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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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My husband has just hit me

517 replies

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 19:09

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

OP posts:
hellenbackagen · 13/03/2019 18:52

I wonder what they've bailed him for....Or is he bailed for court ? If he's admitted it unless there were other enquires or further evidence I'd have thought they had enough to charge and bail straight to court .

Has he got conditions ? He might have breached them by sending you a letter if so. Worth checking with the officer in case as to what's happening and what you need to know.

EllenRipley · 13/03/2019 19:15

Have just read this entire thread; you're doing brilliantly OP, my god! Don't equate (the very normal) tears, grief, numbness or feelings of despair with not being strong. You're making the hard decisions and putting one foot infront of the other, all while dealing with a pregnancy and your day to day responsibilities. That is strength, and it's moving you forward. You honestly will not feel like this forever. Sending you lots of 💪🏼 and ♥️.

babyno5 · 13/03/2019 19:17

Just want to send you the biggest hug @namechange101145 You have done all the right things. I've been where you are but with 3 children. The pain will ease and you will find your new normal. So glad you have the support of your BF.
Be kind to yourself always xxx

GetStrongKeepFighting · 13/03/2019 19:30

I really hope yoüll be ok, OP.

nowheretorunorhide · 13/03/2019 20:28

You might now feel it right now, but your are being so incredibly strong. Focus on yourself and this baby for the moment

ReggieWoo · 13/03/2019 20:44

Well done

Cocobean30 · 13/03/2019 22:01

You’re doing so well op. I have been in a similar position and I promise you in a few months/year the fog will have lifted and you will be so thankful to be free of him. You deserve so much better. Don’t allow him to use your natural empathy to guilt trip/manipulate you xxx

Renster · 15/03/2019 08:02

Did he send the letter after he'd been arrested? Only I would've thought he'd have had a bail condition not to contact you.
You are doing so well, this cannot be easy for you at all.
Sending you this 💐

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 15/03/2019 09:05

As Hellen said.
I'd imagine part of his bail conditions will be to have no contact with you, the victim. He's already broken his bail
Conditions I expect

Insecure123 · 15/03/2019 09:09

Bil conditions are only really worth anything if everyone sticks to them - ie he does as he is told and OP reports him if he didn't. When I left (ran away) from my abusive ex he had conditions not to contact me. He wrote to me, text me, phoned me, turned up at my house, turned up at my work etc etc

I was still so shit scared of the man I never reported him for breaching his conditions. And it is one thing that still bothers me today. Because it also led to him pleading guilty if I agreed to a reduced charge ( the bargaining plea being that it owuld mean I didn't have to give evidence) Again at the time I was so scared and desperate for it to be over I agreed so he basically got a slap on the wrist and walked out. At the time I ws just so relieved it was over and I could rebuild my life but it does sit on my consiounce now that he could go and do it again to someone.

Anyway I digress.......OP I hope you are doing ok. Please know that it gets better - it really does. being completely honest it may very well get worse before it gets better, but stay strong because you will move forward from this and one day look back and see how far you have come. Stay strong xx

ScoobyCan · 15/03/2019 20:32

Thinking of you OP. Hope your BF has got to you or is incoming tomorrow. Thanks

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 15/03/2019 23:34

Glad to hear your news. Hope you're enjoying your weekend with your best friend. Smile

kuljtra · 17/03/2019 06:40

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OrangeJuiceandArmchairs · 17/03/2019 07:21

@kuljtra RTFT

captainpantbeard · 17/03/2019 07:24

kulijtra - shut up.

thinkingcapon · 17/03/2019 07:39

Kuljtra
You're just posting the same shit in various threads at the moment. You do know we can see your username ?!

AlaskaSometimes · 17/03/2019 08:16

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HollyLM · 19/03/2019 17:17

.... how are you? xx

81Byerley · 20/03/2019 13:08

Just came on to see how you are doing. Hope you're OK x

OhLookMarch · 23/03/2019 08:24

I fucking absolutely hate hate HATE inconsiderate cunts like this. I'm about a buy a house and I'm terrified I'll get served with neighbours like this. It is never EVER okay to blast music at that hour if there are people living next door.

BASTARDS!

OhLookMarch · 23/03/2019 08:26

Wrong thread I'm so very sorry xx

lemoncakeisdelish · 23/03/2019 14:53

@OhLookMarch

Best update on a post Wink

Jaxinthebox · 24/03/2019 23:39

Hope you are ok OP?

Charley34 · 01/04/2019 18:49

Hi OP I hope you are well. be strong sending hugs to you x

Thehop · 01/04/2019 21:00

How are you OP?

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