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Original poster

Dating thread 155 - Spring lovin'

999 replies

supercali77 · 16/04/2019 05:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

OP posts:
putastrawunderbaby · 16/04/2019 15:07

@looupdate the odd message now and again through the day.....it's nice - very low pressure.
I have to remember to keep it clean though. Fab may have corrupted me

CanIreallybebothered · 16/04/2019 15:19

Insanely curious about the No dating the thread rulebreakers, what rebels  we are all adults

Indeed we all are but the couple in question got a lot of grief and no longer post here although they both had a lot to offer other thread members. Those of us who kept in touch with them are looking forward to buying our hats 😊 and hope we will be bridesmaids!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/04/2019 15:26

LooUpdate I met him on Fab - dtd was date 2. Sex is really important to me and if we weren't compatible that would be the end. Obviously, we are compatible ...

richdeniro · 16/04/2019 15:28

Hey all - thanks for all the support on Sunday, I was having a bit of an existential crisis I guess.

Sorry to hear about creepy messages midcenturylegs and others too, is there no way you can report? I've reviewed a few profiles on here via PM and whatsapp and hope I've helped plus it's been helpful for me to get others opinions.

I have met someone from the thread, it wasn't a date so don't think we broke the rules. I would now count her as one of my dearest and best friends.

LilyRose88 · 16/04/2019 15:30

rich I don't think anyone was pointing the finger at you as you and she have been upfront on the thread about meeting as friends. I have no idea who they are pointing the finger at though.

Eesha · 16/04/2019 15:32

@LooUpdate i have a day date with MrShort, only 5ft 6, same as me, but keeping an open mind!

CanIreallybebothered · 16/04/2019 15:36

I have met someone from the thread, it wasn't a date so don't think we broke the rules. I would now count her as one of my dearest and best friends.

So have a few it seems - as have I and made friends too. However given the reason we were/are here, it seems insane that if two people meet as friends and hit it off, they shouldn't date because of some internet rule made by some anonymous person. The couple in question didn't join in here to find love but they did and shouldn't have been subjected to the abuse they got.

Man4allseasons · 16/04/2019 15:42

canIreally " it seems insane that if two people meet as friends and hit it off, they shouldn't date because of some internet rule made by some anonymous person" this!

30somethingandsingle · 16/04/2019 15:44

I would like to ask MrFox about why he split with his exW. Is that inappropriate at this stage? I mean, I don't want a long conversation about it, but I'd like to know- if he turns around and says he cheated etc well, that would be a deal breaker and I'd like to know.
The subject hasn't really come up in conversation as yet. Hypocritically, I am always apprehensive when asked the same question as I think it's easy for others to think I sound bitter (exH cheated) but I'm not, I just don't particularly like talking about it.

BendyLikeBeckham · 16/04/2019 15:46

lol @CanIreallybebothered and the hat purchasing!

Blimey, I go off to sit on the Smitten Bench and come back to find you lot are all on Fab Swingers!!

Sorry to hear about the inappropriate DMs being received. Maybe just out them here or report them and they'll stop?

@Sidge Fabulous to hear your FWB is turning into something more. I found we reached a deeper level of understanding about each other much earlier as we had been super honest and open and shared stuff we would never have done if we had started proper dating from the start and therefore been on best behaviour . Fingers crossed it works out really well for you too.

Oh, and who else has been dating the thread? like I don't know Wink

LilyRose88 · 16/04/2019 15:47

CanIreally I wasn't part of the thread when the couple got together so I'm not aware of how it panned out or the way they were treated, but I agree that if it was a mutually agreeable arrangement they should not have been subjected to abuse. I always assumed that the 'rule' in question was in place to protect posters from being targeted by unscrupulous people. We do tend to reveal quite a bit about our situations and insecurities and I have said a couple of times that I reveal things on this thread that I wouldn't want people in real life to know about. And of course some of us are vulnerable (myself included to some extent) and it would be a shame if this thread attracted people for the sole reason of picking someone up.

