Is anyone truly happy being single?

[Blushingm]

I hate it - I'm just so lonely and sad. I want someone who cares about me, hugs me just because and wants me

I split with exh over 3 years ago. 1 brief thing with a crazy unstable strange narcissist and another with someone I truly love but says we live too far apart to make things work (40 mins drive)

It feels sometimes if I disappeared no one would notice or care

Boyfriends are a liability I see no need for one. Much easier on my own.

I did have 4 cohabiting relationships prior to ds being born. He is now nearly 15 and I have slowly got used to being single and enjoying it!

Casual sex is easy to get too.

I've been single 2 years and love it. After never being out of a relationship since my teens apart from a brief spell at uni, I'm happy on my own. Single SAHM of three. I don't need or want a relationship.

Yes!! It’s amazing, I’ve not been near a man for 10 years (when he left whilst I was pg) I’ve brought my dts up alone and had the most fabulous time with them. Made the decision not to introduce them to any men until they were teenagers but the way I feel
I can’t see me ever wanting another bloke. I love being single ❤️

I am quite content with my status - I’m unsure if I’m high fiving myself in the throws of happiness but overall, contented. It’s the kind of contentment I never had in my marriage or in relationships.
Is anyone truly happy in a relationship either ?
I’d think the answers would be much the same. Some will, some won’t except you have the social acceptability of a partner whereas single women are always questioned.

I’ve been single for a long time - enjoy my life and I’m not really looking for anyone or wishing someone lived with me. I have a lot of friends but also enjoy my own company - there are times when I’d like someone else around, or someone to go to a do : on holiday with but those feelings don’t dominate my life. I reckon I’m as ‘happy’ as anyone is - a partner wouldn’t be the automatic answer, for me, to the less positive patches, and to be stuck in a bad relationship would be my worst nightmare. But everyone’s different. I know single people who are constantly dating, trying to find someone, and good luck to them.
OP you sound unhappy and I hope you can come through this, whatever that means for you.

It seems most of the happily single on here are that way because they have built up their lives and esteem following bad relationships.

Is anyone happily single having not had a bad marriage or life trauma?

With kindness, @PumpkinP you say you don't know anyone happily single irl but you go on to say in the next breath you don't have many friends or people to talk to. In my wider social circle there are many of us happy singles,including myself.

I hate it - I'm just so lonely and sad. I want someone who cares about me, hugs me just because and wants me

I have been single for a while, after a fairly traumatic split. Up till recently I was militantly happy about it.

I am currently feeling quite similar to you though.

HOWEVER, the whole idea of dating and being judged and rejected x number of times is a far far worse prospect for me, than being stably, if not idyllically single. So on balance, its the least worst option. It is what it is .

Perhaps a bit philosophical for early morning but why is one’s status as a woman always questioned ? Why does happiness have to depend on having a man permanently around ?
Ideally I would have liked to have stayed married to a person who was the love of my life but it didn’t happen...it still could but I’m not beating myself up over it.
The loneliness aspect for some women is palpable and I get that but the loneliness in a bad relationship is far worse surely.

(As we are clarifying our eligibility to be on this thread: my long term relationship was my only 'real' one as an adult, and ended about 2 years ago. I have not had any dates, sex or anything since then)*

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I haven’t spoken to another adult since Friday (unless you count staff at my children’s school or shop assistants!) no one calls me, if I died no one would notice for a long while put it that way.

Hmmm...
Since last Thursday I have spoken to a couple of shop assistants and some idle chit chat with a woman at my gym before a class started. I can go full weeks without speaking to anyone properly

@fit4more It’s too late now. I’m old, fat, ugly and broken. Not seeing my kids half the week would just mean there’s no point in even existing.

you poor thing, you sound so defeated. I don't think there is anything I can say to make you change your feelings right now, but I just wanted to say I heard your heartbreak in your comments. You matter. Even if it doesn't feel like it to you, I'm telling you that you do.

Yes, reading aristotles way by edith hall atm and it is reminding me that happiness comes from living well. Making just fair kind choices habit. I knew this but it is good to reread.

