Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Please let me know if there is any info that needs amending or anything else to add to the Dating Site link or other Apps etc. It might have to wait until the next thread......

Well, I ventured on Fabswingers and was disappointed as they were all very polite!

Thanks for shiny new thread tooold - was thinking it should have Fab referenced somewhere in the title!

Thanks for the new thread, got up this morning to find the other thread full.

Not much to tell here, still haven’t decided if I should go on a date on Sunday with new iron whilst Mr SA continues to message me every day.
He’s working really long hours and I can’t see him much.

love unless you’ve had exclusivity chat with Mr SA I’d say go for it!

Morning, and thank you for the new thread @TooOldForThis67

I have a dilemma and I need your guys help! Obviously as many know I'm all in this period of honeymoon bliss...but there's one problem with it.

So my colleague (who I'm sat opposite right now talking away to) who is also my friend, we go to football games and message each other all the time, also happens to be my dates friend. They worked together and stayed friends and hang out with the same people on nights out. My friend/colleague thinks I'm still with my ex so that's fine for now, but we do feel like there's going to be a point we can't/don't want to keep it a secret anymore! And I'm wondering, do you guys think it's better to tell her now? Because if we wait then she may think we've been lying to her for months? I can't believe we are both giving it so much thought but obviously I have to see her every single day so it's torture not being able to talk about my date!

Found you!
I'm on Fab, and send polite, light hearted messages to anyone that I think might be interested in me, but to date, have had no responses... :(

I have (finally!) matched with a local lady, lets call her Miss TW. Have told her that I might be only in the area for a few months, and it hasn't put her off, but I've been there before, so will take that with a pinch of salt..

Unfortunately, she is out of town for a week, so no date until then :(

Coco we haven’t had the chat but I’m pretty sure he’s not dating anyone else as he’s working so much. I guess it’s more about me, I don’t want to go on a date Sunday and then possibly see Mr SA the next day, I don’t want to feel confused, what if I like this other guy? It will just confuse me.

So pleased we have a new thread. Thank you @TooOld

@Auba14 what harm will it do telling her?

Are you worried that if it doesn't work out it becomes awkward with you both?

Aubu - Yeah I can see it's awkward. If you tell her and things go wrong then it puts this mutual friend in an awkward position but then again, if you are close, who else do you turn to? Sorry not much help!

Love - I'd personally go on the date and worry about if you like him later. It's all very well men/women wanting exclusive but if they aren't available.......

Sorry, I think it was me who finished the thread and didn't start a new one!!

So, I had a wobble last night and messaged MrBE to tell him so - about trust issues. I haven't had a response.
We're at that stage when you start revealing your past sex life. A couple of things he told me were potential red flags and he probably thinks the same about me, hence no reply.
So I sit here (can't do a lot as son still has a friend from sleep-over here) and ponder. I know it's all part of starting a new relationship but I hate it!

Lol Batshit - it's ok. I did say I'd do the Dating App list anyway.

@Lovemusic33 I would refer to rule 3 and 4. If you aren't sure, can you not just raise it with your iron. I would not risk assuming that because someone works a lot that they are only dating me, I will need reassurance that they are only dating me because they want to be exclusive with me not just because they dont have the time to date anyone else. I've been there before when I just assumed and it turns out he had other ideas

love what happened in the end re your birthday with Mr SA?did he remember it was your birthday and text you happy birthday?of he didn’t and you just let it go then I’d be even more inclined to say go for the date with the other one.if you end up liking the other one then see how it goes with both before making a decision on who to progress thing with - in my experience if there are red flags/incompatibilities men can’t normally hide then after about the month mark...

I think coming off the sites for 6 months prob wouldn't change much either..
Same old people lol

I have realised that talking to someone new on the phone for hours is never a good sign.
As people have said builds up wrong impression, and anyone that intense and kinda OTT about meeting and potential thinking this could lead somewhere..
Its just not real.
I spoke on the phone last night, with the guy I met last Saturday evening and realised it was not the same kinda call and chats that we had had before meeting.
We obv get on Ok as we managed to talk loads before meeting, and the date was fine.
But there was no chemistry or flirting or any hint of attraction.

