My husband has just hit me

[namechange101145]

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

How are you op?

I hope you’re as ok as you can be x

Have been following your thread OP. What an incredibly brave person you are. I hope you are safe and well today.

I can see immense pressures on you to brush over this and reconcile with your DH. Anyone who has been the victim of domestic violence knows the pressures. You will probably be minimizing the assault now, maybe even persuading yourself you were in part to blame.

You've only been married for 9 months and you've just discovered that you're pregnant. I imagine you are probably longing to return to your previous happy relationship, to essentially ignoring what happened. I can see that forgiving him might be very appealing.

But I would counsel that should you forgive this assault you're only postponing the inevitable. Because we both know it will happen again, and it will worsen over time. If you don't end the relationship now you will have to end it eventually, and the longer it takes the more harm will be done.

If you are tempted to excuse him, remember that he works in education, with the high standards of behaviour that requires. Do you think he could ever lose control and assault anyone at work? Men who hit women behind closed doors claim to have lost control, yet hardly any of them lose control and hit people at work or in the street. No. He hit you on purpose and he intended to teach you a lesson, to deter you from what he sees as disobedience. It was coldly premeditated.

I totally understand that ending your marriage is agonising, but you should recognise that the sooner it's done the less you will suffer.

I've no idea how you feel about your pregnancy. It must have come as a big shock. Please don't be offended if I say that in your shoes I'd be thinking long and hard about whether I wanted to bring a baby into this toxic brew. The deliberate emotional harm that can be done to a child by a man who wants to punish the mother of his children is immeasurable.

Just read the thread OP. Thinking of you.

What Prawn said. I hope and will for you to be ok. You've shown an incredible amount of strength and courage so far!

Hope you're doing okay OP. You may just be a stranger on the Internet but I've been thinking about you all day

Thinking of you OP. I am trying to leave an abusive partner (he is violent yet). I know the stages of grief you are going through and how hard it is to leave. I really hope you're ok

No update then

Morgan12 Guessing the OP has some more pressing issues to deal with right now?

Hope you ok OP

Just finished this thread OP and wanted to say how very much I admire your strength and sympathise with what you are going through.

You have some tough decisions coming up and know you will go the right thing for you, whatever that is. I agree with other PP's who say stay clear of him now and for the future.

He has shown you as clearly as he can, by his actions, exactly who and what type of creatures he is - he will never get better. He will, however, do everything to get the upper hand.

My best wishes for a happier future- and a huge hug. 🤗

OP, I Just wanted to add...no matter how bad you feel now, it will pass. You and your baby deserve so much more than him. Keep strong and be kind to yourself xxx

Hope you’re ok OP xx

Wow @Prawn your post is brilliant! So well said.

@namechange
Please just let us know you're safe.

OP, @prawn has it spot on. The abusive will increase exponentially should you stay & whilst your pregnant even more so. I am a mother who has been punished through the ongoing significant emotional harm being done to my children. It's utterly devastating & I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. These type of men sink to depths you never knew existed. Think carefully about being tied to this poor excuse for a man for the next 18yrs- it will destroy your life & the life of your child. Sending you strength for the road ahead. Please just post to say you're OK

@namechange101145 really hope that you are getting on OK x
Whatever happened last night with the police, your husband etc, please drop us a line to let us know you're ok.
IF you and your husband are going to try and work through this, don't feel you can't post and say so here. Everyone's situation is different and real life can be so much different to writing online etc.
Most think you should follow through and leave him - and you may well go ahead with that, but I do worry that if you're trying to work things through you won't feel you can come and keep receiving the wonderful support from everyone here. You can and whilst some may not agree, this is your life and your choice and people will respect that x
please do post because whatever decision you make, you need support and somewhere you can write it all down in a safe, anonymous environment.
Still sending hugs and thinking of you xxx

Hope you've managed to eat something today and that you're okay OP x

Thinking of you OP.

I hope your ok OP, please feel that what ever choice you have made that you can still post here.all I will say is violence can escalate when a baby is thrown in

OP I know we are technically strangers but only a step from help.

You must have so much on your mind- please know the SW people are around, we can help, and well can only talk for me not crazy people!

No matter what you have support xxx

Best wishes op. I hope you are doing ok today.

OP I hope you are ok, we are all thinking of you x

Hi everyone,
I'm sorry for not updating. I have had a few days with my phone switched off - it's just been too much to respond to random messages etc.
He went without fussed & is staying at his parents.
I'm home & ok. Broken-hearted but trying my very, very best to be strong.
Thank you all for keeping me in your thoughts, I appreciate it xxx