Has anyone ever found out about their husbands affair and just kept it to themselves?

[howhasthishappened]

As above really.
I'm lost. I'm in shock and I don't know what to do. I wish I just didn't know.

I know how you feel

I haven't told him I know yet

How did you find out op? Are you sure? Do you know her?

How did u find out ? I don’t think I could keep quiet and carry on as if everything is normal. Is it a physical affair? As you may need to get an sti check

I thought a lot about this

I honestly think I would tell no one and let it run it's course, most men don't leave and if you're prepared to forgive and forget I think I would be stoic like my grandparents were

To the modern day couples I know this sounds odd but it is possible just to move on I think

It's someone he works with- he left his work laptop with me and I'd been suspicious previously. I read some instant messages that save in his emails, and he's definitely slept with her.
I'm sitting here with our 2 week old newborn and I'm just numb.

The message I read was from 2017, but I didn't want to read any more so I've no idea if it's still going on. But they still work together and have nights out together so I imagine so

You poor thing. I wouldn't be able to keep quiet, actually I think I would go so bat shit crazy the whole county would hear me.

I don't think I could not tell him I knew but I wouldn't be in a hurry to tell anyone else.

Take your time OP. You don't need to do anything if you don't want to.

could it have just been a one off s couple of years ago? Even they they still work together?

Yeah - my friends are here, he's in the other room so I'm waiting for them to leave.
I took a photo of the message so he can't deny anything.
I just feel physically sick.

I want to cry but I'm holding it all in.
I don't want anyone to know- I'm so embarrassed

I don't think I could not mention it to him. No way but wether or not I told anyone else, I wouldn't rush into making that decision.

Take your time to process things and decide what to do.

This is horrific. I'm so sorry op. I couldn't not say anything.

It's him that shud be embarrassed not u , stick ur head up high he has shamed himself not u xx

Sorry this is happening OP but I don't think I could not say anything

I'm so sorry. Are your parents close by? Could you stay with them for a few days?

I think your in shock and need to just wait for some clarity to come about how you want to proceed. I don’t think you should ignore as you deserve better.

Oh OP

I don't want to go anywhere my daughters asleep and have a 2 week old.
I really don't even know what's going on. I can't believe this. We are (were!!) so happy. I feel completely blindsided.
The message I have is from a month before our wedding. I'm heart broken. Truly heart broken.

I’m so sorry op

And there’s no need for you to feel embarrassed. This is not your fault. Xx

First of all, you should absolutely not feel embarrassed. He should be the one feeling completely ashamed of himself. I think you need to talk to him about it. It's very possible that it was a one off fling that he's felt bad about since. If you don't talk to him about it you might picture worse things, and it's not good for you to keep it all to yourself. I also don't think you can truly forgive and forget if you don't have a heart to heart with him, and get everything out in the open. He needs to know how hurt you feel. You can use your newborn as a fresh start for the relationship (obviously only if he's truly sorry for what he did).

Could it have been a last fling before the wedding. OH has told me guys sometimes do that like a rite of passage. It is pretty awful but apparently it does happen.

OP Sending you all the strength in the world.