So I’ve found out that my husband of 9 years have made repeat visits to ‘massage’ parlours for ‘happy endings’.
Found a couple of old messages on his iPad by accident and confronted him straight away. He denied it for a week claiming it was just a fantasy but both messages had him saying ‘I’m in the street, what’s your door number’ so I refused to believe him. He eventually fessed up but it took him a week where I was in a complete shock, could not sleep, eat or focus.
He tried to play it down saying that although it’s been going on for 5 months, he only had gone a couple of times.
Well, by this stage I had cross checked his blocked numbers against his car satnav and google searching the number + massage and I knew it was more than that.
Cut the long story short, he finally said that it was more like 10 times and gave me full access to his phone and iCloud so i accessed all his old deleted WhatsApp messages and I know it was actually 12 times he paid the hookers to get his end away. He claims it was ‘just’ hand jobs at the end of a naked body to body massage but there are 5 messages where he asks if they would do full Dec with the massage. Each time the response is ‘no’ but that does not mean that he could not have called to book full sex with someone else... not that it would make it any worse as he has done enough to make me feel disgusted and utterly betrayed.
Yet... I am still thinking that we should give our relationship a go, I do love him.
Let’s be clear, I do t need him and I have lived by myself before - perfectly happily. But other than this the relationship was perfect! Can’t believe I’m even saying this as clearly it was not but we had good sex life, lovely holidays and a good social life.
He is not sure why he did it, says the first time it happened it was after a normal massage - she offered him an extra and he did not say no... and then he got a taste for it and. Kept going. He also says that he was worried about not being able to come as often as he used to (I’d every night) but he is in his late forties! And I thought I made it clear to him that I did not mind - because I did not. He has always complimented me on my figure/ looks etc and says it has nothing to do with me not being sexy enough, it’s just his stupidity.
I want us to stay together but it’s been over 2 months since I found out and I’m still having thoughts about him actually paying someone to wxxnk him off and other women sliding their pert bodies over his.
I was a complete wreck for a month but have pulled myself together out of the black hole and I’m now starting to think logically. But perhaps I should think with my heart? Opinions and experiences welcome...