Have you ever had an affair?

[GoldieGoldie]

This is a really personal question I know.

There is somebody at my work who I have chemistry with. I think about him all the time and look forward to bumping into him. And I think he feels the same.

But I would never act on these feelings as I know it would be stupid.

Has anyone ever acted upon feelings like these? I'm just interested to hear from experience.

@puds11 what?

Yes, it’s genuinely not worth it. It’s simply lust which will go away. Honestly.

Sorry to expand but essentially it’s not as if you’ve gotten to know him and are in love or feel like he’s “the one”. It’s just based on artificial things like his appearance.

@Strawberryoranges I hope so. I don't know where it's all come from.

I love my partner so much and I have everything I could ever want, so why can't I stop thinking about this guy at work!

@Strawberryoranges I have spoken with him a few times, he's not a complete stranger

You have everything you ever want?

But are wanting to know peoples experience of affairs? Despite being convinced an affair will never happen? Ok

That’s not substantial enough to even consider an affair or cheating. Cheating/affairs are never good before anyone suggests I’m saying that. I’m just saying that in your case it’s most certainly not worth it. Just push through it and like a teenage crush it will end.

Yes when I was 19 and my husband was 31. I had an affair with his younger friend.

Worst thing I ever did. The pain I caused him was horrific, and seeing that I had done that was awful. He never quite got over it, even in new relationships and I caused that.

No and I never would. People who have affairs are weak and selfish.

Also have never been cheated on (as far as I'm aware), so this is an 'unbiased' view, it needs explaining.

You want to talk about affairs to revel in your own burgeoning affair.

Word to the wise: this isnt a rom-com - your workmates have already noticed and you will appear not youthful, sexy and fun to them, but just ridiculous, old and grim. Back away from this and seek therapy.

I say have at it

What could go wrong?

I have, very briefly. I don't recommend it.

Yes, I have. Don’t do it.

Limerance. S'all it is. Don't act on it. It rarely ends well...

Never have. Never would. If I was attracted to someone else that strongly to consider it then it would mean there is something wrong with my relationship. I would then either fix what was wrong or end my marriage.

Yes

And even though it was the catalyst which led me to leave a seriously abusive relationship, it was without doubt the worst thing I have ever done. Because not only was I judged for the affair, but the affair then essentially obliterated everything else which had gone before it. Once you cheat you will be the only one considered to blame for the end of your marriage, and considering you say your relationship is a happy one is that really what you want?

Put it another way. You say you love your partner. How would you therefore feel if you found out he was seeing someone else?

Yes. I'm currently 3 months from when my husband found out.

The hurt and pain I've caused my husband is horrendous. Seeing him agonise about what I've done.

Really not worth it.

@PicsInRed I'm young, early 20s.

I am confused about my feelings. I can't figure out what's missing from my relationship

Never, my toxic mother, frequently had affairs, she was proud of it, needless to say I am NC with her, and have been for many years. Affairs cause so much upset, pain, and hurt, it’s just not worth it.

Honey, you could be a glowy, dew faced 20 year old. You aren't Rachel McAdams and there's no laugh track. Your stock will plummet.

It's not that something's missing from your relationship. It's that someone else is attractive. Get over it and get a hobby.

No

Do you have dc?

There’s nothing to stop you ending it and moving on