Dating Thread 148 - Having a Fab Time!

[TooOldForThis67]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

tooOld I suppose it all comes down to trust and excepting boundries which takes time. Personally,all those would terrify me so i'm looking for a man who likes me in missionary and a bit of doggy now and then(not dogging)!..... All my ex's and there has been a lot have never been into anything like swinging ot threesomes,or if they were they didn't say. I suppose it's about being compatible

@Tooold I'm afraid that would be too much for me! I am exploring this threesome thing on Fab purely because I am not in a relationship and I am curious. There is no way I would be doing threesomes, dogging or other stuff with a serious partner. And if it goes any further with Mr Much Younger, which I think it might, I would not continue with the Fab couple.

I am self aware enough to know that I ultimately want a 1-2-1 relationship with one guy. I am not into BDSM, swinging, cuckolding, anal or other stuff, I am pretty much vanilla. I do like sex and it is important in a relationship, but I am not going to push my boundaries past where I am comfortable with.

My advice would be to think clearly about where your boundaries are, and make that clear to Mr BE. And be prepared for him to agree those at the outset, and then try to push them.

@thesheep how exciting that your relationship with Mr Teacher s going so well. An indoor picnic sounds perfect, and no pressure on you to slave over a hot stove . Maybe add some wine (if you drink) to relax you both. Also possibly add a desert like cheesecake or some brownies (shop bought of course) or ask him to bring desert.

Actually too old, I did see a bloke ages ago who to tried to strangle me (saying i'd have a better orgasm) and then peed on me. This was after a couple of months. Very strange. I didn't see him again. It's all very well trying things but just be careful x

@TooOld I can only go from my experience

I had a threesome with a man I was. It was so right and I enjoyed it, mainly down to trusting him fully and the relationship was stable. We always had exciting sex anyway so it was right and it didn't damage us after.

That said, an ex I hadn't known long (3months) suggested it, we'd obv been talking about it and we were all up for it. But I couldn't get past this was the start of a potential new relationship and that this was what he was pushing. I suddenly felt uncomfortable and that was I good enough for him just on my own.
We never did, and we later split up.

So I would never rule it out, but for me I'd want to feel secure in the relationship I'm in first.

@focus2019 - you only have to look on the Fabswingers site to know there is a lot of it about! I feel so normal, lol. However, I like to be dominated and boy did he deliver... It was a great experience but not sure I'd want that all the time. I also did anal something that I'd never been able to sucessfully with any other guy - he just knew what he was doing I guess.
Aubu - that's what I'm worried about.
Lily - I get you. It's all very well experimenting with partners or doing the other stuff when not in a relationship but I just want a normal relationship with a mutually satisfying sex life. I don't mind my boundaries being pushed a bit.
In answer to my statement about my doubts to him he replied "Ok, is that good bye then, is that what you are saying?"
To be fair to him, when discussing this face to face, it was all about him pleasing the woman rather than what he wants but this wasn't a one off woman, there have been a few. I just want a reassuring reply back from him and if I don't get it, then yes it will be "good bye".

I met one guy once who was into cuckholding (sp) had no idea what it was went along with the fantasy talk but when he suggested going to a club to meet another guy I said no. I have only explored this stuff with guys I'm FwB although with Mr Grey No2 we have explored some light bdsm but it's a healthy mixture of both. So I'm happy. Asbit happens Mr Grey No 1 who was the first guy I ever did anything non vanilla with messaged me out the blue and I'm seeing him tonight not seen him in nearly 6 months!

TooOld I think you have to hold onto your boundaries - those things aren't what you want, so are they deal breakers for him? I'm quite adventurous, but only from a strong and secure relationship. Or on a just for fun basis. Not really in the early stages of what I was hoping would be a serious relationship. I hope he comes back to you and is reassuring.

TheSheep a picnic sounds lovely!

Lonelyman I hope you can meet up with Mrs TW soon.

I have a 2nd date tomorrow with Mr Sailor - he'd gone a bit quiet so I sent a chatty voice message checking it was still on, and it is. Looking forward to it.

Did have a tentative 'possible meet up' with Mr North on Sunday afternoon, but my younger son has asked to meet up so I think I'm going to take a rain check.

I had a guy message me a month or so ago who was into cuckholding, I chatted to him and he sounded pretty normal and easy going, he explained to me how he likes his woman to be satisfied and likes watching her be satisfied and in a way it kind of made sense 🤣, I’m not against it but I wouldn’t like it the other way around (would hate to see my man being fucked by another woman) so why would I do it?
Mr SA dated a escort a while ago, he said he didn’t really realise what a escort did at first, she turned out to be a professional DOM and did some pretty scary stuff to him 🤣🤣🤣.

