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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

999 replies

TooOldForThis67 · 22/02/2019 08:59

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

OP posts:
LilyRose88 · 22/02/2019 15:24

@life I would recommend that when you set up your profile on Fab you use a different first name. And give that name out to potential people before you meet them. So instead of LilyRose (not my name!) I might all myself Zoe, for example.

I put a photo of my face on my profile, but hid it and only allowed people I had 'friended' to view it. I didn't put any body pics up, although plenty of people do. And I ignored most of the messages I received. In fact I only responded to two couples, and no single men. I arranged to meet one of the couples (which is happening tomorrow) in a public place to see if we like each other. If we don't, we have agreed that there will be no hard feelings. I did give them my number and we have Whatsapped each other about arrangements to meet up, but I can always block their number if they become a nuisance (although they have been perfectly nice so far).

I would also say don't get drawn into anything you are not comfortable with. There is some good guidance on there for single women in one of the chat threads. It is worth looking at it because it is written by other women from experience. One of the things they say, for example, is don't meet a man in a hotel room if he has booked the room. I don't quite know why, but it wasn't something I was looking to do anyway.

Good luck, and do report back!

lifegoes · 22/02/2019 15:41

Oh @LilyRose88 thank you for that.

It's actually got me quite excited to get home and join up.

@MyOld I was like that when I started with OLD, so no doubt I'll be like that with this. But I'm really trying to keep myself entertained and have some fun. So hopefully I might get it from this.

ComedyBoobs · 22/02/2019 15:45

Thanks for the new thread tooold loving the title & yes, you are correct re: modelling.

crackofdoom · 22/02/2019 15:49

Hello folks, just placemarking really. Nothing interesting to report (sigh).

ccgirr · 22/02/2019 15:50

Old- I think I’ve been adventurous and have tried most things mentioned. I would
Say if he is bringing it up early on he def wants it. I got into that side to spice things up in past and now I’m with someone I’m happy with I don’t feel I need or want it.

On that though do people really discuss their past? I have in past and regret it as it’s intimidating. Keeping everything firmly to myself now! Except you guys of course 😉

lifegoes · 22/02/2019 16:03

@ccgirr I don't think I'll tell another guy my past again. It's not interesting, but I do like be 'adventurous' in bed and every time I tried with my ex, or when I told him what I'd done before he said I wasn't "normal" 👀 😂😂😂😂

So think I'll not offer that information up again

Focus2019 · 22/02/2019 16:13

@LilyRose88 can I ask if this is your first time meeting a couple?? I'm due to meet a couple in a couple of weeks. I've been able to verify who she is as she has a high profile job - kinda makes me feel better for some reason. I've never done it but always wanted to but I have no idea what to do to speak 🙈🙈🙈 does it just come naturally?? I'm also not sure about where to meet well we are going to meet in the town but if it went ok and we decided to go forward I'm not sure about going back to their house? Who would have thought this would happen from a right swipe on tinder 🤣🤣🤣

ccgirr · 22/02/2019 16:15

Yeah totally agree @lifegoes I had a guy tell me he was worried he was too boring for me sexually and I’d get bored of him! In hindsight he was so nice he was probably right 😂

coolcahuna · 22/02/2019 16:38

I've been a bit quiet for a thread or so as I have had literally nothing to report! I did however have something really crappy happen yesterday. Matched with someone on Tinder on Monday, all seemed totally fine and normal. Normal amount of texting, 2 phone calls (from him to me), all totally normal chat, no red flags. Equal amount of chat on both sides.

Date set for last night, drink after work. I arrive on time but am waiting in the car, he texts to say he is running late and sends a really odd photo of traffic -just doesn't look right, photo is too light for the time of day (its dark at 6pm). So I said no worries, I'll wait in my car and text me when you get here. It gets to 6.45pm, no text and no call so I just go home, sod this for a laugh and message to let him know.

When I get home, I look back at the messages and he's talking about traffic on a certain road which is 2 hours away from where we are. The photo of traffic is at a really odd angle -no way is it taken from a moving car, just a random photo from the internet. So I send one more message calling him out. He reads and blocks!

So strange and unsettling! Who was I even talking to and where did he lift those photos from?! Just a reminder that there are some right weirdos out there even when all seems okay. Feeling a bit creeped out today - blocked and deleted everything but aaaaargh!

