Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

👍 thank you for explaining everybody

You are all very busy!

I'm messaging a guy, seems nice, good convo, intelligent, and if the pics on profile are of him, we are a match physically. Lots of speal about being a 'dom' on his profile.
I'm quite cynical about what people put on their profiles.
He gave a few personal datails as to what he does career wise. I checked - all rings true.
All safe enough for me to send a photo of my legs & explain I wasn't a sub.
He's completely switched - from dom to sub. Who knew?
That's on the Fab site, never believe what they say
I'm sticking with Mr Big for now.

This is interesting.... I'm talking/messaging 5 men from the Fab website.
One I delete after looking at his profile pics as obviously a lot older than he'd said. Another wanted to talk to me - completely my type with regard to profile pics etc....

So he calls me - its the same guy
It took me a few minutes to work it out, but yes Mr grey, old & haggard & not my type is Mr hot Italian. Who knew.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense (I'm still trying to work it out myself!) but it seems like people can put up lots of different profiles in this website.

comedy I’m confused - are you saying that the old and haggard guy turned out to be mr grey you’d met from another OLD site and the one hat was more your type turned out to be Mr Hot Italian who you’d met from another OLD site?
And They had both used fake profile pics on Fab? Did they find out it was you and think it was amusing you were on Fab?
The one and only time I went on Fab I was surprised by how many people on there I recognised from OLD - one who I had been on 2 days with and was a friend of a friend!

I think I've missed out on a whole thread, just been so busy ! Placemarking lol. Kids away for 3 weeks from today so will sit with wine tonight and catch up. Hope everyone's dates have been going well! !

Hello morning, I am new here so I don't know anyone's names. New to this thread that is, not mumsnet.

So after being divorced for around 5 years and single for that time, I've decided to dip my toe in the dating pool.

I did try a couple years ago on OK Cupid, but got freaked out by all the weird messages.

Then a couple weeks ago on Guardian Soulmates and Bumble. I didn't persist and gave up

So, I think I need to persist. I don't know the dating world AT ALL. I've got 2 not so little ones living with me. I'm here on this thread for laughs, support, guidance from more experienced daters and to share.

To be honest, I'm bloody terrified of going on a first date. I had a bad experience just after I broke up with ex-DH, and with the divorce, I've been hiding my light. But now concluding I've spent too many nights going to bed with the kids, watching Netflix and eating crisps (still sounds pretty ideal IMO), but.....I want to have sex! And fun! And sparkle a bit, and stop living in my comfort zone.

So....if you've read this far, thank you. That is me.
First question: best site for single mum's! And not too many weirdos would be a bonus!

How does everyone get the courage to meet someone they’ve met online in person?

I’ve agreed to meet someone off tinder today but instead of looking forward to it I feel sick with nerves! Is that my gut saying it’s not a good idea or should I push through it?

Welcome * deadsouls. I have 2 v small children. On tinder when talking to someone I just mention it early on. Bumble is good as everyone declares if they have or want children on their profile

*Mia12 I was so nervous when I met Mr Big as it was my first date in 13 years. I had 3 gins before I went. Wish I hadn’t as although fun he isn’t a big drinker and I gave the wrong impression I think. My next 2 dates (2 new irons) are lunch so no drinking. I will be very nervous but I hope the more I do it the more confident I will become.

Gah how do you bold without @ ?

Deadsouls welcome. There's a thread with all the main dating sites listed.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread

You have to try a few and see which one suits you. There are weirdos on all of them 😂. You just have to ignore them

MIA12 good luck with your date. Just see it as meeting a new friend for a chat.
I try and keep first dates to no more than an hour. Enough time to get an idea if you want to see them again.

Welcome deadsouls - as pp said weirdos on all unfortunately-try a few out and see which you prefer - personally I go for Bumble or Tinder but recently downloaded Happn but not sure how I like that one yet. Sounds like you’ve had a good time out of the dating game to be ready for it again.
Mia first time is always hard but you soon get in to it once you’ve been on a few different dates.I rarely get nervous any more!

Welcome Deadsouls and Mia12
Marlb - you type a star then the name or shortened version then another star Do a preview before posting to see if you've got it right.
Comedy - sounds like you've been having fun on FabSwingers, lol.

