New relationship- advice and views please!

[aroundandaroundagain]

I've started seeing this guy, its only been a few weeks and I'm not sure about it.
We've only been out once in the last 3 week's. Last weekend he said he would come and see me and we'd go out but he didn't and then this weekend the same and it never happened.
We hardly text and never talk on the phone.
I see him during the week at his business which is just around the corner from where I live but that's it. When I see him He's really into me.
In the last two weeks I've got my results though for my degree and passed. He said we would celebrate but we haven't and last week it was my birthday. He said I didn't tell him when I did. Again he said we would do something but didn't.

I'm thinking about ending it.
What would you do?

You're wasting your time. He's either not into you, he's flakey, or he's just plain rude. Move on.

There is nothing to end, you're not even together. Just stop contacting him. He's not interested.

That's the thing. We are together and he talks about the future we have and says all the right things. Has told his friends and family about me. I don't contact him as I refuse to chase, he contacts me so there is something to end here if I'm going to do it.

He's married.

Don't contact him again. Move on.

HTH.

He’s just not that into you. Move on. You deserve better xx

I don't think there's anything to end either. He probably just thinks you are someone who he speaks to every now and then.

I would just stop the little conversation you do have and move on completely.

Saying the right things means nothing when he's not doing the right things. The best advice you need to remember about relationships is actions speak louder than words.

Dump and move on.

He only sees you as an option.

Sorry.

Been there, done that. How he acts is how he feels. Don't waste your time.

😂 now I remember why I don't use this place anymore.

He's told his family and friends about you yet he can't even remember your birthday. There's not much to tell them if he can only be bothered meeting once in 3 weeks. Bin him!

Thank you to the last 3 posters. That's more constructive

I'd put my money on married.

...youve only been seeing him.a few weeks and he's talking about your future and has told his fam about you? Umm...he's a future faking bullshitter. There's nothing to end. Youve been on one date and he talks shit.

If he's not putting in the effort at this early stage.... trust your instincts

Thanks kitk

So anything other than what you want to hear is not constructive? Sorry to be harsh but you are wasting your time. Base your judgement on his actions not his words. Words are cheap, they don’t cost a penny.

Don't look at what he says look at what he does. Actions speaks louder than words is a very true saying. His actions are to treat you like crap and just never deliver on this promises and to lie about you telling him about your birthday. That's what you need to look at. Not the things he says.

Thank you Excitedforthefuture

How is it a relationship if you've been dating a few weeks and he keeps cancelling? How are you 'together'? Just give it up as a bad job. Very common when dating.

He’s not worth bothering with any further I don’t think.

I agree with trusting your instincts. From what you say, he doesn’t seem to be putting any effort in, except verbally, and could be saying what he thinks you want to hear. I’d be more concerned why he only wants to meet you at his work. It’s like he’s keeping his home life separate 🤔.

Congrats on the degree. Perhaps find others to celebrate with?

You refuse to chase. Um, not entirely sure what you mean by that as people mean different things.

It can mean you never initiate texts or phone calls and expect him to do the running. Which can lead to him thinking you’re not that into him. If it’s that then no wonder he’s not bothering his arse, he thinks you’re not that into him.

Or it can mean “Phone me Friday evening and we can see if we feel like meeting for lunch on Saturday” and he doesn’t phone so you leave it until he next phones you. Which is fair enough and I’d only put up with that a couple of times and then I’d be telling him that he can go as he’s not that interested in me.

Or it can be that he’s keen as he’s getting sex from you but he has other gfs he has sex with so he doesn’t bother with you until he’s horny again and it’s your turn to get the pleasure of his company at which point he’s keen again.

If it’s the former you could communicate better. If either of the latter tell him to jog on.

People kept recommending the book 'He's Just not that Into You' when I had a series of relationships like this and I thought they were being rude or that it was a joke book. It's easy reading but has a LOT of wisdom in it and I really, really wish I'd read it much earlier. Please do read it OP. I'm 56 now and I have seen it all and experienced it all.

When he tells you he's keen and that you're special he's not lying. But, trust me if he really did respect you and care for you he'd make sure he could see you as much as possible and do everything not to let you down in case you lose interest. He's interested but just not enough, have some self respect and move on.

This is why I'm confused. He's already told me that he loves me, that I'm his future wife. He's told his dad about me, hos sister and his friends. His dad wants to meet me.
I have 3 kids and he says he accepts us all as a package. He says I'm his girlfriend/partner.

I'm wondering if It's because I see him a few times during the week at his business and that's why he's not taking me out because I'm making it too easy for him?

He asked me the other day if its okay for him to ring me because he wasn't sure and didn't want to be in my space. I told him of course it was okay and that he was considerate

Maybe its me whos in the wrong here for not communicating what I want properly?