LilyRose88 · 22/02/2019 16:43

@focus yes it is my first time meeting a couple. We are meeting at a public social event on Saturday and will see whether we like each other. I am also going to talk to the woman and find out what her boundaries are as I don't want to do anything that would upset her. So for example if she didn't want me to have full sex with her OH then I wouldn't do so. And of course I might not want to have full sex with him anyway! And I will make it clear that any penetrative sex must be safe sex.

I would go back to their house (probably not on Saturday though) as I wouldn't want them coming back to my place. If we do get that far I will probably need a couple of glasses of wine Grin.

Focus2019 · 22/02/2019 16:47

@LilyRose88 I'm so excited for you please let us know how it goes I'd need more than a couple of glasses of wine more like the bottle 🤣🤣🤣

ccgirr · 22/02/2019 17:00

Lily - May be worth asking if she’s bi as can sometimes be the expectation if two women.
Cool - that is just shitty! So annoying he blocked before you could, what an utter cockwomble

LilyRose88 · 22/02/2019 17:12

@ccgirl yes she has already said that she is bi, and so am I, so actually the guy might not get a look in Grin.

@Cool I was stood up a few weeks ago and the guy blocked me on Whatsapp when I asked where I was. He then unblocked me and messaged me two weeks later. I called him out on it and he said sorry and then blocked me again!

@Focus I may well need more than two glasses of wine Grin.

lifegoes · 22/02/2019 17:19

I hate when they get the block in first @cool. What a prick, if he didn't want to go why not say. Who goes to the trouble of googling a picture to say they'll be late. 🤷🏻‍♀️

lifegoes · 22/02/2019 17:20

Excited for you @Lily keep us updated on how the meet up goes. You meeting for a drink tonight?

ComedyBoobs · 22/02/2019 17:34

I'm having an interesting convo with a guy who is training to be an astronaut Grin I'm assuming he will be away for very long periods of time (& space)

BatshitCrazyWoman · 22/02/2019 17:34

Yes good luck Lily

My rules were no face pic, message deleted, dick pic alone, message deleted.

I only answered people who I liked the look of, deleted the rest.

And I stated what I wanted, which I won't go into here!!

lifegoes · 22/02/2019 17:38

@ComedyBoobs 😂😂😂 where the hell is he training to be an astronaut?

@Batshit I've got some rules already in my head and I know exactly what I want

KhaleesiTargaryen · 22/02/2019 17:57

Hello! May I join the fun? Just getting back on the horse so to speak, maybe just looking for a confidence boost.... joined tinder and feeling a bit clueless!!! Any advice anyone? Smile

TooOldForThis67 · 22/02/2019 18:01

Lily - Hope the meet-up goes ok. Update please, lol.
ccgirr Batshit and Cassettes - You've hit the nail on the head re my concerns.
Cool - Sorry to hear that, what a dick! I've had some time wasters but they never sent a photo, lol.
Focus - Good luck tonight.
Love - MrSA and the DOM - Grin
Lonley - Go for it. Updates required please!

I sent a "well I've obviously pissed you off with my doubts and questions ......" msg to MrBE. All I got back was "No you haven't, I've been busy xx" - that was at 2.40 and I know he's not at work today.
So, am not going to msg him anymore think I might have said that before, lol so if nothing is forthcoming then that's it.

OP posts:
IWantMyHatBack · 22/02/2019 18:07

If you @ someone on a thread please can you use the full username please. If you use partial ones then other users get notifications.

Thank you

wishywashy6 · 22/02/2019 18:44

Gosh you guys move so quick! I'm just place marking really, nothing new here! Smile

ComedyBoobs · 22/02/2019 18:58

Just read your post cool what a shitty thing to do. Unfortunately there are a lot of flakes about after an ego boost. Don't take it personally Flowers

WarIsPeace · 22/02/2019 19:03

Placemarking. No news here

SonataDentata · 22/02/2019 19:22

I’ve done all the kinky stuff mentioned on here -and then some- but had a bad experience recently. The circumstances are a bit outing but essentially a man who was VERY into BDSM gave me some interesting evenings. I enjoyed some of it but it was just too much as it was clear he couldn’t get aroused without it and I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship where extreme sex was the only thing on offer. He lied about his intentions towards me and wasn’t very nice to me after the sex (which I understand is kind of the opposite of what should happen after BDSM sex) and I ended up feeling very used. It was all about his pleasure and what turned him on - I just felt like a set of holes to him. Sad So by all means have fun exploring, but be careful because it can get really dark.

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