Has anyone ever found out about their husbands affair and just kept it to themselves?

[howhasthishappened]

As above really.
I'm lost. I'm in shock and I don't know what to do. I wish I just didn't know.

For anyone that stayed together after an affair- are you now happy?

wat do you want to happen.do you if you could want to move on or think yo ucan?
do you need some time out.it cant be settling in right now.you need people to comfort you for this to happen and you to feel safe with those feelings.
I know you don't want to tell anyone but you need to be held and looked after.
do you suspect its still going on.would he be honest now?

mine tried op.the trust was broken.sorry.

From my experience no we weren’t happy, I could never fully trust him and rightfully so as he had another affair. And another affair...

Tell your mum. It will change her view which will be horrible, but your view is changed too. If you want to work on your marriage you need close confidants that know everyone. That's your mum. Tell her

I stayed and yes, we’re very happy x

@S021
How long ago did it happen?

I'm going to speak to him soon as I can't go to sleep without. I want to explode.

Good luck. Feel so sad you are going through this with a 2 week old baby.

Relationships really need to be built on love and trust and once it’s broken it’s going to take work and time to get that that trust back. It’s down to the effort you both put into it really to put it right. I know someone who discovered their husbands affair during pregnancy but as a couple they got through it and came out the other side happy. I guess it depends what type of person you are. I personally would struggle to put it behind me to get past it after being hurt so badly. I think you need support and someone close to talk to. Don’t think about protecting him from your mums opinions I do understand why you Would consider not saying anything but I would need the support through this awful time.
Sorry this is happening to you. Sending hugs

My heart is literally breaking for you op. I need to get off mumsnet...I want to throttle all these awful cheating men I’m reading about.
Be brave. Remember you are not to blame. You have the upper hand now, because you know.

Op your going to go through a whole range of emotions. This is awful timing but is there ever a right time? Better to know now.

Also not to derail but wtf modern couples wouldn't understand? Not everyone wants to smile, Xanax through life and go home to someone who looks you in the eye and cheats.

howhasthishappened
It was 3 years ago

I maybe wouldn't say I know youDID sleep with someone back then.if you suspect its stll could be going on then id ask if hes having one now,...then mention the woman.and only then bring the proof you do have.oh hell I don't know! such a hard one for you op I really am sorry.you have paes and pages of people here holding you tight ok.tell someone.let them hold you tight.xx

I forgave a ONS rather than an affair. That was possibly easier. It depwnds on his reaction and you having time to process it.

So sorry to read this.
I agree you need to get some support.

We are here for you x
You have to make whatever decisions are right for you.

A good friend of mine stayed with her cheating, lying husband. I've never understood why. It took her a while to tell people.

How you feel now does not represent how you will feel tomorrow, or next week, or next year. I understand that embarrassing sense of shame, but it will pass.

Please tell your mum. You need to talk to someone. Good luck.

how

Please remember this is all him, not you. He broke your family, your trust, your relationship.
And he did this knowingly. He did not make a mistake.

I’m sorry you are hurting so much now. Please take care of you.

Oh OP how awful for you with such a tiny baby. It would be totally understandable if you did want to try and work through it.

My sister’s DH left her when she was pregnant for OW but when the baby was born they tried to make a go of it, however our family were very angry and obstructive of them getting back together. It is something to consider if you do want to try and work on things post-affair, your family will be far less forgiving. It is only because they love you and hate anyone that hurts you!

But equally, as others say, you deserve all the support you can get. Please don’t call yourself an idiot or anything else. You aren’t - he absolutely is.

So sorry you are going through this, what an arsehole.
Can you look again and see if it's still going on. the chances are he'll not tell the truth if it's been going on a while, he'll just say it was the once, before you got married.

I couldn't keep it quiet i'd tell everyone who wanted to her, especially his family. But we are all different, you should do what you feel is right.

You must have suspected op as you were checking. Is that the case?

Good luck 🍀

Tell your mum. You're going to need her support whatever happens

Oh Op I'm so sorry you're going through this. I couldn't not tell my DH, he'd guess something was up anyway. Tell your mum, you'll need her.