It is ok to want company and friends of course!

I think the problem is when you have younger children being without a partner can be isolating and exhausting - been there @BuzzShitbagBlobby 🌷

I agree gardai, single men as a collective dont seem to be as lonely. So how much of what women label loneliness is truly loneliness? Some, yes. But not all. They feel awkwardness, embarrassment, failure.... they feel excluded.

I'm always happy single until I meet someone that I like. At the moment there is someone, I talk to him sometimes and I find myself drawn in. In between I try to get over it and that is when I feel lonely. I was fine until I met him and the attraction grew. So right now I do feel lonely, and I'm giving OLD another go, but it's not going well,

When did your last relationship end @confusedmaybe ?
OLD scares the shit out of me, online here I t’s a line up of the local displaced men’s hostels and some criminal-like mugshots that leave me screaming.

I love it - all the freedom and potential. Got a new boyfriend unintentionally, was supposed to be a one time deal but 4mo later we're getting on really well. Obvs im not going to sack him off, but a part of me is mourning my single life disappearing sooner than intended!?!

I think being happy single depends if you have other single friends to go out and do things with. Or friends in relationships who aren't joined at the hip to their OH. When I was younger and single I had a great social life. If I was single right now it would be virtually non existent because everyone is part of a couple and older and hardly goes out.

I love it.
My weekends are always booked seeing friends and family.
I do a hobby twice a week and have some wonderful friends there.
I don't have to worry about anyone else.
Don't have to consider them when shopping or cooking.
I can watch what I want and when I want.
I don't have to shave twice a week.

I have a gorgeous puppy who keeps me company and is so lovely.
So she keeps busy with a walk every day etc......
I love it - It will take someone extraordinary to make me want to leave single life behind.

I love it but I’m a man who has grown up children. I come and go as I please now. I have 3/4 friends who are single so that helps. I also live in an area where a lot of people know people so a wander down to the pub is fine for me on my own as there will always be someone there who I know and can have a chat with as well as playing a sport 3 nights a week. None of these would be possible with young children

I think society also seems to almost silently criticise single women more than single men almost as if you have failed in life or something and can’t be complete until you have a relationship. Men just don’t get that implied pressure.

I don’t even miss sex anymore. Get used it to it and whilst I know I could date if I wanted to, I always found the experience to be a bit disappointing. If I meet someone naturally then all well and good but they would have to really compliment me now rather than just be there because I feel I should have someone (have felt like this when younger). I won’t be online dating again.

I do feel for anyone who is lonely though. My mum suffers from it terribly since my dad died and i know it’s a daily struggle.

Hopefully for those of you who are suffering from loneliness, life will get better for you soon.

I'm entirely happy being single... my 20 year marriage ended almost 3 years ago and I intend to remain single for the rest of my life.....I have always loved, and indeed needed, time on my own though....

I think a relationship is great unless it’s bad. My mental health, self esteem and self confidence are on the floor due to my toxic marriage.

Me too @fit4more
I can't imagine being any lonlier or defeated than I am in my marriage. I'm not sure if I could be happily single long term, but after the emotional damage my DH has caused I can't imagine ever wanting another relationship if I manage to escape this one.

I know a few single mums. But I only know 2 well enough to comment on being happily single. They're both about 2.5 years single, zero interest in finding another man and much happier now they've escaped their abusive partners.

My mum was a sole parent to 3DC, 2 with SEN. My father took off shortly after the youngest was born. I know she's been very lonely over the years. She felt another relationship would never work given my siblings ongoing need for a carer. We are very much loved, but I know she regrets having DC with my narcasistic father and what's it cost her to do it completely alone.

I am. Single parent of one. Amicable relationship with ex-H.

I’ve never had a bad relationship. I had one great 15 yearish relationship and then single for almost 6 years.

Single is right for me. I can’t see anything to recommend a relationship.

I have acquaintances Jennifer2r but they are not really people I would call friends, but they always seem to be dating, I don’t know anyone that is choosing to be single put it that way.