Hmmm @richdeniro I don't know to be honest. As I said on the last thread, I find men who make it obvious they fancy me highly irritating and the thing I really liked about my now bf was that there was no reference to anything sexual and he was incredibly respectful both during chatting and on our first date. It meant we really had chance to find out about each other without any cringey flirting getting in the way.
For me personally, I have always found a strong attraction to personality over generic good looks. I mean yes, Tom Hardy is gorgeous but if I met him and he was a twunt I'd soon go off him. My school girl crushes were always on the class clowns (who in our school weren't the good looking ones! 😂) or guys I had a good friendships with, so for me I quite like a slow burner and would be prepared to develop a friendship with the potential to grow into something more. (I'm in no way suggesting you're an ugly mug btw, just saying that personality is way more attractive to me!)
In fact, I've never actually thought about it until you asked the question but every single relationship I've been in prior to OLD has stemmed from just being mates and then realising we'd developed feelings, never from any form of fancying/ flirting
Saying all that, the word 'passive' makes you sound uninterested so could that be where you're going wrong?? could the passiveness come across as just not interested?
Spark/ chemistry for me doesn't come with flirting or flattery or anything sexual in the early days, it comes from learning about someone. Stripping back the layers and getting to know what makes them tick. Once I've got an idea of that then it makes me more interested the physical connection.
Not sure if any of that is any help at all, just my opinion!!