User I had a iron try to strangle me the first time we slept together, it was the first time anyone had put their hands around my throat so it kind of freaked me out, apparently it’s something done a lot in porn and it’s meant to make your orgasm more intense , not something a man should do without asking first,

This thread is such an eye opener. I'm no prude but I'm amazed at some of the people you guys meet. I guess if it's from a site like Fab though it would be expected.

For me, I just want one to one intimate and lovely sex with someone I care about. Not into what I guess would be called fetish stuff at all really. Think about the most adventurous thing I've ever done is had sex with an ex in a deserted car park years ago

Ah rich this is why we are all desperate for you to meet a lovely person to settle down with and have lots of lovely babies. Just some nice dates would be a good starting point! Are you planning to resign back up to the dating sites? My friend at work is 37 and is totally enamoured with Bumble at the moment, she says the men are of a 'much higher class' on there compared to Tinder - she just hasn't met the type like the ones on this thread yet!

I have to admit, all this fetish stuff is a bit of an eye opener for me too. It's the first time it's entered my world and I'm discussing it with people. I'm definitely sticking with my sweet and innocent persona!

I have to say that technically being adventurous, threesomes etc are not fetishes. I don't need that stuff to get off. They are kinks I suppose.

I think I'll need a cold shower!

Anal? threesomes? Dogging? BDSM?

Could I possibly have just one woman for one night please?? I'm more than happy to keep it vanilla! :)

Been messaging Mrs TW. Things are flirty, bordering on naughty, which is REALLY not helping... :)

I like vanilla sex best, for me it’s about the connection you feel with someone which makes it great. I have explored many things but some of the stuff people talk about is all a bit too scary for me, threesoms are not my thing as I like 1:1 and I’m a jealous kind of person. I don’t really get the Dom and Sub thing as I like things to be 50/50 and if anything I would prefer to be in control. The cuckholding thing is something I could maybe do but would have to be with people I trust (no ransoms).

I think most of us want a relationship and thoughtful/meaningful sex?

Is vanilla sex missionary?

unique
Don't think so, but don't quote me!

oh sorry, just re-read. Yes, missionary would be classed as vanilla

Thanks @Auba. I've got a couple of busy weekends ahead with friends birthdays, nights out, football, etc so I'll give it another couple of weeks and then jump back in. Bumble was my choice of app before so I'll probably stick with that although it was where I found most of the emotionally unavailable women and those the grass is greener syndrome due to so many options and as you said the men are of a 'much higher class'. Will see how it goes.

I know I shouldn't but I'm just pmsl at the some of the responses, in a nice way. You guys are brilliant! Cheered me up.

Not sure if this interests anyone, but just discovered a "hook-up" app called Pure. It costs to join. You post up that you are interested in meeting someone, and if someone else is interested, you match and can then chat.

Each "I'm interested" post lasts an hour, and so does the chance to chat and arrange something.

I'm giving it a go - nothing ventured, nothing gained, but everyone is hundreds of miles away! :)

Unique I would say vanilla sex is basic PIV sex, no annal, no kinks, no fetish, no water sports and no strangling, doesn’t necessarily mean just missionary (though it’s one of my favourites) 😁

Having been very vanilla (except have always liked anal) until I was 55, I have been discovering all sorts of lovely kinks in the last year via OLD. I've found I like being dominated to a degree, but what I really like is being the dom - and I have an array of weapons and restraints now to choose from! I've discussed threesomes (FMM or MFF) with several FWBs and I'm pretty sure it's not for me, but never say never.

With all these things though, there has got to be a basis of openness, trust and respect in the relationship to explore things further together (plus a shared sense of humour). And I would say this is easier with a FWB where feelings aren't involved. If I actually fell for a guy, or wanted a serious relationship with him, I think I would be quite put off if anything involving a third party was suggested early on.

rich how on earth you have not been snapped up by some lovely woman yet is completely beyond me!

A note about the FabSwingers site. Although I found it mental and overwhelming, the men were perfectly polite and not scary. I felt like I'd fallen into a pool of piranhas in mid-feeding frenzy, but they were nice piranhas! The only nasty man I have encountered on OLD was on Match, strangely enough.

After reading all these hilarious posts. I'm diving into FAB tonight.

So can someone give me the low down of these rules etc.

Just found this new thread. What an interesting discussion you've been having!

@lifegoes I can't tell you the rules of Fab. But the first time I looked I was overwhelmed by it and deleted my account after an hour. The second time I actually put a photo up and a bio. But I only managed about 24hrs.
My profile said I wouldn't answer messages that didn't include a face pic. But no one read that and I just got loads of messages from dicks. The messages were polite, though.
However I will probably give it another try at some point and just try and hang on in there. I did the same with OLD when I first started. It took a few attempts before I was prepared to exchange messages with a stranger.