@Mix56 
I have just sent an email saying pretty much that but much more politely (because if H produces all our emails again to the judge, once again he will be shooting himself in the foot because my emails are polite, informative and calm, whereas his are paranoid and rambling!)
I'm entitled to withdraw from the joint accounts which will mean the cards and cheque books don't work anymore and we need both signatures to do anything.
I'm not going to do this immediately, because actually there is no risk of him emptying it etc. - as @MsPavlichenko says, he's just trying to keep contact and control.
He's not stupid, it is a lot more insidious than emptying the account, he wouldn't want to look bad. Much better to keep insisting that his salary is still going into it and that I am not contributing.
He is definitely scared I will say he hasn't been contributing to the DC, he obviously thinks I am making a case against him and collecting evidence (which is so patently what HE is doing).
I have said the direct debit will stay as it is, he can transfer me half the money each month.
I've also said that I'm delighted that he is wanting to contribute to the DC's upkeep and have suggested he look online at the child maintenance amounts (have linked the websites) and then make me an offer for upkeep of the kids for the period beween mid-May and the end of September (when it will be settled by the judge anyway).
The joint accounts need to be settled up and closed, and he needs to get back to me on the furniture and I want this settled within 2 weeks before he goes away for work.
I very much doubt he will do any of these things, but the aim here is to be able to prove to the judge that I DID try to reach agreement with him amiably (and probably that he refused).
I've written off the furniture and any hope of back-dated maintenance anyway, so it's no loss to me really.
If within 2 weeks he hasn't done anything about the bank accounts, I will transfer out the amount I consider is due to me, and then freeze the account. He can't say I didn't warn him.
Then I can sit back and let him worry about whether it was shared out fairly or not, there is actually no rush.
I just want these things over with so that the interactions between us can be cut to the strict minimum and so that there are as few "pending topics" between us as possible.
I have realised that my mental health can't cope with all of this "polite" to-ing and fro-ing and it stops me getting on with my life (his aim) so I need an end date, which will actually pretty much coincide with the judge's decision anyway.
DS1 has just had to call his dad because H's fretting that he hasn't received any paperwork from the school. DS1 was exasperated and stressed and having to tell his dad that nothing had been sent out yet.
I reassured DS1 that just like for DS2 yesterday, if anything comes through from school, I will take a photo of it and send it directly to H, he doesn't need to worry about it.
Night all!!! Hoping for a better night tonight.