Is anyone truly happy being single?

[Blushingm]

I hate it - I'm just so lonely and sad. I want someone who cares about me, hugs me just because and wants me

I split with exh over 3 years ago. 1 brief thing with a crazy unstable strange narcissist and another with someone I truly love but says we live too far apart to make things work (40 mins drive)

It feels sometimes if I disappeared no one would notice or care

I have no interest in a FWB, but I also share the doubt about living with someone. I'd like a boyfriend, not necessarily a partner. Some companionship, someone I see regularly, but not necessarily living together.

I don't want to have to cook someone's dinner just because I come home from work earlier or earn less or have to not go to after-work drinks because someone has my tea on the table. Having said that, I've never done it, so maybe I'd love it!

It also depends somewhat on who knows you are single. Obviously close friends and family know I'm single. But at work, when anyone asks (not that they do, but if it comes up in conversation) a raised eyebrow can indicate anything from 'it's none of your business' through to 'I am shagging the entire rugby team - male and female - and find your raising 'who am I bringing to the Christmas party' too difficult a question to answer'.

In the end, your living arangements are nobody's business but your own and if people want to tell you that you should have 'somebody', well, just give them the raised eyebrow.

Yes actually although it’s become a safety blanket for not taking any risks in life
Im a prime candidate for a crazy pet lady to be honest

"But at work, when anyone asks (not that they do, but if it comes up in conversation) a raised eyebrow can indicate anything from 'it's none of your business' ..."

How strange. I'm very happy for everyone at work to know I'm single. I don't want to have to invent another life when talking about what I did over the weekend. It's also useful for them to know that if I don't turn up for work and don't phone them, they may need to visit/send the police over to my place because it could mean I'm unconscious.

@Gwenhwyfar - I think it may depend on your work environment. We don't work in an office and there's not much 'what I did at the weekend' chat, because I usually worked the weekend.

Yes, I work in quite a friendly place and I find it quite useful for people to know the basics of my life. I don't consider my single status to be particularly personal either and I'm not ashamed of it.

I don't mind in a chatty context at work, but I have been sat in a meeting which started with everyone introducing themselves, and it ended up with a round of, "Hi, I'm Dave, I'm married with three children," "Hi, I'm Steve, married with two," "I'm Paul, my wife is expecting our thi

...our third" - it was uncomfortable to say if you were single or gay. I did point out to the meeting manager after that it was not an inclusive way to conduct the meeting (especially as some in the meeting were from countries which are a lot more homophobic than Britain.) It was also irrelevant - what should have been focussed on was, "Hi, I'm Dave, I've work here for 10 years, I have 3 years experience with this playform, and another 5 years with product X." That manager is an arse for plenty of other reasons, though.

I don't mind people at work knowing I'm single I'm not the only one and people knowing does open up the possibility of meeting someone at work or someone at work introducing you to someone who could potentially be right for you

Ebear that's grim!!

I've decided I spend too much time on the internet googling the following in no particular order:

"What's attractive to men?"
"What's not attractive to men?"
"Do men like large women?"
"Am I ugly"
"Is my face too masculine?"
"Why do I dislike and disappoint myself?"

I've realised (I think) that I'm looking at this the wrong way round. That my shortcomings are overriding what I expect from myself and will accept from others.

It's fucked up. Single life has it's ups and downs like any other life. But it's all up when my kids are encouraging me to date. I settled massively when I was in my prime, ironic now that I can give so little yet my expectations are higher.

Jeez I'm even boring myself now!!!

Completely @aufaitaccompli ! This is the first time I've allowed myself to be without a man for any length of time instead of trying to hold on to them even when I knew they were wrong for me and also the first time I've approached it the other way around, instead of trying to impress men I'm now standing back and expecting them to impress me. I wish I'd had the confidence to do this in my twenties ! But I also think biology has a lot to do with it, now the baby thing has pretty much passed for me its very freeing and the focus is finally on me and who would be the right partner for me to grow old with, instead of which man can give my potential future children the best genes

expecting them to impress me

And so often, they don't.

Got it in one @EBearhug and also act really stunned if you're not immediately bending over backwards to accommodate them and their needs with no regard at all for your own!

Makes my brain hurt. I've had my children so can't imagine how difficult it is in your position

I had my dd in my twenties I would have liked to have had more but never felt I was in the right relationship to do so, now I'm looking forward to becoming a grandma and/or meeting a new partner who already has kids, whichever happens first!

I see no attraction in getting a man 'to grow old with' as the reality is they die earlier not to mention all the years leading up to their demise when they are getting sick/frail etc. The women then have to be their carer and make lots of sacrifices. It just isn't for me.

Much easier being single if you ask me.

Hi all, I wanted some advice if possible? My ex split with me four years ago, leaving my daughter and I in our shared home. We weren’t married but shared a mortgage, the lions share of the deposit coming from me selling my previous property. He’s been generously supporting me living here for the last four years, giving me about twice as much maintenance as required on the gov website so I can afford the mortgage here. My fixed rate mortgage is due to expire. I asked him if he would stay on the mortgage so I can get another fixed rate. I earn far less than that required to get a mortgage alone. He’s begrudgingly agreed but says he wants a good chunk of the equity when I eventually move house because he’s effectively paying half the mortgage even though he doesn’t live here. I pay for all the maintenance and home improvements etc. It’s a mess because he can’t move on financially, I feel like a burden but hate the idea of losing my home. I’m an orphan and get no support from extended family. Where I live is expensive. My daughter is settled and happy in school with friends she’s known since nursery. If I sell up, I would give him his portion of the equity yes but I would end up wasting mine on rent which would be much higher than my current mortgage for a similar property in the area. Add to all this the fact that I cannot stop wishing we were still together😔 He has my daughter every weekend which just breaks my heart as I miss them both so much. I’ve tried to succeed in new relationships but just end breaking up with the guy as I can’t get over my ex. I break their hearts. I can’t trust, I go off them after an initial excitement...I stop fancying them, I find reasons to split with them. It’s horrible all round. My ex gets annoyed with me because he wants me to find someone else to live with so he can lose me as a financial burden. He said I have a big problem with trust and gets angry thinking I will never move on from him financially or lovingly. I’ve had so much counselling over the years for CPTSD and I’m much happier generally but this need to an attachment to my ex is such a massive hurdle. So anyway, what would you do? What’s best for everyone? Advice would be greatly appreciated thank you x

So sorry I thought I added a new strory, I’m new here! I can’t seem to delete this either-sorry!

I can honestly I count my lucky stars every week that I am not saddled with a relationship.

I need my own space and find it invaluable.

People just don't get it!

@Joolzie73 - start your own thread.
You will get much more support that way!

I have noticed that women grow emotionally stronger single whereas men grow weaker emotionally.

It just goes to show that for most of us it really doesn't suit us to be in a relationship.

The patriarchy and the media have a lot to answer for. The myth of happy ever after and happy ending just isn't real in many married cases to start with. Only about half of them at best are happy. It is a 5050 chance of being content choosing to be in a relationship.