When you realise you don't actually have much in common and your personalities are not that similar...

@love I would say definitely meet the other iron. Things can so easily go flaky on OLD as I found out to my cost earlier this year as I had over-invested with that guy I was seeing from POF who suddenly went weird on me after love bombing me for three months.

@tooold I tend to be quite circumspect about my previous sex life . Not that it is that exciting, but as I was single for a long time I have probably had a higher number of partners than someone who was married for 20 years. I always refuse to state a number and never ask partners how many they have had. My long term ex always had a go at me about not stating a number and I told him it was none of his bloody business!

I saw Mr Much Younger last night and had a really nice evening out with him. I am trying hard not to over invest but I do tend to fall for people a bit too easily. I have another iron who I will call Mr Swedish. We have spoken on the phone and really clicked, but we can't meet up for a few weeks as he has his teenage son staying with him for a few days and I am off on holiday with friends next week for 10 days.

I am meeting the couple from Fab on Saturday now and we are going out dancing. I am not sure whether to take things further with them (and of course they might not take to me) but it will be a good night out anyway.

So my date with mr maths went surprisingly well and ended with a very nice snog in the Car park.
Problem is that we live 2 hrs away from each other, have nothing In common,and I may not be posh enough for him ! Apart from all of that it's a match made In heavan !
He has however already suggested date number two ....

Sorry for the drip feed earlier.
So the situation is that MrBE has clearly had women who are more adventerous my words, not his than me, we're talking swinging, dogging, threesome, cuckolding etc. He obviously likes that sort of thing. I told him that I didn't want to fall for him and feel inadequate. He said that if he EVER did those things again, it would be with me. I replied that I don't think I like the idea of being shared or sharing him and wouldn't want to feel pressured into it which he hasn't said anything of the sort but netherless, I don't. I want to be enough for a man and I'd want a man who would be enough for me so that I didn't want to do those things!
I'm not sure I can get my head around this kind of thinking, that he wants to be exclusive, for me to be faithful yet if I wanted a threesome with a man , then yey it's ok, as long as he's involved.. He's a lovely guy and we get on great otherwise I'd move on.
Any advice or anyone been involved with these things?

@TooOldForThis67 hi I've not posted for a while but wanted to say my eyes have been opened so much since dating again. Guys and women seem to be way more open with trying new things. I had very vanilla sex for years but I've been trying lots of new things since single. I am currently considering a threesome (ffm) something I would never have imagined and I have realised I like to be dominated. I would say never say never to things but never feel pressured one of my dates continually pushed my boundaries but knew no meant no!!

@TooOldForThis67

I think the obvious assumption here is that sexually you're incompatible. Do you think this could be the reason as to why his performance wasn't so good first time around? That the vanilla stuff doesn't excite him as much?

I would tread very carefully, right now it probably won't be a problem in the honeymoon phase and when things are good, but these types of sexual fetishes don't just go away over time - and I think in my head I wouldn't be able to control the 'if I'm not doing it with him, then who else is doing it with' type of question in my mind. I'm sorry I can't be much help and even though I'd run away in this type of scenario, I can tell you're trying to find out a way for it to work with you, and I sincerely hope it does work out going forward.

So, things are going pretty well with MrTeacher I think. Because of commitments with our respective children/other stuff, we didn't have plans to meet up at all during this week, but on Wednesday he asked if he could drive up and see me, even if it was for just five minutes, which I thought was lovely! So I managed to get away for half an hour and we met up and had a lovely snog and a chat! We talk via WA and on the phone every day, we totally bounce off each other, have so much in common, and frankly he makes feel incredible

My children are going to their dads on Saturday and Sunday night, so he is coming up to stay for the night on Sunday, which I am REALLY looking forwards to . I'm not sure what to cook for dinner, but was thinking of maybe doing a sort of indoor picnic, with cheese and biscuits, nibbles, some fruit etc. Do you think that would be okay? I don't want it to be over romantic or anything, but can't really think of what else would work. I don't think I'll have time to spend ages in the kitchen...!