Has anyone ever found out about their husbands affair and just kept it to themselves?

[howhasthishappened]

As above really.
I'm lost. I'm in shock and I don't know what to do. I wish I just didn't know.

You probably showed your hand too quickly
In this one. If it doesn’t feel right or usually isn’t.

Why does he being on a business trip that day mean it's not what he said happened about other peoples messages saving in his email?

FWIW I don't believe him and I'm worried for you x

You still don't have anything. I'm sorry OP but I really think you're going to drive yourself mad over this.
You don't trust him. You will keep looking until you find something. Even if nothing ever did happen.

We've spoken at length I didn't tell him what I had found- he is adamant nothing has happened.
He has been so calm, and understanding but has maintained his denial.

I am not normally an overly emotional person. I think being 2 weeks post partum - my hormones have sent me into a tail spin. My head is all over the place.

I spoke to a friend which definitely took some of the weight off.

I am fine until I sit and stew and over analyse and the feeling comes back.

I'm going to speak to a counsellor next week i think.

In your third post you said you had already been suspicious. Why?

Wait... So his laptop was with him in London- not sitting on a desk where a colleague could be pranking him? Is that what you meant?

MMM3 she means that the night he was meant to have slept with the other woman he was away overnight on a business trip - so not at home - so the possibility was there for him to cheat.

I think you're going to have to make some choices here

1. Park it until you're less hormonal and re visit it then

Or

1. Keep digging and see what else you can find to prove that he was unfaithful - although as he isn't being unfaithful now that might be difficult to prove

Or

1. Decide that you were a bit of a Twonk back in the day (not nice to him) so if he was unfaithful back then (also a Twonk) , maybe it all balances out

Or

1. End the marriage because you can't live like this

Or

1. Draw a line , now, today. Decide that what happened before , whatever happened, from you or him, is done, over, finished. Do not venture back over that line in your mind. Not ever. Move forwards with a clean slate and make a happy life.

@Gina2012
Thank you.
I'm feeling less emotional and more rational right now and I have decided to go with option 5.
We have talked and talked and when he looks at me and tells me he loves me and would never do anything to risk us- my doubts disappear. He hasn't once got angry or even dismissed what I'm feeling so I have to let this go and move on.

I just want to say I really appreciate everyone who has replied to me. I get that I've been annoying and a bit all over the place so I'm sorry about that.

I'm going to focus now on my little family and adjusting to life with our new baba.

Thanks again.

I think that's a good idea.

5 is the best plan imo.

Life is about trying to be as happy as you can and your DH sounds like a good kind loving man now - and you're being good kind and loving to him.

It's all balanced out 😍

Great up date.

Now enjoy your children :)

My baby is 28 on Thursday- it goes so quickly.

Excellent post Gina.

Absolutely the right thing to do OP.

Enjoy your life and family. It’s precious.