LilyRose88 · 16/04/2019 15:55

30something I always ask dates why they split from their ex. Not usually on the first date, but I do like to find out what happened. I try not to interrogate them though Grin.

Actually I remember it coming up when I was having a telephone chat with one guy prior to meeting him. He was clearly very bitter about the break up and mentioned it himself during our conversation. I felt that his attitude was a red flag and I decided not to meet him. Another guy (Mr Builder) told me on the first date that he would have been a lot richer if he hadn't had to give so much money to his ex when they got divorced. I asked why they had split up and he admitted that he had cheated. Now I wonder why he didn't get a second date with me …...

Ant330 · 16/04/2019 15:58

30something not inappropriate to ask at this stage. I've been asked about my seperation either on first dates or calls/messages leading upto the 1st date.
I don't tend to talk about my ex cheating when first asked as I only found out about if after we seperated so it wasn't a factor in my decision, but I have told MissOz about it.

lifegoes · 16/04/2019 15:58

Need ideas for what to wear.

First date Friday night, out for dinner.

I want something sexy, but classy.

Any ideas are welcome.

Original poster
supercali77 · 16/04/2019 16:03

@lifegoes a nice wrap dress? I always like them....they hug the figure well but are still classy/modest

OP posts:
CanIreallybebothered · 16/04/2019 16:04

Lily - I get where you're coming from but the accusations that were thrown at the male in question were unbelievable (particularly from a lurking male member who seemed to know exactly what the now loved up man's motives were - not!). Perhaps he was projecting! I have had the pleasure of meeting the loved up man as friends and then the loved up couple- couldn't be happier for them both. At the end of the day you have to grab every chance that comes your way - no matter how that chance arises. The couple in question seem to be a perfect match ! Good luck to them both (hopefully a few more bridesmaid points lol)

Lovemusic33 · 16/04/2019 16:07

Found you all, the last thread went really fast.

So today I am unwell with a ear infection, had a rubbish nights sleep and was feeling really poorly this morning. 3 of my irons messaged me so I told them all I was ill, I sat and wait for the responses to see if I would get any sympathy, Mr Young (FWB) said “you need a good seeing too” 😐😐, Mr No Hair didn’t really offer any sympathy and then also said “sex would help” and the 3rd one was the guy I stood up the other weekend for being a bit jealous, he was really sympathetic, told me how I should be resting and saying if he was my boyfriend he would be looking after me (no sex mentioned). I think I need to ditch Mr No Hair.

I haven’t had time to go on POF today, I may dip my toe in later and see if I can find some new irons. Nothings really screaming out to me at the moment.

lifegoes · 16/04/2019 16:13

@supercali77 was looking at those as then you feel comfortable when eating 😂.

Then I started thinking skinny jeans nice low cut top 🙄

LilyRose88 · 16/04/2019 16:24

lifegoes a wrap dress or skinny jeans and a nice top are my go-to outfits for dates. Although I have a couple of wrap skirts that I also like to wear as they are very flattering and look good with a simple black tee shirt.

lifegoes · 16/04/2019 16:27

Thank you @LilyRose88

Ant330 · 16/04/2019 16:33

Lovemusic I had a slight panic then as MissOz is in bed with an ear infection! I relaxed as I read the rest of your post Grin

Original poster
supercali77 · 16/04/2019 16:39

Hehe at the idea of ant and love suddenly realising they were accidentally dating the thread

OP posts:
Original poster
supercali77 · 16/04/2019 16:43

@lifegoes yes! One of my most mortifying dating moments was one of those thread through belts on a dress which was a bit small bursting open when I laughed after dinner.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 16/04/2019 16:51

🤣🤣 nope, I’m not MissOz but I have sympathy for her ear ache.

Sunshineandflipflops · 16/04/2019 16:52

@30something I usually have that conversation on the first or 2nd date (about reasons for break up) as to me it’s quite important. I’ll always tell them my ex cheated but not in a bitter, not over it way, more as facts. No point in lying really.
I’m going to get ready for my date with MrSAS. Looking forward to seeing him with our clothes on Grin