Is anyone truly happy being single?

[Blushingm]

I hate it - I'm just so lonely and sad. I want someone who cares about me, hugs me just because and wants me

I split with exh over 3 years ago. 1 brief thing with a crazy unstable strange narcissist and another with someone I truly love but says we live too far apart to make things work (40 mins drive)

It feels sometimes if I disappeared no one would notice or care

Im lonely to and separated in the summer. I feel ok about it actually... I will NEVER live with another man as long as I live. I cant say Im truly happy as I have MH issues I am battling but my god I am in a much better place compared to being with my ex. I guess I am only starting to see that now that the fog is starting to lift. I just cannot be arsed with men right now.

Absolutely not. I also think, with the greatest of respect, that those who’ve only been single for a few months can’t really comment. Try several years, without even a sniff of a relationship or any affection, and then tell us whether you still like it.

I am truly happy being single. I’m the strongest and most content I’ve ever been. This has absolutely coincided with my taking much better care of my mental and physical health though.

Have you looked into counselling? Relying on someone else to provide you with happiness and security is no way to live.

I’ve been single for 3 years with a few dates, but nothing that could be called a relationship. Just to quantify my ability to answer.

Single with FWB and loving it. I've spent around 20 years in monogamous relationships and 20 years not, so I think I've seen both sides.

I'm certainly not.

I wish I could be one of the 'being single is great and I love it' crowd.

It's even worse at my age as it's pretty much too late. Pretty much everyone is partnered/married.

It's torturous.

MustardScreams, I’m pleased you’re happy. But some of us are desperately unhappy despite all the therapy in the world.

Well im married now but I was definately happy single too. I love being married but if I suddenly found myself alone, I would definately be happy.

I think I'm happier being single than in a bad relationship. I don't think I'm happier single than I would be in a good relationship.

I’ve been single 3 years and am genuinely happy. I just can’t be bothered with men.
I have my house and 2 DDs, and this is how it will stay for a loooong time.

I don’t feel I’m missing out on anything apart from sex but I’m hoping to get a FWB on the go at some stage, obviously when my DDs are at their dads.

I know so many people in unhappy relationships/marriages. I’m glad I don’t have to deal with any of it.

Loads of people on MN are happy being single. NOBODY I know in real life is.

It's better being single than in a bad relationship. Absolutely. But I am prepared to admit that being in a nourishing, happy relationship might be better than being single.

I've been single since my husband passed away ten years ago. After a couple years I considered myself open emotionally to having a relationship with a new partner but it hasn't happened. It may, I don't think it's ever too late.
But am I lonely? I suppose there are times when I wish I had someone to do and share experiences with. Or just chill out with. And travelling has an added layer of hassle as I'm the one with all the responsibility and the one in charge and that can be hard. No one else would put my kids lives before there own.
But by and large I'm content. I certainly would not want to live with anyone again. I love my independence and love spending time on my own. I've got good friends. My kids are still in school so I'm not physically on my own.
I also see many couples who would probably separate if finances allowed, who just tolerate each other or are together more out of habit than any true love and respect; I'd hate that.
So yes it would be nice to have a person who loved me in that way and who I could love and grow with, but my life is just as worthwhile and fulfilling as a single person as if I was part of a couple.

I’ve been single for many many years and I love it. I’ll never have a serious relationship again.

I have plenty sex and affection, I get that from dates and FWBs, but without the negatives of a relationship.

Yes, I'm completely happy being single. I've only lived with DD for the last 22 years and looking forward to her starting the next chapter of her life, even though I'll miss her (and she shows no signs of wanting to move out ....). I've had three relationships in those years, engaged twice but knew underneath that I love my own space too much to want someone around except on my terms - which is clearly unfair in an equal partnership. I have no desire ever to have another relationship although FWB would be ok once/if DD moves out.

I'm truly happy single. I've been single for coming up 6 years.

BUT. I have a 6 year old DS whose father is very involved so I get plenty of "me" time, am close to all my family and have a lot of friends and a good social life.

If I didn't have all of that, would I feel different? Maybe.

I do know that the longer I stay single, the more selfish with my boundaries I become. I dislike the idea of sharing my home and my life with another adult and having to cater to their emotional needs. I'm not a cuddly person and I lost interest in sex a while ago - I had a FWB for a while but ended it when I stopped wanting sex.

I tend to find that the women who are happy being single are the ones with DC, with a good support network, who perhaps have come out of unfulfilling relationships with their DCs father.

On the flip side, is anyone truly happy in a relationship? I was mostly single until my 30s and I was discontent and unhappy, I'm married now and still discontent and unhappy, just in different ways. I think it's my default setting.

I agree with pp.
Get braver. Get used to yr own company. Hsppy follows

I was terrified of being single, now I love it. It is far better than being in a bad relationship.

I play 3 sports, have a lot of friends, travel a lot (to visit friends) and do a lot of socialising.

My husband on the other hand, was miserable and joyless and refused to do anything.

I loved him a lot and really enjoyed our sex life. But now am horrified if someone hits on me. I suppose I have trust issues.

Well I’m very unhappily married. A husband who snipes at me all the time and is distant. No sex. Even when we had sex it was all about him. I haven’t had an orgasm through sex in a decade. So I’m not sure I’d be happier single but I’m not sure it could be much worse

I've been single for 3.5 years and I'm the happiest I've been in as far as I can remember. My career has blossomed since my divorce, I've travelled lots, have reconnected properly with lifelong friends who I didn't have enough time for when I was married and I'm a much better mum to my young DCs because they spend almost half the time with their dad and I've realised I need my child-free days too.

I love my 'me time' and think that I craved it so much when I was married (without realising) and might've secretly been resentful that I didn't have them! I'm also able to dream better, bigger dreams for my life, plan better holidays and visits to/with friends than I did before, because I can now make those impulsive decisions without needing to sell and get buy-in from a partner (which sometimes kills the joy). I read more and enjoy music more, and generally feel more connected to myself than ever before.

I also discovered sex toys soon after my divorce and was happily single for nearly 3 years, with an added benefit of a FWB who I met in recent months.

I think I'll want a relationship someday in future but not missing one now and still have a few things I want to sort out with my career, kids and travel - as a single woman.

Whether I end up with someone or not doesn't bother me as I really love myself and can take care of my needs. When the time feels right, a man would be the icing on the cake but I also quite like my cake w/o icing.

Single for over 17 years & extremely happy. People don’t believe me when I say that but I am.

Define 'truly', define 'happy'.
It would be more true for me to say that I am mostly happy, content being single with occasional moments of wanting to share experiences with.
However, this is now about 5 years post divorce. I did go through a grieving process for a long time, and felt very desolate at times.
Of course it would be nice to meet someone I got along with, could do things with, and have physical intimacy, but I'm not really looking for it or desperate for it.
I'm enjoying myself right now, and have plenty of friends, enjoy my own company and feel good in myself. So I don't feel as though I'm missing anything, except maybe regular sex.
Some people do truly feel better and do better in a relationship, I'm not really one of those people. Saying that, relationships are a bit of a mystery to me...healthy functioning ones, so who knows where I'll be in a year or so.

I think a relationship is great unless it’s bad. My mental health, self esteem and self confidence are on the floor due to my toxic marriage.

@Waxonwaxoff0 you make an excellent point there actually. I’m similar to you, dd’s dad is very involved, I get on very well with him and his partner and co-parenting has been easy once the emotions of the breakup were resolved. I have a healthy parenting/social life balance. If that wasn’t the case I can imagine being single would be fucking tough and I would hate it.