his true colours, you are excited about another milestone in your life - a new car - and he undermines you with a personal dig.
Yea, not the kind of man you'd want to waste spend more time with.

I love the PP saying get in that car and drive into the sunset! Great idea!

WaterIsWide · 15/04/2020 18:13

No, it's not the norm to be put down by some one you're dating. Especially as he's got you questioning yourself. Him telling you it was only a joke is quite juvenile.

If by fuck boy he meant fuckbuddy well that's not much better. I initially read your title as fucktoy which is even worse. (That's got nothing to do with sex toys, which are personal choice.)

Other poster are of the same opinion as me. He's jealous and wanted to put you down. Pretty much in a sexual way. He thinks you've got money to impress guys like he would use to impress girls.

He's got you questioning yourself and I think your trust has been dented. As others have said, get rid.

Just say, 'you were a good enough fuckboy but it really is time for a change now that I'm getting a new car. I'll need a new pair of shoes too. Looks like your observation was correct.' Goodbye.

You've been advised how his behaviour may escalate. The rest is up to you.

Theresnobslikeshowb · 15/04/2020 18:13

What a twat, does he know it’s 2020 not 1920?????

B1rdbra1n · 15/04/2020 18:14

he's jealous because you have more options for sexual partners than he does, so he must be 'punching'?

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