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Original poster

Dating Thread 156 - It is hot hot hot

999 replies

midcenturylegs · 22/04/2019 21:36

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

OP posts:
Chocolate123 · 23/04/2019 10:10

@lifegoes I'd text him then you will know either way. I always hate this uncertainty afterwards but I'd rather know. Just keep it light as others have said

putastrawunderbaby · 23/04/2019 10:24

@lifegoes another one saying just text him already! He may have a genuine reason, he may not - but surely knowing is better?

jesuis so sorry for how things turned out with Mr Plumber

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 10:26

Well he's been on tinder this morning as his location has changed. Gutted 😢

putastrawunderbaby · 23/04/2019 10:28

@marlboroandmalbec34 hand holding here.....it's so hard not to overinvest.
@eesha he sounds like he enjoys mind games.....

Original poster
midcenturylegs · 23/04/2019 10:28

@lifegoes... can I suggest you just text him? He could've been on Tinder for the same reason as you. Just drop him a light & breezy message and see if he responded in suit, We are here for you!

OP posts:
putastrawunderbaby · 23/04/2019 10:29

Oh @lifegoes I'm so sorry

Original poster
midcenturylegs · 23/04/2019 10:29

*responds!

OP posts:
lifegoes · 23/04/2019 10:30

I have text - hold me 😢😢😢

Notcoolmum · 23/04/2019 10:33

lifegoes what did you text? Here for you 💐

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 10:38

I said morning. I got a good reply back hello beautiful how are you

Good sign?

MrDrummer · 23/04/2019 10:41

@lifegoes you've constructed a narrative from an absence of a message. Anything could have happened. Family crisis or whatever. Honestly think the best thing is to message him. If I was this uncomfortable messaging someone, I wouldn't have DTD. He honestly might be waiting for you to message. Maybe he thought he was rubbish at DTD, or he thought he wasn't worthy. Blokes have all the same hang ups as women do. Just needs someone to take the risk and send the message

JeSuisPrest · 23/04/2019 10:42

Hand hold here as well lifegoes. Best to know either way.

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 10:43

@MrDrummer see prev post 😉. Thoughts?

JeSuisPrest · 23/04/2019 10:45

@MrDrummer the curse of overthinking.

Musti · 23/04/2019 10:49

From experience, if a man is interested he will message. Only takes a few seconds to fire off a message. It's worth giving him the benefit of the doubt @lifegoes but see how his behaviour is from now on and don't overinvest (like I did!).

MrDrummer · 23/04/2019 10:51

@Notcoolmum

Why should men be expected to text first? Why the need for all this over complication and over thinking?

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 10:54

@MrDrummer what's your thoughts on his reply

Notcoolmum · 23/04/2019 11:00

I don’t know mrdrummer it’s not an intellectual thought. It is a feeling. I know I feel a man should text me after we have DTD and it feels wrong and I feel insecure/hurt if he doesn’t. What would you normally do?

How do you feel about his response lifegoes?

MrDrummer · 23/04/2019 11:00

@lifegoes

He hasn't ghosted you and it was a nice reply. What else is there to say?

I feel you might have felt you ceded power to him? How about he ceded power to you because you took the mature and adult approach of messaging him?

I can't tell you whether he will mess you about but I think best to have your own plan and if he fucks you about its on him. Nothing you do is going to change that.

Candace19 · 23/04/2019 11:01

@lifegoes maybe you tired him out ?? 😂

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 11:02

@MrDrummer that's exactly what it is. I felt I had given him power. But you are right it was the adult thing to do. I don't like playing games.

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 11:02

@Candace19 I did 😉

Ant330 · 23/04/2019 11:04

lifegoes his reply sounds fine.
He may have been waiting for you to text wondering if you really were interested.
Just reply saying you had a great time and would like to do it again. I'm not a fan of who should text first, who should arrrange what. If you like him then ask for a 2nd date ;)

kerkyra · 23/04/2019 11:05

notcool mum I feel exactly the same and agree

lifegoes · 23/04/2019 11:07

@Ant330 he did ask me yesterday about a second date. We didn't put anything in stone but I'll await a few days for that.