MrBE tried calling, sent a funny pic and a good night msg! I've not responded to the msgs. Supposed to be seeing him tonight but unless he gives any indication before hand that he's acknowledged my concerns then no.

Thanks tooold sounds a bit worrying that he was inviting you on holiday earlier in the week and then dropped all his sex stuff on you. From reading your posts you seem to have covered a lot of stuff in a few weeks. I hope you get what you want from him.

After over investing with Mr Big I am pushing for dates with new irons. I don’t wanna fall for the messaging and then find it different in person again

Morning well last night was great quite different! for some reason wine I ended up being more dominant with Mr Grey No 1 and it was great!! He even stayed over which he normally doesn't do. He seems in a better place than he was last time I seen him. I still don't think there is any potential for a relationship but as a regular FWB then he's perfect!! I'm seeing Mr Grey No 2 tonight I have realised we've been seeing each other for almost 3 months!! He still lives in house with Ex - their house is sold and he has bought a flat. He moves next month I'm waiting to see how things go when he moves if they don't progress I will end things. I'm still gutted about McDreamy but the best thing I can do is leave him alone and if he contacts me great. I'm going out for lunch with Mr Italian tomorrow and Coffee with Mr Cyprus on Monday there's also a potential new local guy Mr Cool so I would say I'm back in the swing of things 🤣🤣🤣

coco I'm confused too!
Mr Hot & Mr Haggard are the same man. I talked on fab to both, but mentioned a certain type of very distinctive car to Mr Haggard. Spoke to Mr Hot & he mentioned the car!

Wow go you focus sounds like you are having a great time 😁

@TooOldForThis67 I think you should give your guy a chance and try find out what is fantasy and what he can't do without. It's the what he can't do without stuff you need to be ok with. The fantasy stuff will come and go. With Mr Grey No 1 from last night I told him I needed to build trust up again as some of things he'd spoke about on messages to me last year where too much for me and if that was what he needed then he wouldn't get it from me. He said it was just talk and he hadn't done those things or actually saw himself doing them. He's a FWB so it's different I guess. I need both the tender love making and the exploring stuff.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 yes I am but had a rough few weeks as I rashly dumped McDreamy twice and now he won't see me again. I really liked him but was self-sabotaging 🙁🙁🙁 but the lesson has been learned.

focus I am still a newbie here and the thread moves so fast. Why did you dump him?

Yes, Focus I want the tender lovemaking that you get in a relationship with a bit of kink thrown in now and again, not the other way round!
To be fair to him, the way he described these situations was that it was all to please the girl, fulfill their fantasies but he obviously must have enjoyed it. He admitted his preference is rough sex though, being very dominating. I need to talk to him.

Found you all!

I was supposed to have a date tonight but got a weird “I’ve lost my dating mojo, it’s not you it’s me” text last night so that’s not happening. He was super keen until that text so god knows what happened there but I’m not overly bothered, we’d only had one date.

My FWB/potential relationship situation is going swimmingly, I’m enjoying him very much. Not seen him this week as it’s half term but lots of contact and we’re meeting early next week which I’m looking forward to.

Loads of activity on here, I can hardly keep up! Welcome newbies, and pleased to hear progress with the not so newbies lol.

@TooOldForThis67 my guy who likes this stuff got into it from a girl who liked it rough - really rough!! He does like it but I don't think he needs it if you get me. I think it's a problem when they need it!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 🙈🙈 I dumped him for not responding to a message for 24hrs I had previously dumped him by saying we were not on same page but we managed to chat that one through and had 3 amazing dates after that. I had a friend in my ear saying he was just using me and not replying to a message for that long was disrespectful!! I can see I was looking for a reason to sabotage things as they were going too well. In the end if it was meant to be it would so onwards and upwards!

Welcome to the thread you'll get great advice here

focus I do remember now! It’s so hard not to listen to friends too. Most of mine are married and they don’t understand why I am entertaining these Irons as surely I should be looking for me next husband 🤷‍♀️

Sidge - At least he told you! Sounds like your FWB is going well.
Focus - I think I self sabotage a bit. I've calmed down about it all now. Giving him the benefit of the doubt, he's probably confused as I did ask for rough sex on Weds . But, I need to talk to him about the other stuff he's done and if it's a deal breaker for him.