Dating thread 155 - Spring lovin'

[supercali77]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Couldn't find a new thread so am hoping I've got this right!

Thanks super

Thanks for the new thread

lifegoes you can read a WA in flight mode but as soon as you turn flight mode off and reconnect to WiFi then the blue ticks will appear.
I've tried it with my friends. If you're worried about that sort of thing just turn off your last seen and blue ticks in your settings.

Thanks super

supercali that sounds awful. He was critical of you (appearance?) and talking about other women. Not great - if it continues he'll erode your self-esteem. And in these early days it shouldn't be like that!

Thanks @supercali77

@BatshitCrazyWoman early in the morning I had a bad back and was shifting around trying to get comfortable. He knows about my back and previous times has rubbed it or enquired. This time he snapped 'you're like an elephant!'. If it had been jokey. Fine. But it just made me really uncomfortable. I almost left there and then but fell back asleep. The mentioning of women was celebs. Now I am not typically arsed about this but it became a bit ridiculous over the course of one evening. I didn't react but internally rolled my eyes. Is that insecurity? Wanting to see if I get jealous? And then suggesting certain sexy items I might wear etc. If it had been just one of these id think 'hmm. Ok' but altogether I came away feeling emotionally a bit fragile particularly by comparison to previous weekends. On the back of the bumble thing it is just red flag city to me

That doesn't sound great at all super 😕

batshit yeah my gut was screaming at me to leave by the end. I've been guilty of not trusting it before. Second guessing whether I'm overreacting but if it don't make you feel great....whats the point really?

supercali listen to your instinct - no-one should be making you feel like that.

He’s lovely ant330. I definitely want to keep him. I just hope he feels the same about me. And you sound pretty great yourself. Lovely of you to send Ms Oz flowers 💐

I don’t understand where you are coming from vwman. There is no control. Both men and women have emotions.

kerkrya are you going to talk to village man? Had you assumed he wasn’t on dating sites?

supercali that change doesn’t sound good. Are you going to call him out on it or just move on?

Panamaxforte that was me. I think we feel like a close group in here and I’m used to closed FB groups where your posts are private. It’s easy to forget that these threads are entirely open.

Supercali- thanks for thread. I think you do right to move on I don’t like those comments at all!
Shitwith- totally agree sharing too much too soon is not always good. Slow and steady wins the race.
I’m really shocked that some people being creepy. Is it one person?!? 🤔 I’m so naive

supercali just seen your update. I can’t think of how calling a woman an elephant would ever be OK.

shitwith how do you do the pulling it back thing? I find that so difficult. I was supposed to do that with Mr S but really haven’t.

@Notcoolmum I'm not sure whether to call him out or not. Typically after 2+ months id tell the person in person if things weren't working but I'm just wounded and furious so.....im not sure now is the time to have the convo.

Had a message on pof last night "where you in lidl's yesterday?", I replied "what is this celebrity spotting lol", she said, "no you looked at me, I was behind you in the queue".

I honestly cant remember her but maybe there was mutual attraction, she certainly remembered me.

I normally don't go for separated women due to concerns that there are unresolved emotional issues, especially when her profile says fed up of cheaters, but lets see how it goes with Miss Lidl

Yay new thread

Thanks @BatshitCrazyWoman I'll just do that for the future

Will catch up later. No news here

@supercali77 I would have been out of there in a flash at the mention of the word "elephant", joking or not.

@vwman I'm the same re seperated men, had a 6 month relationship with someone going through a divorce, and it was really hard work. We split just as his divorce papers came through so I can't help but think I just wasn't needed anymore? I also swipe left on profiles that say "No drama" - isn't life full of unexpected things thrown up at us? Is it that the man doesn't want to or is uncapable of providing support (and this is me as a pretty strong independent woman saying this).

supercali77 that doesn't sound good- if he has you feeling that uncomfortable now already it probably won't get better. Maybe the 'real him' is starting to show.

Batshit sounds good that you and Mr Bookworm are on the same page about things and can talk about it

Vwman- that’s a bit alarming like stalkeresque. She Obvs keen if remembered face though. I’m separated but knew for ages was over so not always that full of drama. Every person different.

Kerkyra- didn’t you say you thought he was looking around? Make sure you are too

Ant- flowers is a lovely touch. Made mistake of telling current iron that previous ex flower bombed me- every date- and was too nice. Doomed never to receive again!

Yay found you all.

shitwith that sounds sensible!

supercali wow loads of red flags there

midcentury I also hate the “no drama” thing!

Still having nice, respectful messages from Mr Local. He is perfect on paper. Right age, reasonable height, good looking (stubbly) good job, same life stage etc etc but I am not feeling excited at all. Gonna meet him for a drink on Thursday though as he is local!

just place marking

still not back on the apps yet while I sort my shit out

supercali think you dodged a fast one there. I normally find it's about 6 months when their true colours start coming through so any sooner than that and I think you've done alright!

and I didn't see the comment on flowers but gifts are a massive no no from me. I hate and I mean absolutely hate anyone bringing me a gift on a date. I think it's really awful and I've never seen anyone again who has done it!